We're all dead here, so go ahead
and smoke. Have a drink. Play a game.
Sleep, or don't.
****.

Go! Tear yourself apart living,
if only just to spite the bored
and the apathetic.

Outside is warm and trees
or cold and grey.
It's nice, enjoy.

I'll sit here and wait quietly.
Not just bored. Not only
apathetic, but made up.
Illusory.

A reflection in tinted glass,
waiting for something interesting
to happen.

i didnt know regret, and i didnt know how to appreciate something so hopeless until i choked on the darkest smoke you could blow in my face.

my eyes watered because i was gagging, but you shed waterfalls because the maps i gave you were too stained by things like a desire for honesty and desperation for something like a tender touch.

i led you astray, and had you of fallen off of the side of the world i probably would've wondered why instead of noticing that the mirror i stood in front of reflected nothing but a void.

A thousand thoughts run through my head
Impossible to decode
What they entail
Like trying to tell where a water drop fell into the oceans swell
If it's not a blur then its painful as hell
Coals placed up and down my spine
Where does anyone find the time to get their feelings in line while keeping the appearance to be fine
I often sit in the darkness with the small light of hope
My mistakes woven thick into a rope
Tied around the tree grown by the seeds sewn into my head
To seek help is to burden others
To be myself is to over think
I can only take so much more weight before i finally sink
Id rather bite the hand that feeds myself
Id rather drown slowly than ask for help
My insecurities speak louder than anything else

With this shovel passed down to me ill bury my heart mind and soul
My body will be left to decompose outside of the hole
Maybe then the child I never got to be will grow again
Maybe then the worlds worth of weights will be lifted