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imtooawake May 2019
I love you.
Three words
which change everything
For better or for worse
May give you wings or break your heart
Can make you smile or cry
Could be a way to the new life or quicker death
Connect or break people apart
Can be a reason for peace, more likely war
Said in a serious manner
                 but more often without seriousness
Be careful before you say them aloud
A woman in awe
of her complex emotions,
she’s fearful but raw.

Lies and devotions
fuel her struggle from within,
is he deserving?

She wants genuine.
Which master is she serving?
Her heart or her mind?

This is what love is.
In contradictions she’ll find
she wants to be his.

He fills up her heart
so if she makes space for doubt,
she’s scared he’ll depart.

Her feelings throughout
tell her this love is certain,
but still she’s afraid.

Behind the curtain
hide all the worries she’s made.
It’s such a pity.

What a heart can hold
exceeds its capacity.
Trusting love is bold.
Instagram @insightshurt
Blogging at www.insightshurt.com
Buy "Insights Hurt: Bringing Healing Thoughts To Life" at store.bookbaby.com/book/insights-hurt
Jaxey Feb 2019
I hate you for making it impossible to hate you
- j

P.S. Why am writing this again?
god why do i need you so much
Nik Bland Feb 2019
Hello
Hi
I know
It’s me again
Sans the smoke and mirrors
Away from spaces in my head

And again and head don’t rhyme
But I didn’t need to say that
My self analyzing ways
Were in a haze
But made their way back

And I’d be impressed with myself
If there was some sense of pride in me
For each time
I grab said prize
It forces insides outside of me

And rhyming me with me?
Come on, man, that was simply lazy
Hazy
Crazy
Amazing
Maybe
No, you’ve got it, baby

Use it to the maximum
Forget minimally
But what if
Amidst these rhyming riffs
They see the real me

Do they see the real me?
There’s not a chance
It’s blasphemy
Because my armor, then would be
A holy one... almost gaping

People often ask me what my poetry’s about
They point like
“Oh?”
And I’m like
“No”
And they just question
As words pour out
And they move and they burn
And they twist
And I’ve learned
Not matter which way they’re turned
They’re about things that don’t last

They’re about loves torn asunder
About fires, rain, and thunder
Like that song
By Stevie Wonder
They’re the “Joy Inside My Tears”

And they lower and boost my fears
With all of their rusted gears
So I feel movement
A shift I hear
And yet I find it just still
Here

Hello
Hi
I know
It’s me again
This same ******* rut
That undercuts
These roots from sinking in

And the smoke and mirrors
The music
The light show they all go dim
I throw them to the floor
And the mirrors
Show me him
And he is me
But who am I
And...

...I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to shout
The truth is I’m not sure who my poems are about
They always hold some part of me
Hoping, despairing, living, dying
Some are etched
In stone-thrown rage
And some just leave me crying

Potential wins and consistent loss
They’re what fill my pen
Some acknowledgement to
A God who is always good
But a world that’s not my friend

And the struggle of my color
And the ripping of my heart
And the feebleness
Of my intellect
As I play this brief part
As I suffer
As I benefit
As I laugh
As I bleed

As I say hi
Hello
It’s me again
Just me
In the battle against being
I have now taken up the fight,
Accepting my contradictions
Or let authentic self give flight.

Denial of divided lives
Is to embrace a fallacy,
While to embrace complications
Is in no way hypocrisy.

In looking to my ideal self
I found how many I could be,
And with confusion and despair
I’d given up on finding me.

My right brain took hold of my pen,
Meanwhile my left brain studied math,
Broke hearts with my sincerity
Lamenting my conflicted path.

An enigma at a distance
Of far too many hidden sides,
I choose faithfulness to them all
And disappoint the world besides.
Instagram @insightshurt
www.insightshurt.com
Buy "Insights Hurt: Bringing Healing Thoughts To Life" at http://store.bookbaby.com/book/insights-hurt
md-writer Dec 2018
it fades away, but not because it’s gone.
time does not destroy
nor years the pain unmake;
scarred and scarring.

layered pain:
a heart’s a frail and terrible thing.
accumulated horrors
in the attic of the mind
forsaken and forgotten
in light still burn the eye.
time’s circle turned,
by day and night unfurled
does not the bleeding wipe away
but distance adds and
layer stacks on layer.

don’t deny the hollowness
the bleeding in your eyes.
with falt’ring step and screeching voice
it’s gone before a sigh
without a whisper,
clasped in hearts aboil,
hanging, sinking, thoughts uncurled
like bleeding bits of earth.

drown this terror,
dye that gold
don’t deny the doubter’s goals
flying, denying, it’s all the
same to me,
filling up the measure of a broken,
settled gleam.

inching forward, step by step,
we look above for light and hope,
denied this life we drink;
and blight
devours in the night

sanctified by fallen gods,
a dripping-honey angel
stooping, breathing down our necks,
to free our death’s sweet
struggle.

Alone, alas, ‘tis not to be, this dream’s
a fatal liar,
for nothing that we see tonight
will ever meet His fire.

Denied, we died. It’s time to bleed
in fire.
Watch it hiss. We kiss. We fly.
And speak of our desire.
دema flutter Oct 2018
It's not cool that you did that,
why are you always contradicting yourself, on purpose?
Lynnia Oct 2018
You’re a whirlwind
Always flying
Through my head
Never dying
Back and forth
To and fro
Like a merry-go-round
And around you go
You’re in and out
Up and down
Backwards, forwards
Smile, frown
Half-baked silly
Then stone-cold
Who are you really?
Will I ever know?
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