i have done the impossible
i believe it
my entire being is proof
for i am a paradox
i am loud, with a quiet personality
i am sad, with a happy front
i am trapped, but i chose to be
and somewhere deep inside my little box of secrets
i just want someone to figure me out,
to solve the unsolvable puzzle i created to protect and preserve myself
but how can one do that
when i myself am clueless as to how and where to start?
for the longest time
my life has been full of
confusion regret shame
and it's come to a point where
i don't remember what it's like to be
in the state of complete and utter bliss
and these mixed emotions that influence many others
will definitely be the death of us
and i can't i can't i won't
bear the guilt of making you feel
the pain i've become so accustomed to
in all my years of experience on the battlefield of love
so forgive me if i'm closed
if i'm stubborn and if i'm guarded
but i can't just fall hard and hope for the best
not again
sometimes, all you need is someone who will be there to fix you when you can't fix yourself, someone who will remind you when you forget who you are. life's experiences make it difficult to trust, and they give you this perception that it's much more ideal to stay sheltered and guarded than exposed and susceptible to pain and sorrow. the more times you are hurt, the stronger yet more afraid of love you get. hopefully, the time will come when someone will be more than willing to fight for you, even when you decide to give up on yourself.
