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Monique Clavier Apr 2022
you caused this fire
with a dimpled smile and a plane ticket
can’t suffocate a blaze with a match
petrol running down my legs
wanna watch me burn at the stake?
7,000 miles of wildfires called me by your name

like a moth drawn to a flame
we kissed on the light up floor
your fingers inside of me, it was divine to me
surrendering my soul to my god
left my lipstick scars all over you

i ate the apple from the softness of your hand
our garden of eden was no holy land
i let you knock at the door of my spine
no malice in my voice, come inside
but baby, you weren’t expecting
me to multiply

like a moth drawn to a flame
i bit your tongue in the break of day
wanted to taste your blood for a change
nothing like a little emotional
devastation to get me through it

yell it más, señor
til your vocal cords are ******
oath taken in sacred silence
tragedy and insanity and is
it all a game to you?
because you hid while i sought
yell it más, señor
yell it más

and when i told you of the flower blossoming within
you cried like a boy for his mother
you see, there’s no way we can keep it
not for your career

and the next day on the 405
my soul wrung empty inside
suffocating loneliness, all-consuming
75mph, nearly opened my door
told my therapist i wanted the asphalt to eat me alive

they took me to the madhouse
while you had a pint and a laugh miles from my hospital bed
they said
“she wants to end her life with a baby inside, oh, what a terrible state she’s in”

the doctor watched me as i cried
with cigarette breath and roaming hands
forced the wand inside of me
at the same time i jumped over the ledge
and did you know i laid in silence
while he whispered in my ear

“good girl, it’s a girl”, you see, oh?
can’t you feel the joy?
of creating something like God herself?
like vines sprouting from the soil?
but Oceania, so much panic, yeah
too far, didn’t wanna come near
my ash-strewn wreckage

like a moth drawn to a flame
blazing light, burned just right
i wanted you to suffocate my pain
pretended it didn’t exist for our

transpacific love games
i’ll be Marilyn and you be Errol
the actor who can’t survive any longer
and the one who devoured a woman whole

yell it más, señor
oh god i’m bleeding on the bathroom floor
so much sacrifice for paradise
but isn’t this what it’s for?
tragedy and insanity and
oh no, it’s all a game, i see
yell it más, señor
yell it más

yell it mas, señor. a poem adaptation of a song of the same name that i wrote. also hello again hellopoetry!
CW: abortion, coerced abortion, abortion guilt, suicidal ideation, ****** assault by a medical professional

certain verses/choruses/phrases were changed in their entirety. this was completely a vent piece that i basically vomited onto my keyboard about an international long-distance, long-term relationship i was in, an unexpected fluke of a pregnancy, medical negligence/****** harassment, an abortion, the dissipation of his love for me, and the guilt that haunts me. not exactly a light read. BTW i’m 1000% pro-choice and am blessed that i was able to have safe and relatively easy access to a clinic following my termination. the guilt i feel for my abortion is normal for certain folks and does not mean that i did anything wrong. it was correct but the situation was traumatic
jǫrð Dec 2020
i saw that shift in your gaze
when you remembered
the last time
you became something
Wild, Hungry

whats in my mind, asked
with that eager
and far away look
in muddy water eyes
I sympathize, compromise

it's happened again
while the city lights
rippled the water
with their speed
you put your hands on me

and I doth not protest
when you say
i was the one that got away
so why am I back
so why am I afraid

to turn away or
say this ain't ok with me
why must I empathize
without boundaries
or fear an abrupt ending

to this uncomfortable moment
The History: You put me second. You put me last, asked me if you could grab my *** and all I did was question my worth.
Tammy Cusick Aug 2019
Billowed down onto natures bust
a face full of dirt
a mouth full of maggots
corpsing coercion onto frantic plates
slopping up the juicy details
derailing off the tracks
into a new train of nature,
saving only what comes of value
yet, you don't save yourselves.

