Make her your *****.
She'll grow dependent.
Feed her nutrients.
She'll be resplendent.

Membranes seal her in.
What a perfect fit!
My diagnosis:
Willing to submit.

I am dressed in a gown
A blue paper gown
With the ribbons tied at the front

A crepe paper gown
Open at the front
The kind you scrunch and fist into gift bags
Crepe paper, but thicker, like asking the deli man for a bigger slice

But the white deli paper is folded over my lap
A big paper towel, a napkin

Eyes locked in a mirror made of your soul Looking far back into your mind Your body not what you wish to be Your identity something constantly changing As you ask yourself who you are  As you ask yourself where to go As you ask yourself to become something other than. Wearing what reveals for attention of others eyes. Shamed into doing things that destroy the innocence of you. Stuck on an unending path to self demise, twisting and turning down a darkness that grabs onto you as if these reaching hands could be your salvation. In hope you do reach to them only to be thrown in a puddle of your own tears and blood.

Times have changed, people have not
so I read, shelf after shelf in many languages
in books preserved for centuries
so self-evidently describing
the world as it once was

In the evening I experience their adventures
at night I dream of them, every day
they colour my body in a different way

my body longing
to be touched
and to lie eye to eye
longing for the embrace
of arms and a laugh

for sounds and smells
for the cold and the fire
of love

Are you looking at the curve
below my navel, do you want
to expose me there?

... You're reserved
... and won't come any closer
... to my breath, my question

Is something burning inside you
is it blazing, is it smouldering
or should I light it?

... I don't smell you, no scent
... that excites a woman
... in her belly, in her heart

Don't you know what you want
with me, after today?
Can't you be honest

with yourself
and live relaxed
according to your ideals?

guilt and shame
eating to blame
lack of control
lack of tame
the food comes in
the fat puffs out
if only cold turkey
didn’t sound so good right now