You’ve befriended discomfort,
Left behind your childhood streets,
only to walk down dark foreign ones.
You kiss away your mother tongue,
Surrendering to an unfamiliar one.

                      ...............

Your battles are carved into my blood vessels
and I will carry them with me
as reminders of patience and faith

I am fighting a war .
I don't run away from the war zone .
I fight !
I fight to win my fear,
I fight to win my depression
I fight to depend on myself
I fight to save my love
I fight ....Either i will lose or i will win .
Theres no give up in between .

You taught me how to grow.
Your battles are carved into my blood vessels,
And I will carry them with me,

As reminders of patience and faith.

Truly I have the will inside me
To push my chest out and bare my dignity
Like a thumping paw of an elephant
The sound of who I am beats the ground
Every thump like a chanting
Every chant like a battle-cry
Break their bones if they strike you
Their throws are soft and formless
A fog that poisons
You are protected by the bear in the woods
A massive presence of teeth and claw
Bear in mind
Conquering the battle is not complete without armour and sword
Use your sword with caution
Sparing them for when the season is ripe
Struck whence the shield lowered
You seek for bleeding
You seek for victory
Joy is in the skin scarred without fright
Victory is in the timing of each strike
The sword has discipline in its swift blow
Should not have trace of megalomania
Should win every ****** in order to teach
Lessons to heed the definition of honour
Two victors will defy the battle
When one wins on honour
If the other triumphs pride

What people see on the outside,
Is not a reflection of internal existence
Nor is it an understanding of personal grief,
It is instead a reflection of pestering insistence.

The lies that escaped and drenched you in sincerity,
The shroud of happiness, perfectionism and
Optimism. It was tied so tight, I could scarcely function.
It tricked you into a false sense of security.

It was only when activity increased and diets grew,
The feelings of inadequacy and insecurity got harder to dampen,
It was when the outline of bones would protrude through
My skin.
That’s when the nightmare really started to happen.

But by then it was too late, the damage was done.
My mind had already destroyed my ability to function
Like a normal human being.
The only way to describe it, is to say it feels freeing.

The weight dropped off; the sizes grew smaller.
Along shrunk my appetite, yet the mirror grew hungrier.
One wasn’t enough, two wasn’t either.
Three, four and five past, none satisfying enough to
Quench the hunger that burnt and just grew angrier.

To be thin is my dream, my biggest aspiration.
My goals of careers, family and success do not matter anymore.
To become overcome by it was not my intention, it seems to sneak
Up on you from the deepest corners of your mind. It takes over you,
Like a violent infection.

What I ask of you really isn’t much. I ask you to listen, to try
And understand.
I know it’s hard, but instead of pressuring me into therapy,
Maybe just sit down and listen to me
And what I have to say.

It is demons I battle daily, tearing around in my mind.
The pain is colossal, yet no one seems to notice
From the outside.
I feel desperately alone, and I’m terribly scared.
Yet no one seems to come to me, and show me I am cared
For.