We felt it, with our hands pressed tightly against our child-chests. Boom Boom Boom.
It sounded nothing like a heartbeat, But explosions being let off in the distance. And it smelt nothing like fear, It smelt like sweat and dried ***** caked onto torn pajama pants.
We grew to know the insides of our mouths, with our soft gums clutched between our teeth - We learned that our voices were safer kept stowed away there.
We picked at their hands like we picked at our scabs, Because pulling off healing skin, felt like pulling off a rooted burn, And prying off desperate fingers from off our bones, Meant prying off something that terrified us.
This was our strength; This was our paralysis.
We felt it, with our ears pushed against the door, Please Please Please
It sounded nothing like a pleading mother But warm air, creeping through vents with a sudden force. And it smelt nothing like fear, It smelt of fresh blood, kissing the lips of a weeping woman.
We worshipped knives like they worshiped our baby-soft skin, Because cutting open ourselves meant cutting out what they left inside, And watching the filth flee down our wrists, down our knees, Felt like draining water Out of a clogged tub.
It felt nothing life fear It smelt nothing like decay It was a continual clutch of the knife against their throats