Lucrative hands slithering softly by
ready to steal your life with just a touch
how much are you worth?
Unfortunately, nothing.
Nicole Feb 2018
Not sure if you changed your number
Or ignored my texts
But you need to hear this
Remember that **** that happened my senior year?
When you decided that you'd stay alive if I stayed physically involved with you?
And continued to touch me even though I said no?
You better not have forgotten
Because I sure haven't
That is called coercion
Not only is it ****** assault
It is ****
Which makes you a ******
You made me feel so bad for stopping
For no longer letting you use me
That was victim blaming
You placed your supposed 'love' for me
Over my literal existence as a human being
You justified ****** me
By saying you loved me
And that doing it would keep you
From killing yourself
But you didn't realize how much
You were killing me
Just because you love someone
Does not mean they owe you anything
Whether they like you back
Or not
Whether they've hurt you
Or not
You do NOT get to assault people
Just because you think you deserve it
I'm not as mad as I used to be
And I'm only writing this
Because you need to hear it
You need to know you're a ******
So you don't do it ever again

I can't change what you did to me
But you can make sure it NEVER happens again
AllyRose Jun 2017
Desperate times like this call for a distraction.
Feeling wanted and craving some attention.
There's always a price to pay without an education, in the art of seclusion.  
Laying on the couch as he gazed upon me.
Taking in the sight, to his delight
he found me charming.

He told me, "I'm a fighter. I'm a queen."
That he found me particularly fascinating.
"We're not so different you and me,
Which makes you superior when compared to anything."
I was stuck between the sheets. Plunging forward.
Falling further. Wondering why his smile made me feel so sickening.

I'd be crying as he took me in his arms.
Made me believe he truly meant no harm.
He held me tightly and he muttered,
"If you get any older maybe we could move past heavy petting.
You can't gain experience without experimenting. "

He told me, "I was pretty
And around pretty things don't mind if I get a little touchy feely.
Younger girls fall so very easy. Just don't gain any unwanted feelings,
without them I can still make you feel amazing."
Once again I was stuck between the sheets. Plunging forward.
Falling further. Unknowingly risking everything.
I felt like nothing when compared to anything.

He'd pull me closer as I started shaking.
Assured me that'd he'd never hurt me and there was no need to be afraid.
He made me feel uncomfortable rather than amazing.
Turns out his words meant nothing.
Still sitting frightened in his lap.
My need for comfort had enticed him so much one day when he just snapped.
And me feeling guilty for doing so, I Innocently asked,
Craving comfort and security, how was I supposed to know?
I'm sorry, that really wasn't my intention.  

He started smirking as he said,
"You really like attention.
Your teasing doesn't pay the bill.
One day you won't be able to shut me out.
And those doors won't stop me from getting in.
Is that so difficult to comprehend?", he threatened.

I was a token of your humor.
I was your stupid little fool.
I was nothing but your prisoner.
I meant absolutely nothing at all to you.
I was stuck within your sheets.
Unable to move forward.
There was nowhere else to fall.
As I was screaming silently, you made me realize
the meaning of nothing meant me.

If I had known all along, that I was backed against the wall,
I would have never wrote this poem.
And I would have fought harder than just screaming, that this feels wrong I think we should stop.
W Winchester Apr 2016
No, I wasn't drinking
Yes, I was dressed "provocatively"

No, I didn't come on to him
I didn't say he could touch me
No, I wasn't giving him "bedroom eyes"
No, I didn't lead him on

Yes, I shared a cab with him
No, I didn't say he could put his hands on me
Yes, I was naive
No, I didn't say I wanted to put my hand or my head in his lap
No, I didn't ask the taxi driver to help me
No, I didn't refuse to let him put his fingers in me

No, I didn't tell him I wanted to go home then
Yes, I let him take me to his apartment
Yes, I let him take my clothes off
Yes, I let him inside me
No, he didn't use a ******
Yes, I took a morning after pill

Yes, I regret it

But he didn't ask,
so I didn't say no
I'm in a bad place, okay?
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