Strange,

how I crave love
and deny it too.

Why the flowers
start to wilt the moment
they start to bloom.

How the warmth
of a fire in winter and the pain
of getting burned remind
me of you.

I crave to be so much
It haunts me in dreams I don't wish to indulge
A perfectionist, my heart wishes
But such a thought and my soul clenches

I crave to be the only choice
Not a second voice
To shine alone like the moon
But be a star soon

I crave to rule hearts
Have power to be unbroken in my palms
To heal scars
Loving the most darkest path tragedies cast

I crave to be at the top of every crest
Never fail a single test
To answer every question right
Be ideal to anyone in sight

I crave to be so much
Selfish and guilty desires proved such
When all my wants are pacified
Will i finally be gratified?

tripping over my words
cannot express the tidal wave
wait for it to dissipate
wait for goodness sake
dripping over lack of words
my world dries up like dirt
waiting to get off the bench
craving to be quenched
needing to be heard

why do
I crave
danger
in your
safety

its the end of the old beginning of the new
but i can't pretend to walk through this new door without any residue
without any trace of you, or memories
starting a new project, transversing a new lane
i wish i was as sacrilegious and vain
as i used to be before i was beaten black and blue
until i encountered you and my confidence was rocked
until i encountered you and your mind games won’t stop
even after i have burned away every trace
even after i have burned away at the stake
you always find a way to worm your way into my peace
disrupt and unplug, mistrust and vengeance
but what really is love, i just crave revenge