4/18/2019

Let me show you the other side,
Let me show you the way to see.
There's no reason to hide.
From God, comes abundant mercy.

Let me guide your heavy thoughts,
Let me guide your weary feet.
Don't worry about your secrets,
Through God, you're made complete.

Let me brighten your downcast face,
Let me brighten your clouds daily.
Problems aren't yours to erase,
By God's work, you're made holy.

Let me walk you through the danger,
Let me walk you to a place of safety.
You're not meant to live as a stranger,
Because of God, fullness replaces empty.

Let me carry you through the debris,
Let me carry you when you are done.
The issues of others don't define your story.
Look to God, He'll take your burden.

Let me give you a right perspective,
Let me give you a way to cope.
Depressed thoughts are obstructive.
Thanks to God, you have a wider scope.

Let me lead you to truth.
Let me lead you from the lies.
At first, it seems uncouth,
With God, wisdom you will realize.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm the last thing you want,
When you have lost all of me.
I'm rarely at the front,
You must search if you want to see.

I'm what you need most,
When you've given up.
I'm an idea, a ghost,
When will you wakeup?

Look! The Lamb!
God's thrown down a rope.
Here I am:
My name is Hope!

5/7/2019

God, stop me at once!
I've been telling you what to do,
And there's no telling what that will do.
I lack so much in experience.

I'm so demanding,
And yet so indigent,
I order things like I'm a sergeant.
But I'm the opposite of outstanding.

I want you to work for this "god of self,"
But you're more than I could ever think.
I live and die in one blink,
I can't escape - overtaken by time's engulf.

So why do I try to be,
The boss of all of you?
I master nothing of value,
I'm just riding along in this derby.

Oh God, humble my prayers.
I've always known what I wanted,
Boldly I asked of you - undaunted.
But here is one of the answers.

I ask, and ask, and ask!
But I never listen.
Now the light bulb is on like Edison.
My pride exposed - is grotesque.

You speak in a quiet voice,
Not because you're weak,
But because we must seek.
I've gotta come to you by choice.

4/28/2019

That smile you showed,
When he was left out.
Half a second, eased the load,
Brought him from his hideout.

You care for him, to the last,
Even when he's distant.
When he thought he was outcast,
You included him in an instant.

But he selfishly wants your attention,
He craves more, he can't be alone.
He'd do anything in this situation,
But his stupidity swirls like a cyclone.

He becomes like a turbulent child,
Throws a fit to get his way.
Others are easily beguiled,
But is happiness really underway?

Can the void in his heart,
Which was drained long ago,
Be filled when he becomes a bogart?
These actions damage his precarious ego.

He needs your presence;
People who truly care,
Enough to make a difference.
But he can't even tell you're there.

"Father, show him who,
You've sent them into his life,
Even though they're few,
They cut him deep like a knife.

"Let them show him his faults,
He must see for himself,
Let them open the vaults,
Show him what's on the shelf."

You see how he is corrupted.
Despite his rotten core,
Could he be accepted?
You must help him to explore.

It's not what he does,
That determines his fame.
Love sees past broken pieces,
It passes on no shame.

Overcome by greed,
Not a healthy place.
Back-stabbed and buried,
Not a way to run the race.

Overcome by pride,
Not a purposeful existence.
So much left untried,
Not gaining any distance.

He was not satisfied,
So he took a mile.
I know he was terrified,
Cuz I was he - the whole while.

Where do I search? I don't know how.
Looking here and there and in the now.
Grasping for answers I can not understand,
Failing to hear them from my fellow man.
Circles I draw in my mind,
Not seeing the harm it's caused me from behind.
Fires burn and gardens left untended
walls brought down and towers left undefended.
Not understanding why I can't hear the call
too distracted in fighting to hear it at all
Simple answer is to live in the and not ask how,
Searching close to home in the here and now.

4/20/2019

Dear Lord, hear me out!
I feel the need to step back-
No, should I go the opposite route?

I don’t know how we got here,
Promise us retreat won’t be a setback.
Your voice is becoming hard to hear.

“Turn around, do the math…
Run… Forget your false perceptions…
You are lost on this path…”

I thought it was safe,
And maybe it is for me.
But what about the others? Forget myself.

I don’t want to escape unscathed,
At the expense of all the
Ones who followed and believed.

“Turn around, do the math.
Run. Forget your false impressions.
You can’t stay on this path.”

Is is too late for them?
Will they continue to follow,
If I abandon what I said was true?

I told myself I knew,
Now my words sound hollow.
Leadership? Old fears it renews.

“Turn around, do the math!
RUN! Forget false apprehension.
You’ve learned from this path.”

And so I left the others and the road,
It was difficult and humbling-
My failure, explicitly showed.

Now I’m ready to follow You.
And I’ll do so without grumbling.
Thank God, for He came to my rescue!

“Turn around, do the math!
Run my race! Forget dejection!
My plan was accomplished on this path.”

4/19/2019

I’m too skinny to be mean,
So why do I walk with swag?
That’s not maturity, I’m so green.
They say, “Work out, you’re such a scrag.”

I should try to smile more,
A scowl doesn’t draw people.
But the outside reflects from the core,
So change is not that simple.

Jesus change my heart,
Fill me – no, overflow me!
I need all of you to start,
To erase this mood of gloomy.

I’d rather be a nice guy,
I wouldn’t have to worry.
My old image – it’s time to die.
My turn to forget my history.

