Metallica is my friend’s favorite band
I had always dismissed them as generic and repetitive
But that arrogance and indifference eventually faded
And recently I started going through their music
Discovering there was a lot I missed out on
Adding new songs to my life’s soundtrack
While teaching me a lesson of humility and empathy
Conversations with my friend have grown deeper and more specific
Helping me relate to him
Strengthening our friendship
Through the vast and surprising benefits of consuming art

I am trying
to keep my head above water...
and avoid looking at you
if i mistakenly do
I will sink so deeply
air will no longer be
a familiarity
not even a privilege
simply nonexistent
instead
i will solely breathe you in

drag a match
along my teeth
i taste the sulfur
on the tip
of my tongue
staring at the small flame
i have the strongest urge
to touch it
and feel the slight burn
then douse myself in gasoline
and be swallowed by it whole

i want to throw myself off a bridge
if it means
you will no longer
flood my head

I watch the flicker of lights
They are clear and steady
Blazing out continuously
In brilliant letters

Huge digital billboards
And cold electronic signs
Sending signals to the brain
Of the latest consumer designs

No time to think
No time to digest it
Keep on working
To pay for the transmit

I will buy a new car
And replace the TV
Keep the system rolling
As part of the economy

Stroll around the mall
Listen to the doublespeak
Join in with the crowd
Buy the same as last week

Buy now, buy now
Self autonomy
Buy it replace it
Its good for the economy

Goodbye for now
But you will be back
Customer loyalty
With biofeedback

Poison flows through my veins
And I'm ready to attack
Do not come near me
Do not **** with me today
Depression is anger turned inward
And I'm sick of feeling sad
Maybe if I turn my anger outward
I can start to feel better again
They say assertiveness beats aggression
But I need to let it out somehow

with you
there was a warmth inside me
a purity i never thought could even come to me
much less-
consume me
it filled every crevice within me, no space was left inside of me
and then it slowly dripped out like molasses
slowly but surely dripping out with its sweet warmth leaving with it
loving you
was like rolling my heart in glass
left me with tiny wounds i have no way of fixing
but the sweet feeling i once had with you

i feel my body yearn for it
like it yearned for pain once
it doesnt want you
it wants the warmth and purity you once made me feel
the all consuming, head to toe, ever so sure love
except-

without you