In the city that never sleeps
Nobody has time to dream

No one cares for the color scheme
Everybody on these streets are mean
Women over here dress to ****

Yearning for a life to steal
Outrageous trigger happy police
Ruthless, spiteful and rigorous
Kindness comes fatally priced

No time for love or paradise  
Obsessive depression is what's subsidised
Beggars on my train struggle and scuffle
Oblivious oppression lurking
Delirious children deceived  
Yesterday's conception grieved

Craving lust is a must
Ageless shame is  
Rationalized pain
Everyone here idealizes blame
S*erenity is an absentee in this chaotic city

Gifted are the dead,
we shot them in the head.
We ran them down insane,
they cried out in vein.
Guilt we mustn't feel.
For life is so unreal.
And broken hearts don't heal.
I know how they feel.

Does it matter, do we care?
Does it help if their not there?
Endless visions, endless thoughts.
Night and day don't get caught.
You will be shunned, you will be blamed,
if you break the heart that you've now tamed.

What is real, what is right,
Who you sleep with every night.
Or the one you dream of, is it fair,
To love the one who cant be there?
Questions always on the mind.
Which way to go, which choice, which time.
Never ending how you go,
For the other path you'll never know.

© Crystal Erickson

~

Come Closer to Me
Don't you see
the other side
of the gloomy world
in me ?
Don't you see the darkness swirling in my eyes,
Scenes of self-hatred and massacre raging .
The epidemic of deteriorating ,
rotting all the matter inside me.
All the satanic enchanting echoing inside,
where the Chaos is just a thing from which one pursues Peace.
Where the Angel of Darkness scratches the walls of your soul  
An abyss of disorder flowing through my veins ,
pumping numbness all inside me,
making me hollow ,
just a little bit more .
WOULD YOU STILL
COME
CLOSER
TO
ME ?

Another one to add to my record books
I've watched yet another day's sunrise
but today's mash of day to night to day run on is slightly bent
Maybe it's how the clouds & sky looks
OR MAYBE my peace is on one of those really awesome highs
But to me it feels like the weather is trying to repent

Alone in my mind, I frequent there quite a bit
I'm a V.I.P. member, platinum access
Party of one, that reservation will never change
Routine time after time I'm left standing, too crowded to sit
&& knowing the outcome every time, yet still I habitually return to the mess
Some great times come out of there, I know it seems strange

My attention is rather easy to get but you won't have it long
Distractions catch me quick, lost in another disorganized thought
Loud endless static echo's from the constant ruckus
Which can be more annoying than a jammed doorbell's "DING ****, DING ****"
Focus is nonexistent with all the commotion, which is quite a lot
BUT I am not becoming one of the hopeless

Alone in my mind, always working overtime
Day or night doesn't matter when, it doesn't take breaks
Untangling it can sometimes be a tedious mission
Worse than trying to get directions from a mime
Hours could be lost by how long it takes
& for a split second, eyes blind to reality with empty vision

Now inside trying to sort & arrange my thoughts & word flow
From what makes sense & what needs to get real
But just like quick sand, it never fails
I get stuck in the same place
To my notebook's pages, it refuses to cooperate & correctly go
But it's not always such a big ordeal
Occasionally the words nice & easily fall into the correct space

Alone in my mind is where I usually can be found
When I'm up with the moon & stars
& all the house is fast asleep
There I sit with notebooks all around
With pages of scribbles about life & how it scars
But that's where my soul speaks & my emotions run deep

the smell of cigars,
the mess around us,
the arguments we start,
the feelings that makes us fall apart,
the heartbreaks we suffer,
the words we mutter,
the broken pieces we repair,
the kisses we share,
the hugs that mend us,
the insults that turn to dust,
the tears we sob,
the banks we rob,
create one
chaotic perfection,
out of us.

so many thoughts
ricocheting off the sides of
my hard white skill

I let them out
not by speaking
(words stumble awkwardly and
all at once)

but by
w r i t i n g
(words finally flow and make sense)

There are times, when you want to cut-off from the world.
And there are times, when no one's around you to hold.

There are times, when you've a lot to say but words fall short.
And there are times, when you've nothing at all but you still have to talk.

There are times, when you're strong enough but too scared to fight.
And there are times, when you're weak but you do what's right.

There are times, when you feel like crying but tears don't fall off your eyes,
And there are times, when you're happy but can't laugh as a friend next to you cries.

There are times, when you don't want to reveal the secrets buried in your heart,
And there are times, when you want to share but nobody's close enough to be a part.

All I want to say is, I could have lived through all those times,
If you had just said, "I'm with you sweetheart, so everything's gonna be fine".