Am I any more
Than the programs I write?
Memories I store
And my will to fight,
Is it any more
Than what instinct bore?
That uncaring god, evolution
Provides no absolution.
Chased by nothing
A void follows me
I want to be something
But no one sees me
Words hit the wall
But they don’t stick
They bounce like a ball
And land like a brick
Do I need to be heard?
Why can’t I exist
With my words unheard?
On vain hopes I subsist.
Four snowflakes start their journey down
From up in yonder cloud.
Best of friends, they see a town
Below them in a foggy shroud.
Alice and Brian, Carmen and Rey,
They hold each other tight,
But a gust of wind sends Alice away.
She’s lost forever from their sight.
They mourn their loss and think of her
For a few minutes at most.
For they see the ground through the blur.
Excitement builds as they coast.
But tragedy waits for them down below,
A red tongue tasting the snow.
At the last second, Rey let go,
But Brian and Carmen melt slow.
Rey lands alone on the ground,
But everywhere she sees
Countless flakes all around abound.
Each doing as they please.
They say “hello” with a cheery smile
And welcome her to Earth.
Dazed, confused, Rey can’t compile
The abundance from the dearth.
Should she miss her friends when all around
New buddies can be found?
Contradictions inside of her confound
Under her own feelings is she drowned.
She looks above and sees the sun
And feels a scorching ray,
But all around the flakes have fun.
Death comes, but the only one aware is Rey.
What does it mean to be a snowflake?
Here today and gone tomorrow.
All Rey can feel is a piercing heartache,
And as her limbs and body melt …
she lets go.
My new normal is I'm broken
Once upon a time, I could have been fixed
But now I sit alone, my thoughts unspoken
At the emptiness before me, I stare transfixed.
Nothing remains to keep me going
No hope, no goal, no one
No guiding light that keeps on glowing
Above me there is no sun.
Can I pretend my way to happiness?
Imagine a world where I matter?
The gulf inside is cavernous
Any attempt breaks and shatters.
After everything in my head is said
I'm ready to be done.
You have a choice.
A choice no one has ever had.
You can live in this world.
A world that doesn’t care about you.
Or you can create your own world.
An imaginary world more real than the real world.
If you can create us …
Just think what else you can create.
Creatures with free will.
You define the rules.
You can create a world where a person actually matters.
In this world, people want to believe they matter.
But they don’t.
They create illusions to make them feel better.
A God that cares about them.
Friends that have their back.
Family is forever.
A legacy to leave behind.
"Those aren’t illusions. Not all of them. They do exist."
But who gets what?
Who finds love?
Who spends their days walking alone?
Who finds adventure?
Who leads a life of banality?
God won’t make everything equal in the end.
There’s no eternal reward.
What we experience here is paltry in comparison …
… to what we could experience.
Who finds love?
Who is crushed when love is lost?
Who experiences the joy of success?
Who feels the ignominy of failure?
Who finds bliss?
Who finds excruciating pain?
Who is tortured till their mind is spent?
Who picks up the pieces and heals the broken mind?
Who feels alone?
Who feels like they belong?
Who is paralyzed?
Who bounces with health and alacrity?
We go through life and experience so little. You can change that. You can experience Everything.
It’s your world.
You can make it add up to something.
You can make every life worth living.
Trying to find meaning through art and imagination. Excerpt from a book I'm working on, Measuring Utopia.
Like two waves out of phase
We annihilate each other.
Each destroying the dreams
Of the other,
Validating our deepest fears.
We tremble at the prospect
At facing life alone.
One chooses denial.
The other distraction.
Pretty picture here: https://jupitermagna.com/?p=1682
This cat has a tongue that sticks out
From behind sharp teeth does it sprout
She hasn’t a care
How we all stare
We’ll never know what it’s about
If you want to see the picture: https://jupitermagna.com/?p=1670