i can't explain the way this makes me feel
i don't believe; you told me it wouldn't hurt me if i didn't
it still hurts me
so i let go, i let it leave
still it does me harm

and all those preachers
with their talk of gods and spirits
i only believe in one kind of ghost
the echo of existence
and demons of history
mine, yours, theirs

let it go, let it leave
but there's still movement in the mirrors
so drink my coffee like it's morphine
and numb the pain with sleeplessness
god forbid a nightmare come to life
stay awake
they'll do no harm

i dream of him in shades of blue
yellow, purple and green
and knuckles dusters do their job,
sweeping dirt away with a single touch
because i
am a filthy stain on your best gown.
he was being thoughtful, cleaning up a mess

it's all my fault, really
i inspire rage and discomfort
and i try to let go, but
i'm the one that needs to be left behind
and if you let me go, if you let me leave
i can't do you harm

don't believe in me,
believe in your ghosts
exorcise me, please, and maybe i'll sleep
no more morphine, no more bloodshot eyes
just a place to lay my demons to rest
bury them with my body
almost, i'd find myself blessed

She is a girl
full of dreams,
affectionate, adoring,
easy to please.
A full life ahead,
so it seems....

Living and laughing, dancing a dream,
loving life, to its means.
Sixteen and beautiful
full of passion and grace,
she hungered for the day
she could take her place.

Hopes and dreams
of a full life ahead,
she never saw it coming
she never had any dread.
Daytime turned to darkness
joy to grief,
laughter to tears
with no sign of relief.

Beaten and wounded
youth taken away,
she longed for the day
she could escape this place.
Day’s turned to weeks
weeks turned to years,
she kept smiling and living
but joy had been replaced with fear.

Protecting the ones she loved
from the outcome of her fate,
she pushed it deep down inside
and hide it at any rate.
Laughing and living a girl in her teens
living life to the fullest, happy future dreams,
then found a place, safely deep within
to hide from the torture of this cruel evil sin.

Living and laughing, dancing a dream,
loving life, to its means.
Sixteen and beautiful
full of passion and grace,
she hungered for the day
she could take her place……
~

Burning eyes,
tears running down her face,
he tore her heart out again
as he put her in her place.

Pain racked her body
and hate-filled her mind,
but she couldn’t let it out
because it wasn’t the time.

Another day in this marriage,
another day with him,
she hated his whiskey breathe
as he climbed within.

Holding her down,
covering her face,
fighting for air, how the hell
did she get in this place?

Sitting in the bathtub
alone and afraid,
looking at all the marks
his ***** hands made.

Rage building, consuming within,
watching the blood swirl in the tub
and knowing her sweet baby girl,
was gone then…..
~

Dad, please don’t hurt me
It hurts my skin, leaves bruises
Thrash me not, oh please

Come with me, little brother
Come run away with me
To a land distant from here
Where there is no violation
Towards you or me
No purple, red or blue bruises
To adorn our brown hides
I know you are hurt
Deep inside your little soul
I wish I could have been
Able to help you become whole
But now no more, little one
Let it be our secret
That we ran away to oblivion
Away from dad to be on our own

I pretended
your mouth
didn't water
for them

You see...

I would
imagine riding
bikes along
shores with
my sunny
closed eyes
and la la la -

but

I could
hear them
***** you
out behind
don't signs
at the end
of the bed

Being quiet
was always
louder than
ice dropped
in warm tequila

POP!

Sheets were
never tucked
quite tight
enough