I looked ahead
and stepped into
the seductive unknown
heart blind
eyes wide open

I looked ahead
into "what can be"
and gave "what" its curiosity
"can" its strength
and "be" its confidence

I looked ahead
and took a deep breath
with fear in one hand
and courage in the other

I looked ahead
but when I wanted
to take a step further
I felt a tug
on the strings
of my heart

A phantom came to me
One night,
And told me that I must
Repent for all
The lying I've
Done.
"Throw away the temptation,"
He'd say, "solve
Where you stand in the
Universe and
Tell the truth, for God's
Sake!"
By God as my holy witness,
I swore that I
Would.

The hurt in Mommy's eyes
Strengthened the guilt that
Ate away at my
Deceitful little
Heart.

Daddy was the smart one
In this tedious war
Erupting inside our
Family. He forged
Alliances first and
Managed to
Make Mom the
Enemy.

He turned his children
Into soldiers so he
Could master
Victory; his children
Were ****** and broken
On the battlefield, but
We still had one
Last battle.
I was the rebel force
That exposed the
Truth to the
Enemy, only now I
Realize the real enemy
Was my father.

As the cover was
Blown,
She was a whirlwind
Ready to destroy
Anything in her
Way.

Even after hearing
Their screams
From the comforts
Of a corner and
As they sang happy birthday
To me with one
Pitiful candle in an
Expired cake,
I knew that in this lifetime,
Turning twelve
Wasn't so great.

I arrive at your doorstep, flowers in hand,
To surprise you on this beautiful day in June.
Your birthday, and the perfect day to take you out,
Could there be nothing more excellent than this?

I ring your doorbell and stand there for a minute,
And then you open the door,
Swollen eyes and a tearstained face.
Darling what's the matter?

I try to console you,
But you only push me away.
Saying that you are sorry.
Whatever you've done, why should I be mad at you?

I attempt to hold you ,
And then you begin to scream
At the top of your lungs.
How long did you say it was since?

I am confused now,
If you say that you eat double now,
And that you and I brought life here,
Then why should you be sad?

I do not understand,
And you begin crying again.
'It is the product of another man!'
And now I wonder why?

I understand now,
And I am frozen dead in my tracks,
I drop the flowers and walk out the door
Do I dare look back?

I can hear you crying behind me and I drop to my knees in your front yard.
For hours I sit as your wails die down,
You bring out a beer for me and a soda for yourself.
And I ask you 'how long?'

You reply with 'only a few weeks'
And to follow I ask who.
Somber, you cannot remember,
Only that you were not willing and could not recall much.

We gaze unto the stars and what a whirlwind these hours have been,
Conversing until dawn.
And everything remains calm as I carry you back inside,
Sleeping in my arms.

On your bed I lay you,
And beside you I stay until you are deep in slumber,
Peaceful and the flowers now in a vase.

I touch your stomach and I can nearly feel the life within.
Life jumps beneath your closed eyelids.

Considering the circumstance, I cannot think of a better way to spend this June day.