I Love You.
I still do.

I remember the feeling of love

like a blanket.

Wrapped warm round my heart,

shielding it from the

frigid cold of anxiety,

keeping me sane from the

wallows of depression.
Waking up to you,

sun caressing your face.

When your eyes fluttered open

they shimmered gold

the prize of kings

yet in reach

of my trepid hands,

confident in the glow of your love.
As my towers crumbled down,

castles torn by the

catapults of panic.

Swinging strong,

crashing into my masks,

cracking walls of my heart,

you could not save me.

I never needed a hero.

Just a healing song,

wrapping wounds

after war torn battlefields

lilies growing hope in the wreckage.
Yet your heartstring clung to mine,

crimson as my blood.

Tugged to tightly,

struggling to hold me

as you held yourself.

Shadows nicking your heals,

as they crawled up my body to reach yours.

Some sacrifices are not worth making.

Some people must be left to the aftermath.

Some hearts cannot be salvaged from shadow.

You couldn’t bare the weight of me forever.

So you let go,

You saved yourself.
For that,

I am thankful.

I could never stand to see you drown

in my ocean.

Not when you are still attempting to
tread through yours.
But your lighthouse,

still a sight for my eyes.

I believe in the light,

I love your light,

I struggle to the surface of

the pitching waves.

Crashing on my face,

salt sticking to red flash eyes,

strangling my throat.

I crawl to the top just to

catch a glimpse of you.
Wishing for the days

where you would

sail out on your lifeboat

and hold me in the storm.

Just making sure i could still swim.

Just to see if I was okay.

To answer your question.


It is still hard to breathe underwater.
I swim through waves

steadfast, as they churn

mockingly. They can see my weakness.

But I love you,

that is enough.

I will keep paddling,

listening to my heart,

the beat of my hands and feet.

Slashing through the violet tides,

I will reach shore.

You will never have to sacrifice yourself

again.

I will reach the shore.

I will reach for you.

Who knew
Someone
I didn't know
Would say
Hello?

Who knew
That night
We'd see
Ourselves
In each other?

Who knew
We'd share
So many things
And never met
Before?

Who knew
Every day
He'd ask me
"Do we
Still match?"

Who knew
The answer
Was always yes?

Who knew
Less than
A week
Would pass
Before he
Kissed
Me?

Who knew
When he
Kissed
Me
It would
Bring back
Memories?

Who knew
We'd kiss
Again
And
Again?

Who knew
We'd fall
In love?

Who knew
It was
New Years
And I
Was only
Thinking
Of him?

Who knew
One month
After Hello
Would be
Goodbye?

Who knew
The
Difference
Between
"Goodnight"
And
"Goodnight,
Love"
Was enough
To make me cry?

Who knew
I could
Feel him
Even if
I never
Saw him
But now
All I feel
Is his
Absence?

Who knew
I'd  fall
To pieces
But
Pick them
Up?

Who knew
I'd just
Drop them
All over
Again?

Who knew
He wouldn't
Or pretend
He doesn't
Care?

Who knew?
Not me.

Simple symphonies all around
The touch of simple sighs
The hunger for affection
So deep
So painful
It hurts her on the inside

The promises
They broke
Under your own tender lips
The signs keep showing
The scars reappearing
You do nothing about it

What more can she ask?
Her desperate screams goes silent
She just needed you there
Where were your showers?
Where were your words?
The soul so gentle and warm

Catch her before she goes
You don't know a thing
Her heart is leaving you soon
Aren't you afraid of it?
Keep her closer, why don't you?
You are losing her....

....quick.

I have seen lonely places
But where do broken hearts go?
Do they look for home?
But where do broken hearts go
If home is where they just came from?

So where do broken hearts go?
Do they find somewhere new out there?
Or are they too broke to even care?

Where do broken hearts go?
Do they wait to meet another broken heart
So together they could make a start?

Oh where do broken hearts go?
I wish I do know
Where I'm going.

You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You are always on my mind
You made me feel special
You made me think you were different
Then I saw you with her
My heart sank 10 feet
I guess "no dating" just meant
Not dating one person
And to you, I was just another girl
But how am I supposed to see you tomorrow?
I'll have to pretend I didn't see you with her
And after all that
I still want you

The moment i realize you're gone, is the moment I die.
More correctly, the person I was dies.
Because who I was with you, was something entirely different than I ever was.
When you left, she was put at a stand still.
Waiting.
But as soon as she knows we're through?
She'll be gone.

Sure, I could meet someone else but they will never be the same as her.
She was something I can't describe.
She was a best friend.
She and I got very close but now,
I can't do anything to save her.

I'm watching her die in front of me,
Very painfully.
Very Slowly.
All she says is,
"Be strong. Be strong.
You can do this.
Smile through it.
I love you..
I always did..
He always did."
And I just have to look down and
Be strong.
And
Smile.
And say I love you too.
And say,
But I don't believe you.

That person will die..
And I will have to bury her.
Then I will grieve.
Then I will move on.
And when I think about her, the person I was with you,
When I think about you.
I'll be a little sad.
But then,
There will be a new me.

A me with no one.
Because this time I'll make me,
And I won't let anyone get close.
I'll travel,
I'll see the stars but from different countries.
I'll look at the horizon from the top of a mountain.
One I climbed,
By myself.
On journeys I took,
By myself.

Because I loved the person I had become.
But losing another person like her will hurt.
Very much.

Plus,
The person you are?
Is the only person,
My person wants.

I may disagree with you sometimes but,
I'd still rather have that,
Than anybody in the world.
Because right now?
It's you,
Or nothing.

I don't want,
Anyone else.
I want you.

So I'll wait.
Waiting with a girl I love,
Me,
As she slowly dies.
No amount of fundraisers
Or spread of awareness can help her.
She and I are waiting,
And waiting...
Waiting to see,
If you will bring her
The medication to save her.
The one drug she needs to save her is something,
Only you can provide.

Yourself.

Ours is a tale not meant for the telling.
No warnings or heedings need be passed on.
Ours is a story just meant for the living
And letting go into the forgotten history of humanity.

And yet I have each letter, each note, as keepsake;
To what end, I still haven't figured out.
I wish I could forget you
Like you've so easily forgotten me,
But my memory was always that much better--
Your external hard drive you called me--
Now my blessing to curse has turned.

Except, even without the physical mementos,
I would still be able to close my eyes and
See my hand reach out to that one errant lock of hair,
Hear your boisterous unbridled mirthful laughter,
Taste the savory meal your willing hands prepared,
And bask in the leftover glow of a lost true love.

With my eyes closed, we still exist.
With my eyes closed, we always exist.

But my eyes can't stay closed forever.
I have to open them now.
And I hope that when I do,
I'll hate myself a little less for ever loving you.

Total Strangers
Total Strangers > Friends
                               Friends > Lovers
                                                 Lovers > Ex-Lovers
                                                                 Ex-Lovers > Total Strangers

Sadly, it stops at the beginning.

Its 6 am and everything just..
I don't know it hurts
Maybe more like I'm sore
I think of you and my chest starts aching I can hear my heartbeat and sometimes it doesn't match up and I wonder if it's because you're no longer here
I remember at one point in time I was so sure my heart only beat because you were a part of my life
Isn't it so strange how someone so close can become a stranger in a days time?
What is time anyways?
They say all wounds heal with time but if time doesn't exist how am I ever gonna get better?
**** I'm so sore..
Like I was saying..
There's like this hole in my chest, ya know, like the ones people write about
Well I get it now
I always wonder if you feel one too
If our love was enough to provoke a black hole in your heart when I left because a part of you went with me too..
And if it did, where can I find it? Because I miss you.