I don't need your arms to hold me,
your blank stares to reel me in.
You can keep your twisted maze of lies,
the end where I begin.
I must forge my chosen path,
it only leads one way.
And shall I cross you wandering,
I'll lead you far away.
You have no place inside my home,
you must go find your own.
I'll show you to my soul's front door,
and reclaim my proper throne.

Waking up with the power to acquire the success I ran behind,
My head starts to spin as soon as I hit my bed empty-handed.

I ate my feeling away,
Digested the food but not the emotions.
Punched my stomach, just to stop my hunger.

My state of mind died,
while I counted the calories I consumed.

I lost nine kgs but I'm still sad.
Maybe my body wasn't the problem all along.
Maybe it was me, not accepting myself,
Whilst accepting people who really didn't care.

But I'm ready to break my boundaries.
I'm ready to grow and not just belong.

Just remember, the next one you choose
Choose wisely-
Be selective,
Of the habits and disguised demons you allow to occupy
Your space
Because truth be told,
As women, we will be their emotional home
And this home is sacred.
Build your pillars high and strong
Made concrete of love, humility, sensitivity, empathy
Radiating an identity of beauty
A distinguished strength.
All may want a glimpse, but--
Only you know the labor of building this foundation;
Brick by brick,
Bare hands,
bleeding day and night,
And you cried yourself to sleep thinking of all you lost
To gain what you have in front of you today.
The one you let in to your sacred abode
Will come to you at day’s lay with all his sorrow,
Vulnerable, expressive, head held low.
A cruel punishment from society to think he does not have the tools
that you have and you are the only one who holds the power to soothe
His battle wounds.
Love this man--
But if one day there is a crack in your pillar
And you are feeling weighed down from pulling a boulder to the top
Every day like Sysiphus;
Crawling out of a pit of despair on your hands and knees
Needing a place to lay your head,
Make sure your man is a man
That understands the strength of your emotions
And his own
To carry and lift you both up without a word,
Like the wind beneath an arctic tern.
Helping you secure your pillars before you fall completely apart
As he knows this is his home too,
So he must care for it like his own.

I’m so ******* sick of all this *******
It’s exhausting
I’m tired of it!
I’m not your possession
I’m not your slave
Your subordinate
Your minion
Your tool
Your punching bag
Your therapy

I am an adult human being
I’m a person
I’m your ******* daughter

I'm trying to do nothing
Lest I do something
That I'll regret.

I'm under pain and pressure,
Know not the measure
And it makes you upset.

Maintaining my functions
Lest I malfunction
And blood spills

If you keep pushing me
Eventually
I will.

Beyond boundaries
Shuttered blinds
Guessing lines on faces
all of those have saving graces
What we see is not always conceived
Payment in kind
Who do you know with certainty
and the effects we project
Before during and after
Do you understand yourself enough
to communicate through life

Don't ask me for more that I can give,
I can only guess the consequences.

My heart and soul push against my mouth every time you analyze my answers,
sealing it shut with empty humor and nervous glances at the clock.

Your eyes scan me as an intrigued scientist would a lab rat.

Dismissing it as curiosity doesn't make me feel less of an open skull,
brain laid out on a table before your intrusive fingers.

Our languages got fixed up, I said one day.
You believe in unrestrained openness and I believe in boundaries.

A dog and a cat play together in different speeds.

I understand you feel like I'm not giving you enough,
but I don't want to pay for our friendship with every passing thought that crosses my mind, every emotion my heart has ever felt.

Sharing is like giving you blood.
Each drop drains me more and more until my heart is left empty, my vains running dry.

I know they don't exist, but sometimes I can't help but see you as a vampire.

When I say I don't want to talk about it you interpret it as an invitation to probe farther.

Telling you that it's none of your business would only turn you against me and I do not feel like running circles around my apologetic lies.

You said that the cracks you make in me will deepen our friendship, I'm afraid of falling down the endless void they create.

When I told you of the blood and the cracks,
you pitied me and said you'd wait for another moment to search into my psyche.

A venomous snake hiding in a fruitful bush, my privacy is not a level to forcefully unlock.

I appreciate what you have shared with me, I have shared planty with you as well.
Don't weigh them against each other, the percentages are nothing but a false debt.

And after you hear this poem, don't run to me with glistening tears and ask me for more that I can give, I don't owe you my life.