healing is a non-stop growth
so painful
so fruitful

a gift to yourself
you give by suffering
you give by a choice

a gift like no other
a gift for eternity
a gift no one can ****** away

there is no end to it
only levels and levels
of a stronger version

the day you embrace it
it leaves you
like everyone

maybe that is indeed for the better

four in the morning, the trees are breathing and i'm in sync.
took me forever to start liking the side of my face but i'm doing it.
the glow and the light that i see in my peripheral is a sign, it all feels like signs and this path i'm paving is mine.
the sun hasn't come up but i smell the morning air, it's a mix of grass and nostalgia and safety.
it's my mom waking me and my sisters up to go to my grandmas,
it's church camp,
it's garage sales and littlest pet shop and monster high and bratz.
took me forever to start just Being and Living but i'm doing it.
i've always liked the silence before we begin again, before we're born again.

you’ll find
someone
who’s ****
****
and who’s
hair doesn’t
get
in the
way
maybe
she’ll play
drums as well
or
maybe not

someone
who won’t
have
an ugly
laugh
bigger ****
nicer
eyes
lips
maybe she
will
be easier to
talk to
better
to
kiss
provide company
to your cigarette
maybe she’ll
understand
you
the way I
do
but if
she won’t
then at least
she’ll have a
nicer
****

If you love someone you suffer in silence

Want someone you care for to live free of the pain that is harming you

Close in walls to keep them safe from your fires

Life is then never given the chance to twist them the way it twisted you

Let that person stay out of danger's way
They are better off lightyears away

Your heartbeat is caught in a thunderstorm,
You run with a broken umbrella away from winds
That chase you with the hopes to carry you home,
And every time lightening strikes, you realize,
the darkness is only a disguise


The light is closer than it seems

hey i heard you are doing better
im glad
for you

im not doing better
it's worse


im tired of drawing lines on my arm
running out of time all along

they told me it'd be ok
well what if everyone was wrong

?

do you still need me

you sent me a post
"send this to the person that saved your life, even if they didn't know it"

im glad you're better
im glad i could help

but dear god i'm still falling apart

Humpty Trumpty
sat on his wall
bleating and blathering,
condemning us all.

"I know the way,
I'm better than you,"
Tweeted he every night
over his golf course view.

"I don't care for
Mexicans,
Muslims,
and not so much
Jews...
Well, at least not the Dems and
those on the
'news'.

I prefer instead
those painted orange,
like me,
in fine Italian shoes.

I'm the President now,
I decide
if the sky stays blue...
not the the artists or the scientists...
and certainly not
you.

I'll make this Country great again!
You'll see,
I know what to do!
Put your faith in me,
a 'Billionaire'!
I promise,
I'll tell you true!"

Hollered he up high,
his chubby fingers crossed,
as his great jowels blubbered,
and his voice quaked with frost.

"I wonder," thought I,
reading his alternate 'facts' of the day,

"Maybe he wouldn't be so grumpy
if his daddy had loved him more,
or at all,
or maybe,
just maybe,
if his fat greedy hands
weren't so
*******
small."

They told me you were dangerous
The baddest of our kind
That only with a single look
You’d get all girls to sigh

You were quite the charmer
Of that i was very sure
But what I didn’t really expect
Was to fall myself much more

I thought that i was different
That you’d also fall for me
For my attributes and laughter
For my smile on every eve

But that didn’t really happen
I got a wake up call
And while i was expecting a miracle
You didn’t notice at all

But it's ok, i learned a lesson
And to you i bid goodbye
Because I realized I didn’t need your love
To make myself fly high

Now i am much better
Im learning to love myself
I forgot all about you
And you smile in that hotel

Maybe i will never forgive you
For the tears i shed that night
But they taught me to love myself
For i'm the only one who can

I still remember those words
They told me at those times
Not to fall for a player
Who would only break my heart

But while they thought you were dangerous
And too charming to be true
I knew y what you were hiding
Behind your “too cool” crew

And i still remember
the way that i felt
The night you broke my heart
, just like they said

Although they did not warn me
Of how much i was to grow
And all that i would learn
When i finally let you go

So the next time they tell me
To look before i fall
I'll remind them of all i learned
Because i dared to try

Yet i still want to wish you
All the best i can
And that you someday find
A girl for whom you'll fall

And maybe then you'll understand
How easy it was for me
To fall for someone dangerous
While i was quite naive

I'll lend you a page from my book
If you dare to take it
Im sure youll find it helpful
With the girl who they'll call dangerous