I watch them drift gently back toward the shore, hands intertwined. "So, this plan of yours...You start with avoiding him?" I sit silent for a moment, listening to the licorice kisses, and when I look over, there's genuine sympathy to think about him as a regular person, and not feeling the sun seep all the way into my soul. It's like watching dragonflies buzz, and just like that, I see the clutter for what it really is. They're memories, and once he's gone, they're all I have left of him.

(j.a.r.)

echoes
land                                 moving
           somewhere
tied                                  to
              ­                                     morning mist.

morning,
                         she's
string


             that
  

                    nothing
is          two
                   bottles

of linen

               But, whiskey-----

The feeling is lead.
Stubborn,
It sits in my chest.
I remind myself
Not to dare name it.
I remind myself:
If you name it,
It becomes real.
Suddenly, people will see it.
Label you for it.
It will define you.

I ignore it
When I can.
Suppressing him
As best as possible.
Still, he manages to
Shrink me.
******* me.

He strains my knees.
Curves my back.
Hangs below my eyes.
I plead with him.
Beg him.
Try to compromise.
But this thing is
Deaf,
Dumb,
Simple—
He is oblivious.

He lacks understanding.
Incessantly, he fails
To recognize
My pain;
Perpetual discomfort.
Unaware, he forces me;
Knees ******,
Crawling to my vices.

Frequently
I drown him.
Hold his head low.
Well at the bottom of the
***** reservoir
That accumulates
Each night in my gut—
I drink one
After the next.
My hand never
Leaves the glass;
If I can help it,
The glass never
Leave my lips.
Until finally my world—
Our world
Falls below the, thick, black,
***** soaked veil.


Often
I choke him;
With thick, grey,
Clouds of smoke.
The clouds burn
Deep in my lungs
Lifting the burden
From my chest,
Back, knees.
For a minute
My mind isn’t
So crowded.
For the moment
I feel relief.

Some nights
I numb myself
With casual company.
Women,
Who like I,
Are acquainted with he.
For a moment
We might distract
One another—
In that moment
There’s sometimes bliss
Temporary,
Fleeting,
Transient—


But undoubtedly,
Bliss…

People do much damage.
I guess I'd say,
                           you should go.
That's probably the best we can do.

Darkness comes and clouds roll in
and thus a thunderstorm begins.
Suddenly there is a flash,
a booming jolt and then a clash.
From the evil, looming clouds
raindrops fall, smacking loud.
The big, bad storm causes quite the fuss;
children scream and parents cuss.
The TV screens have all gone black
and people find it's light they lack.