So I stranded
on the island of the lost
Someone "here your heart be mended
if you stay and pay the cost"

Salty and black tears
in open sea they flow for years
Decades lost trying to forget,
memories themselves hard to get

The isle is warm
but beings stay torn
For it is a mere rite of turn
barely enough time to learn

Your choice.
You choose.
Some you'll win.
Some you'll lose.
But at least you had the guys to choose.

Faced with a path, no end in sight.
Should I take the left or right?

Your choice.
You choose.
Remember, some you'll win.
Some you lose.

All that pettiness doesn't upset me,
Honestly it amuses me more than anything,
Words don't do nothing but give me humor,
People always talk **** about you,
It don't matter what you think of me,
The only thing that matters is what I think of me.

You're only talking **** about me,
Because you're not happy with yourself,
Life only gets better when we become better,
Make better choices not the same ole ones,
I don't react but I sit back and see the truth,
Emotions are unavailable,
Emotions are dangerous,
Emotional attachments get the best of you.

Stop allowing your emotions to control,
Control your emotions not let them control you,
Can't tell you how to feel,
But the way you deal with everything ain't cool,
Channel your emotions better,
The way you deal with your pain is unhealthy,
Being pain doesn't make you have to hurt others.

We bring the pain onto ourselves with our choices,
Not all the choices we make are the right ones,
What we think is right isn't always right,
The empathy of life is very important,
You gotta see things from every way,
Can't just see things our way,
That would be unrealistic.

I use to hurt people,
Now I help people,
The pain brought me some peace,
It had me thinking about my life,
Thinking about my choices,
Looking at myself,
Questioning my motives.

Life ain't the same for me,
Don't think the same,
Don't live the same,
Don't feel the same,
God replaced my heart with a new heart,
Was once cold-hearted,
Now I have a big heart.

Facing pain in the eyes changed my vision,
Crying my eyes out left me numb,
What I felt I can't feel no more,
What I was doing I ain't doing no more,
The way I was living i ain't living no more,
Confessed my sins and repented,
God forgave me,
Right my wrongs,
I'm now singing a new song.

(Reflections after Thanksgiving)


All the things that happened
in the past, and the ones that
are about to happen,
all flowed out/all will flow
out of life's huge cornucopia:
good and bad harvests in food,
health, career, even relationships;
could be bitter, too little, too much
of sour, salt, spices, and of sugar

We make choices from what flows  
out...some are promising, others turn
disastrous...some are happy with
just enough...there are those who
opt for a spill over their rims, and
get inebriated......or overdosed.

We've lived through poverty, wealth,
trials and tribulations, triumphs,
failures, birth and death, as well.

They say, a blending of spices, of
bad and good...of black and white,
of positive and negative energy,
brings out a certain balance...
angels, demons in human clothes
trying to claim each other...trying
to claim the populace....diseases
plague us...distorted minds distort
the true essence of democracy,

we end up conquered...or conqueror;
we may mellow down, or get worse.

Such a diverse horn of plenty!

Yet, we got free will and discernment,
so we may not be duped by lies
wrapped in bright white satin,
it's really up to us.

Also, it won't hurt to be grateful
more often...not only in November...


Sally

©Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
  December 1, 2020

My mind is in conflict
My mind is lost
I am losing sanity of choices
Not too sure what is ahead
And why do strange thoughts keep coming back.

In moments of clarity, it all looks fine and rational thinking it IS fine.

In moments of irrational and blurry imaginative state I am confuse and unsure.

I hope I can make the right ones.