which one was i, the meddlesome moth or the bumbling butterfly
was i instinctively drawn, to an open flame, on a lonely night
or, caught in intricately, meticulously, woven spider’s web
how could i avoid either fate, all men are dumb and succumb, as did i
both end the same, in death, only one is fast, the other slow
how sweet it was, to have kissed her lips, to have been, her lover

I hereby invite every oz. Of pain I've been evading for years even before the recreations, to come forth, and hit me like a truck.  I understand you may need to switch between reverse and drive a few times, but I am ready.  I need my light again, for there's darkness in every direction I've been heading.  Forever unsteady.  At this point in my life i'd be happy to spend it sitting on the dock of the bay strumming the days away with the ghost of Otis Redding.  I feel like ive been riding a bike, the chain aint on but I'm still pedaling.  Show me a mystery and you will find another kid meddling.  But I dont wanna hang around while the dust settles in.  I want to watch the sun rise and set again.  I want to float beyond the skin I've been living in.  Soul been starving to go to a place I dont know exists.  I'm grateful for my life, but it's getting harder to shake this.  Been stuck in a cocoon phase unable to complete the change because the structure's too thick.  Mind still races while keeping body tethered with bricks.  But I will embrace it with the waves of sound and silence.  There is a way to make it through, and I'm hoping I will find it.  I will slowly stand up, again after hitting the ground.  Maybe enlist the aid of Chris Jericho to help me break these walls down.  I have lost many times but have not yet been fully defeated.  I want to disappear, but a holistic retreat may be what's needed.  Exorcise the traumas we mistakenly call demons.  I'll die before I settle being a cheap cog in the machine.  I just want to wake up again to see the reality of my dreams.  Instead we're haunted by alarm clocks often robbing us of sleep, and memories of truly beautiful scenes...that just happened.  Main character forgot his purpose along with the plot of the movie..why's the audience clappin'?

So what if the sky
won't let you walk away
with a patch of the blue sky.
Catch that slip through
the fingers close by
'a pair of butterflies'.
It does a matter whether
you say there is or there is none
truth is a piece of heaven is on earth!

Weirdly wonderful caterpillars,
liquefy, transform, and reborn;
Wonderfully beautiful butterflies,
Who taught you how to do that?

Mother Nature, the mother of gaps;
Magical hand hides ignorance,
Misdirects from real question:
Why do we even ask at all?

Curiosity satiated we move on,
Forgetting blindness unremoved.
For if sighted, a new tongue to learn,
Mother Nature, the new alphabet.

Crawling. I've been crawling. Down in the dirt on my abdomen. Searching for a tree to cling to. To hang from upside down. To take a step into the chrysalis. To be born a new.
This skin I wear, encases me. When I've moulted I will be free. I will escape the confounds of bone and flesh. Of time and space. Of birth and death.
When I pass. When I pass through this knot. The knot in the infinite line of things. I will pass through biology, enter into a state beyond. Beyond our senses. Beyond our limitations. With nothing to gravitate towards.
The butterfly, it calls to me. My day is coming, it will be free.
It's been inside of me. Been here all along. Waiting to come out.
I am not the skin I wear. I am not the title I bear. I am, I am!
We're all larva. We all got butterflies inside of us. Come and crawl with me. Get down on your abdomen. We're gonna find a tree. To hang from, and set the butterfly free.