Thunder in my belly
Apple cider vinegar it is
Eyes water from the taste
But I don't care
I don't care about the pain
I don't care that I'm living on half dead
I
Don't
Care
It's makes me skinny
It's all worth it
As long as I'm
Skinny

X-rays always made her feel like a model,
The doctor always taking her pictures.
She always posed.
Every imperfection, every flaw in her porcelain skin,
They refused to overlook.
They had to inspect her,
Make sure she wasn’t contagious.
“Drink this, eat that, take these.
Let us shove tubing down your throat
So we can find you another pill”
And she was absolutely sick and tired
Of all of the rules and tubes and wires
And people she didn’t know touching all over her,
Making her feel
“Better”
It made her feel exposed.
Cold.
Like she was some
******* bunny for a physical health magazine.
Her nostrils were stained with
The strong scent of hand sanitizer.
And she couldn’t keep the hospital food down,
And the shower was always freezing cold…
But at least they could make her feel
“Better”
Erasing the taste of
Copper anorexia at the back of her throat,
She’s just an experiment.

Bones,
Delicate, slender, beautiful.
Cheek bones,
That encase a beautiful face,
A glowing smile highlights those bones,
With a tint of pink.
Collar bones,
Which lead to big beautiful *******,
That are ****, and hold a head up high.
Ribs,
**** little bones, peering right through the skin
Showcasing every small gasp,
Every small breath.
Hip bones,
A product of a flat stomach,
Sharp and beautiful,
Something he can grab tenderly.
Knobby knees,
That have a gap between them,
A gap for someone to fit in.
And long spindly fingers,
Cold to the touch.
Bones,
I want to see them,
I want to touch them,
Caress them with a tenderness never shown to me,
Then perhaps, when I can touch the fragility of my bones, under my skin
Will I be happy with my body, with myself
No longer will I be the girl needing to lose weight,
I will be beautiful, wanted, cared about
Perhaps, even people will see how fragile I truly am,
Perhaps someone will look after me, finally.

She feels fat
She feels ugly
She wants to be MORE then just flat
As the days go by
Her struggle grows
She feels alone
Then, the voice arose
Said he knew what she wants
Said he knew what she needs
The thoughts her brain they did haunt
So she listened.
"You need to do what I say"
'He can help me'
She decided not to disobey
He told her not to eat
"The less you eat, the less you'll weigh"
She finally knew what to do
It worked great til the third day
She wanted to eat so badly
The pain was so horrible
"Don't you dare eat a thing"
'But its so unbearable'
"Don't be that way"
You may know someone like this
But there's something you don't know
Its something everyone will miss
Even friends and family
The person known as 'she'
How horrible it may be
Is me.