During the course of my thoughts
A friend I thought I forgot
Sent me a portal of sorts
And I thought, why don’t I give it a shot.

Brilliant, it seemed to me,
Writings as far as I could see,
Scribbled in black on white,
Peaceful and soulful, like birds in flight.

May I enter, I asked, polite,
You may, but you may not, it proposed.
Why, I asked, with a frown upon my delight
You may, it said, but a poem you should have composed.

Flabbergasted, I sit down,
On the brink of utter sadness.
Thinking to my sulking self
What the hell do I write? This is madness!

What do you think
When I say
And when I don't
What you like
And things you don't

Say things you think
So that I can link
And try afresh, try anew
A joke on me or two on you

But say it please
Clear and loud
My junk-head is all
Smog and cloud
With silly adventures of my own
with words and friends
In times bygone

I know me self
I miss the point
To make a point
You get it?

No ; I knew it
Missed it too!!

So bear with me
for I need you
To bear the self
When not with you.

Here I am
Once again
Faced with the challenge of writing something new

Here I have
A clean slate
A brand new outlet to put myself into

A new piece to write!
A fresh new start!
Another chance to give all of my heart!

Yet
I struggle to find the right words to place
On this unfamiliar, empty space
And I slowly end up tearing myself apart

Because beginnings are always the hardest part

The trees burn eternally
In the woods where I stay
I sweat through the hellish daylight
And retreat into the night
The charred forest is my sanctuary

I see you glowing in the constellations
I reach out to trace the stars
like the scars down your spine,
I remember watching the embers pierce you,
tears running down my face, I catch them like leaves.

Born from the ashes of deceit
I've always existed in a cursed flame
Always melting away the wounds
Which remained hidden in combustion
A loud presence, never going quietly

Watch as the roots we came from shrivel and die,
My heart beats with the rhythm of a spinning earth,
Never stopping, always spinning,
Your voices tangles in with the breeze and branches,
And remembering you is as loud as when I stand alone.

What madness, the woods are on fire
I inhale the rage and I too am engulfed
Pieces of me become lost in cinders
Voices howl in the fiery storm
It's nonsensical, but they know
New seeds grow, resistant to the flame

Yesterday,
your shampoo was still in my shower,
         dream catcher hung above my bed,
         shirt folded in my dresser,
         letters and presents, tickets and paintings,
all of my jewellery stained from your touch.

Everywhere I looked was a reminder
of you.
I hated it.
And while I sat, wondering if I would ever
learn to breathe again,
you were falling back in love with toxic people,
writing poems about other girls.

Maybe you've forgotten me already.

I was so incredibly tired and sick of being upset.
And so today I threw your shampoo in the bin.
I took down the dream catcher.
I put all the things you'd ever given me,
all the things that related to you in some small way,
in a box
and had my parents hide it.
Now there are no physical remnants of you left in my life.

I said I would not forget this relationship,
not push you away and forget, like I had
with others before.
But,
even in my past,
I have never been so truly hurt
by someone I was sure was going to keep me safe.

If you have decided it is the end for you and her,
then I have decided it is the end for you and I.

Tomorrow is another day for me.
And you are not in it.

1 | 31 Poems for August 2016

Before I put my words and wishes in a poem, I put them in a prayer first.
Luyanda once told me that I don’t always have to rhyme every time I write these words down.
She also regularly told me that I need to smile twice as much as I frown.
I have been a loner, way before my peers began smoking marijuana.
Sitting in the local park or standing on some dodgy neighbourhood corner.
But I can’t judge them, sometimes I want to get lost in those same clouds too.
They all get so high to the point where they cannot even see the ground.
I’m from the city where jacaranda trees light up the streets with their purple blooms, but I’ve told you before.
Spoken words filled with so much truth, I had to reiterate the quotes I wrote back in my youth.
You need to know the value of life before it gets taken away from you.
Will you be a victim of the past or pay homage to your mother’s womb?
View the kaleidoscope of life through the perspective of a spoken-word poet.
Freedom and love are like finding forever and I hope that everyone in my life knows it.
Let’s all meet in the pages of a story where the ink always holds us together.
Every poem of mine is written from the heart so every single word you hear is guaranteed to be a pulse.
I have been a loner, way before my peers began smoking marijuana.
Before I put my words and wishes in a poem, I put them in a prayer first.
Luyanda once told me that I don’t always have to rhyme every time I write these words down.
She also regularly told me that I need to smile twice as much as I frown.
I’m Lonnie Lynn with the poetry and maybe that explains why we have a lot in common.

Tulips

Tulips under brown carpet born again
The rain provides the water makes purple stain
Watch the flower grow then peaks out his head in summer first starts the pain
Beautiful eye of the beholder like the yellow sunshine on the brightest field of grain
Tulips purple colour seem to wash the pathway along the lane
Sleep sleep travel to find things unexplained
Follow the greatest journey inside your brain
The first thought in your minds eye is never the beginning but somethings are unobtained.

Every time I got into that car I dreamed of leaving you
Heading South to a new town where no one knew my name
Forgetting the pain you were causing me
I could have fit everything in that car

I saw you holding her hand downtown
In that tiny little city where nothing remained a secret
I went back to your house, our home
Where you promised me things would change
Where we'd be a family

It took less than an hour to get everything out
It all fit in that car
I took the dog
I called my mother, admitted defeat

You didn't call to ask where I was
Where I had gone
Where the dog went
You knew

I headed North
A true blessing on the rise
With each mile
A bigger smile on my face

There was snow on the ground when I got there
I drove straight to the beach
I dipped my feet in the icy waters
I felt nothing
I felt everything

I started from scratch
In a big city where no one knew my name
I began trusting my soul again
I fell in love with myself again
I didn't hear from you for two years

You called me at midnight
On a Tuesday in May
To tell me you were marrying her
That you were sorry for the pain you caused me
How you shifted my life

I thanked you.