In times of grief you learn some things. Here are the things I have learned:
1) your life is not over because you have a bad day. And a bad day doesn't mean a bad life.
2) family may be all you have, but do not take them for granted because one day you'll wake up and they'll just be gone.
3) God has a plan. He has everything set out for you and even though you can't see it in this moment, everything is going to be okay.
#3 is by far my favorite.

Today wasted on rage
Tomorrow too distant
Yesterday a blast and matters not.
And you?
Didn't notice me standing by your side
Even when you kicked me around.
Pathetic.
(me more than you).
Shame Is the sister of tolerance
Which is the brother of victim
And the mother of choice less
Right now,  in this precarious moment,
I've discovered how bitter true  
it is...
that we all
pay dearly
for the sins of our father.

I'm not too inclined to write.
Because my roots lie deep in soil
unmended
and highly offended by such
apathetic precipitation. Approximating that
any hint of hope
was barren.

So a love life-
one, call her wife.
She austerely abided by permanency
despite omnipresent strife.
There was simply no life.
Nothing.
Not an attempt to stick it out
past
imaginary doubt.
All when you were
all my life was about?

Days of
ferris wheels
and
tickled squeals
bring on such sweet strength.
But I can't say anything
blunted the light
more than your shadow.

I digress.

It's always been a battle
My blind past,
they say,
shows only decay.

If green is still visible,
on a day chemically dismal
remember
that still
I'm not inclined to write.

My heads blank, and my stomach aches
My cats gone, and my voice shakes

Hes distant, friends wont talk to me
Feel alone, and you dont see

This chess game, it makes me feel dumb
All my thoughts, make me feel numb

I cant draw, play video games
Im so mad, and I cant cry

This has been a bad week.
And its only Tuesday

the worst part of having a bad day
is not being able to cry it out
the day has been complete ****
all you want is to scream and yell
but you don’t feel anything
you are numb
you can’t smile cause it takes too much energy
but you can’t cry either cause you don’t feel anything
you’re just paralyzed
your heart is aching
and you can’t breathe
can I please just to cry it out the next time?

*(s.m)

"Just remember, even your worst days only have twenty-four hours"*
-10 word story

I'm having a bad day and I don't know what to do
I'm just sitting here, with a frown on my face
Maybe someone will make me laugh and it will liven up my spirits a little
Who knows? I might just have a bad day

Raindrops tap, tap at the window pane
A drumbeat for calm
They twinkle in soft light shining through
All my own, all my own stars
Crackles of brilliant blue light the night, world turned to colour for one moment
Stare in wonder
Claps and booms form a cacophony of sound
A song being played
It softens and calms
The events of the day almost erased
A lullaby so soft demanding to not be ignored
Lulls my eyes closed as I say
Goodbye to this day
Welcome the following, arms opened