I’m still worried about my image,
I thought I climbed over that!
This culture values the savage.
In Your face, they’ve spat.

I’d rather be a decent fellow,
Someone readily trusted.
I’m quiet, I don’t bellow,
This way I was made, but I’ve resisted.

I was raised to be a gentleman,
What does that mean?
Call me a madman,
Act like Christ, when not even seen.

I’m done with looking tough,
I want nothing to do with grim.
I’ll act in a way devoid of mischief,
Even if I look like a weak victim.

But going back to culture;
I don’t want to slip into the throng,
I won’t blend in and become a vulture,
Feeding off the weak, don’t make you strong.

“Speak softly and carry a big stick,”
An interesting concept.
People these days are all talk,
That they are wrong, they’d never accept.

Even when I’m hated,
By Christ, I will show humility.
It’s not that complicated,
An extension of His credibility.

4/18/2019

When I feel like hanging out,
Everyone is out and about.
But when I need to get away,
They all seem to want to stay.

God bless my introversion,
Because the other way is confusion.
I dislike the way I am,
Don’t compare me to a clam!

You’ve got me wrong,
Though at times I look strong;
Inside, I’m contorted into a wince,
Praying constantly for more competence.

At the end of a long day of stress,
I sit and mull it over – attempt progress.
I wonder why I am so put-down,
Feels like I’m on the edge of breakdown.

Then I think of the days previous,
Everything becomes obvious.
I need breaks from people,
That’s always been the principle.

In the moment, it’s easy to slip up,
And think I can do this ’til sunup.
But I am weak when it all comes,
I quickly forget my problems.

I have unlimited limitations,
It’s hard to turn down invitations.
People can’t expect much from me,
But I can’t just blame my anatomy.

It seems a daily and vicious cycle
Splurge and crash, it’s becoming critical.
Balance doesn’t seem practical,
Why am I so hypocritical?

4/16/2019

Closed off to the world,
That’s where I’m secure.
Terrified; so up I’ve curled,
Perhaps, this way I will endure.

I fear the unknown,
How can I face it?
I try to argue on my own,
But will the judge acquit?

I am comfortable,
Is that so wrong?
You call me a vegetable,
I resemble that, so I belong.

Can I bridge the gap between?
Is it getting nearer or farther?
I’ll just sit – observe the scene,
Change? What’s the bother?

In the past, this or that,
Not what I thought it’d be.
I can’t stand their chit-chat,
Talking always turns out crumby.

Who predicts the future?
None but God alone.
So I sit here in a stupor,
Apathy – now full-blown.

If I can’t know what to expect,
I might as well not do anything.
Of this – guilty – a viable suspect.
My uselessness: like a napkin ring.

If I venture into newness,
Evil surely awaits.
Positive outcomes in fewness,
I only see dire straits.

Let the world leave me in the dust,
You’ll see if I care!
It’s always been so prejudiced.
As long as I’m happy, that’s fair.

I’ll stay here and be constant,
I’ll let others make mistakes.
Fail? I’m too important.
I mean, for goodness sakes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can’t just end this here,
That was me in the past.
My pride – nothing dared interfere.
But God did, the obstacle passed.

I’ve learned more about losing,
I’ve lost more than I’m winning.
My victories, all by God’s choosing,
My choices are all towards learning.

You could me on quote, this:
“I had pride in my humility,”
A contradiction I always miss.
I focus now on vulnerability.

Because when I choose,
To choose spontaneity,
A boring life it eschews.
Abundant life, takes responsibility.

4/2/2019

To no one do I owe.
With no one do I unite.
If I begin to feel unfit,
To my image I hold.

Somehow I feel it must go.
But I'm gripping so tight,
My fists closed shut.
What do I hold?

I need to know,
Is this alright?
Please tell me what,
But what do I hold?

I fear that tomorrow
Won't be better than tonight,
Is it even possible to let,
Let go of what I hold?

It's not helping my sorrow,
It's not helping my sight.
I feel so inadequate,
Is it useless, what I hold?

It could be so,
That with which all my might-
Not another minute!
Tell me, is it nothing that I hold?

Don't tell me to throw,
All in which I delight.
It's my life, my habit,
All that I hold!

Please, I can't say no,
And return to the light!
It's wrenching my gut,
Still, I must hold!

If this is all to blow,
Away into the night,
Must I forget,
All that I now hold?

God, if you say so,
You know my petty plight,
You see that I am delicate,
Take what I hold!

God, I fear what will follow,
But you overtake my fright,
Please don't quit,
Go! You say to what I hold.

God, you are not slow,
You destroy all that is not right.
God, I can't bear it,
Now, what do I hold?!?

God, I need to grow,
Don't leave me falling in midflight!
I am still so desperate,
Without anything to hold.

Yes, my own ladder was worth zero,
And it's reach to heaven finite.
But now that it's been cut,
There's nothing else to hold.

God, make me your shadow,
I will be your satellite.
The entire time, I must admit,
It was you I needed to hold.

I am no longer hollow,
My future is bright.
With you as my magnet,
And when to you I hold.

And when you I borrow,
You take the spotlight.
I struggle, but humbly take the exit,
Oh, what now do I hold!

I sing an ancient song.
In voice once loud though now less strong.
The melody and chorus though of my own
To everyone at times is known.
In happiness yet louder in times of fear.
The question of why "I" am here.
The songs refrain passed along the line,
deluded that all its answers be mine.
But as has gone from times before,
The song will play for evermore.