Are we looking for endings?
Or just a means to an end?
We're so used to the idea of stories not ending unless they end happily
that we must push,
bolt the door,
and plaster smiles on our faces till we convince ourselves we're finally okay.

What about unanswered questions we both have?
I turn to the pages of my diary to ask why you left.
To ask why you didn't try to stop me from leaving.
To ask if you ever cared or if you feel the same sense of relief that I feel now that you're gone.

What would be the last frame of this movie anyway?
Are we smiling as we walk our own ways?
Is one of us left crying at the table we shared drinks and curses at?
Are we going to be dragged kicking, screaming to our ends by our own egos?

Or will this end softly in silence?
Will a last kiss be appropriate?
Will a last time running my hands over a real, unpixelated body be enough?

There are more open doors now than ever before.

But, yours is the only one I want to close.

I lay down this dead roses
Out in the open field
Watch the petals turn to dust
And vanish in the wind
Make a heart felt wish
For a soul I once thought I knew is dead and gone
Sank deep into the abyss
So glad I could catch a glimpse of whats left of your sunken soul
And now I loosen my grip and set you free
May the waves carry the weight of your burdened spirit  
Forever hold your peace
©Sonia Ettyang

We had driven each other crazy
We had hurt each other so badly
Truly,
We just were not the right ones for each other
The old versions of ourselves deserved better
Indeed,
We needed time to heal
We needed time to grow

Yesterday,
All we could feel is pain
We were full of regrets, of hatred, and of questions
Today, I can say
The horrors of the past are finally free
Now that we’ve found the missing pieces of our puzzles,
The past can rest

The better versions of ourselves are now with the right ones,
With the ones whom we can love better than we ever did before
With the ones whose patience, understanding, love, and everything in between, are more long-lasting than ours before

Today,
All I can feel is happiness and gratefulness
Thank you for all the memories we had shared
They might not be the best ones
But I have learned and grown a lot
I am still deeply sorry for all the pain I had caused you

But dear,
Everything worked out just fine
And that's what matters

sometimes I find myself
looking down
thinking of the past

I look through photos
of when things were okay
of when he still loved me.

I try and understand why things ended this way
why he felt they had to end at all
I think I understand

but then I wonder why I wasn't worth it
the nights he said he had faith in us
I believed him, what changed?

he doesn't talk to me anymore
it makes me sad
but I hope he still thinks of me

Please take a quick a moment to write a review.
If you were not satisfied, what could I do?
Customer care is always my goal,
to all future guests who visit my soul.
Closure’s essential to us moving on,
It matters to me why now you are gone.
Fearful my future will repeat mistakes,
I need to know first I might have what it takes.
Did I love too strongly at first when we met,
then settle for stable as needs being met?
Was it the fact that we need to work harder?
disappointments too much for you, so why bother?
With your help, my program can surely improve,
for now I am ready to make my next move.
Patrons of my heart may have different needs,
beyond conversation and sowing of seeds.
They may not discover the flaws that you see,
because they love past them, unlike you, with me.

When you step your feet on
The dance floor
Do you wish for more?
Maybe you know how to move
Maybe there's something to prove
But once you walk-on

You begin to lose your sense
As music takes control
You start to dance with your soul
Your feet move without you
You just have to makedo
While the room becomes tense

You dance your last dance
As you start to look up
You feel yourself burning up
It's finally all over
Maybe there will be some closure
For this was a first glance

Into your dream of dance

remember
how the sun barely peeked into his apartment,
the way your curious face greeted me,
the way his entire apartment was ours for a few hours.

the way you held on to me,
your hands around my waist,
your head slightly tilted, just barely resting on my shoulder,
and before we knew it, we were sprawled on his bed, basking in each other's warmth.

the way you stroked my hair,
telling me everything might not be alright,
telling me I'll find someone like you, probably better,
telling me to find someone like you,
but you're the only one like you.

telling me to move on,
telling me to be happy,
telling me to find someone to love;
i guess we both know we'll only be happy if it weren't us.
i guess we're never really meant for each other.