I crack it open softly
letting a single sliver of soft golden light
pour in, a solitary ray of sunshine breaking
through the clouds.
I hear the whisper of her steady breathing,
rhythmic waves ebbing and flowing,
on the slow inhale of the sea.
Her old penny copper hair twinkles in the light,
strands borrowed from a seraph's braid.
I envy her easy slumber,
the way her lips part with the stillness
of full relaxation.
I tiptoe across the carpet,
a sentinel seeking to capture the moment
in a bottle, or in my marrow.
I sit beside her and marvel at the miracle of her,
how she was forged from my very blood,
from my very bones,
smirking; she has my spirit too.
The world will not be ready,
not for her fierce blue eyes,
nor the blade I'll teach her to wield with her tongue
and a spine that won't need fire to be steeled.
I kiss the top of her resting head;
she does not stir.
I retreat in tiptoe,
close it delicately behind me,
and I pray.
I pray she never forgets the joy
of floating bubbles.
I pray she always uses the word NO
as powerfully as the age of 3 declares it.
I pray she will continue to run to me,
for hugs,
for comfort from every dark,
for love that will cover over every hurt,
and tend to every need.
And I pray she could always know this peace
and the guard of a door
opened and closed
by a heart, humbled and grateful.

I still remember his hands on me
Touching me everywhere
Everywhere he shouldn't
I still live under the same roof as him
Acting like it never happened
Acting like a loving family
But still I feel his hands on me
I told my mom
She knew everything
Yet nothing ever happened
Yet I sleep crying cuz I feel his hands on me

do you still wonder
if they think of you?
think wonders do you
if they still do?

I do. I did. we did.
I wonder if they care
that I thought of them
when I did care to wonder

how wonderful!, if it is

so...

Do you think of me as your baby?
Do you want to take my pain away?
Would you take it on
so it’s not on me?
Because I’m yours
and you’re here to stay?

It always makes me feel so crazy
How much I want you
but can’t stand the thought
How easy it would be and how hard
You only wanted someone like you
Maybe one day I’ll be glad that I am not

It feels so wrong to think about moving on
as if our connection is something impermanent
As if you chose me and regretted it since
I know there’s nothing that you owe me
But you’ve always known the expectation
And I think you resent me because you failed

It’s always made me feel so lonely
Sometimes I think I’m less of a woman
because of you
Learned everything through the lens of my daddy
until he crushed and wasted me, too

I never feel as angry now
I fought for you, not knowing what I was up against
And when you were crying at the counter
I tried to love you
You couldn’t let me in

Something inside me
A weak arm tensed
Finding the mettle
Blood pumping
Power for winged escape
Across subterranean
Winter and May
You bang the drum
Strength of the world
For some kind of catapult
Which fires you into dismay
Too distraught at disorders
Sabotaging destructive nonsense
Bordering on the edge
Drifting into red
Colder than blue
Mood as consistent as milk
Souring upon sunny bloom
Fragile blossoming
As sensitive as can be
Broken from tiredness
Losing from little use
Truth is
Feel useless
Inside me
Something different
Pushes me
Towards something
Which feels
Quite new

In a distant land, a city bright,
Where olive trees bathed in golden light.
Fields of oranges, ripe and sweet,
Where children’s laughter filled the streets.

The markets buzzed with joy and song,
With bread and sweets the day stretched long.
And in the air, so soft and near,
The call to prayer, both calm and clear.

A boy named Adil, young and free,
Kicked a ball beside the sea.
His laughter rang through ocean’s roar,
His joy, untouched, his spirit pure.

The sky, once bright, shattered apart,
A deafening BOOM that shook the tide.
The earth exploded, a deafening roar,
Shaking the heavens, tearing the floor.

Adil, still laughing, thought it was a game,
Chasing his cousin, calling his name.
But with each step, the world shook more,
And childhood crumbled to the floor.

His cousin’s grip was all he knew,
They ran, though neither understood.
“What game is this?” young Adil cried,
As they fled with nowhere to hide.

They ran through streets of bloodied cries,
Each corner echoing with broken skies.
Adil, with innocence in his chest,
Held his cousin’s hand, still thinking this was a test.

Where once stood a shop full of sweets,
Now rubble, fire, and twisted streets.
The joy he knew had turned to dust,
The city crumbled—lost to rust.

Still, Adil ran, his mind confused,
This had to be a game, he mused.
“Mama,” he whispered, wild with dread,
But this was not a game he had been led.

Through empty streets, they ran in vain,
Until cold metal came like rain.
A machine, massive, towering high,
Once seen in movies—now his sky.

Adil stood, still thinking it’s a race,
The terror too real, too much to face.
“Is this the game?” he thought in fear,
But the nightmare pressed far too near.

A child doesn't judge,
A child isn't double-faced.
A child tells the truth
Without disguise.

A child is fascinated
By the smallest wonders.
It sees magic in the stars,
The tiny bug on the flower,
And a face in the clouds.

A child starts to dance
When the music plays,
Doesn't care about
What others think.
Draws the sun in the corner
With a smiling face,
Waves to planes passing by,
And cries when it's scared.

A child is the only human
Living almost free.
That is why we should try
To be a little more like a child.

I have no heart
I have no good intentions
I am not sure I even exist
I do what I do, because if not me
who else?
even my tears have run dry
if someone is hurt, you must mend them
if someone is starving, you must feed them
if someone is mourning, you must comfort them

A little girls face lit up
overjoyed
she ran and hugged me very tight
that's when I realized, I had a tear or two more in me
then, it dawned on me, inside every  heart is a candle
the little girl somehow lit mine
or maybe it was in hiding
if only my tears could save them all

"i don't know." i said.
"don't know what to do,
don't know where to go."
"it is dark in here." he said.
"dark in your head,
dark in your heart."
"it's okay." we said.
"okay to feel the pain,
okay to be yourself."

"it is your fault." we were told.
"your fault that the world is dying,
your fault that nobody believes."
"is it our fault?" our brain asked.
"can i ever do something good?
am i ever enough for them?"

"should i go?" my heart asked.
"yes." my brain said. "you should."
"why?" they're asking on the news.
"why?" the parents ask at home.
"this is why." my spirit is thinking.
thinking when i rise up, up to god.