Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Floor Jan 2019
And they say there's nothing beautiful about bones
But all I see when I feel them appear more and more is pearls
I proudly parade along the pavement with veins and collarbones poking out like a sinful trophy
They are the jewels on my crown
The jewels I had to pick up from the ***** roads I crossed
Instead of making me heavier they let me hover through the sky
I can feel the storm in my head when the last bit of sugar leaves my body
Clouds appear when I stand up
Still looking for my throne I trow the last bit of nutriment aside and there it is. The end of the road shows me the thrown I've been waiting for. I've lost my body, but gained the pride in my head back knowing I can fight my natural desire to eat
slr Jan 2019
Are you're doing it in a healthy way?
Are you watching what you eat?

Yeah.. That's why I didn't have a bun with dinner.

What I didn't tell her is that watching what I eat means
watching what i would normally eat sit on the shelf
watching what i would normally eat go to others
watching what i would normally eat shrink off my body

She says I've gotten smaller
My coworkers say I've gotten smaller

I don't see it

When someone asks if I've eaten I just avoid the topic or say I've had enough

If someone is concerned I laugh and say "I'm back on my anorexic *******"
Elise Dec 2018
Bones
Fragile and delicate
Skin
Cold and pale
Sunlight
Will I see the sun?
Bones
Weighted and weak
Skin
Tighter and raw
Goal
Will this be enough?
Bones
Dusty and limp
Skin
Pealing and opaque
Finish
Am I finished yet?
Iris Naustdal Dec 2018
I’m not quite sure why I’m doing this to myself.
I know it’s wrong.
I know I will ruin my relationships.
I know I could die.
But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to care.
To care enough to change.
To care enough to turn this evil cycle around.

I guess it has gotten to the point where I’m beyond saving.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
People always tell me to follow my heart, but my heart was broken into a million pieces.
And I don’t know which one to follow.
Iris Naustdal Dec 2018
for always ruining your mood
for making everything difficult for you
for always debating about every meal
for not being the old, happy me
for not being able to recover
for making you worried sick so you can’t sleep
for putting you in a difficult dilemma
for always being sad

I guess I’m sorry for simply existing
You say you won’t give up on me, but I’ve already given up on myself

I’m sorry
Iris Naustdal Dec 2018
I’m trapped
Trapped in a personal hel
If this he
l only consumed me I would survive
I always do
But this is not the case
It has eaten everyone I love
And it’s killing me watching them suffer
I can’t help but think
Maybe if I go away
So will their suffering
And that’s what scares me
Lot Oct 2018
The goddess wakes,
with purple nails and brittle scales.
She stands,
Knobbly knees like hairy trees outstretched against their seams.
Her steps veer,
Joint’s scream while needs poison her bloodstream.
Her reflection gleams,
There’s something vile about her denial.
She sees,
through a screen but the fog won’t clear.
Blind to her sunken cheeks and pale lips,
to the knives jutting from her back,
that leave bruises like inkblot fiends.
She doesn’t mind,
The constant shakes and extreme regimes.
She smiles,
Don’t worry it’s just a lifestyle.
Geronimo Dec 2018
the more I eat the more I hate
my body someone please relate
i read about your nice quick fix
i'll stick to every classic trick
my throat tastes like acid re-flux
so why didn't the toothbrush work?
f**k.
you look at me and see my eyes?
but look again you'll see my thighs,
look again my soul is fat,
my words are binging,
my mind is flat.
A brand new verb I'll save away
just like my tears they slave away
i whisper signs among my friends,
they don't eat we just pretend
nicotine and gum and ice,
we'll cover up your thoughts- how nice
an image for your catalog,
a story in your monologue,
mono street light, mono please.
the girl fell over, hear her plea
mal monson Dec 2018
slowly i learn
to push away the thoughts
of blood and bleeding
or pills and puking
of starving and loose jeans
of tragedies to other people unseen

slowly i tell myself
ill be okay
maybe

slowly maybe
i learn to recover

drinking and drowning
slowly i fall back
maybe i cant

slowly maybe
im stuck after all

slowly i pull myself
back up
i learn to shower
and eat and sleep
and exist again

my body destroyed
more and more each time

slowly maybe
i learn to love scars
and stretch marks
and chub

cheerful faces fall
slowly maybe i fall
back

but
slowly maybe
i learn to survive
Breanna evans Dec 2018
I’ve had this problem
since I was twelve
I never thought
that much of myself
you may not understand
a thing such as this
but life’s hard for a boy
when he thinks he’s got ****

he don’t sleep well at night
he dreads going to school
he stays out of the heat
and stays out of the pool
and it’s hard to find love
when he’s full of self-hate
and he can’t even tell
when he’s lost all that weight

when years later, he’s healthy
his memory sees
when he looks in the mirror
how he used to be
still he counts out the portions
he’s wasting away
though he’s 80 pounds lighter,
he still feels the same

I went down from 240
to 158
but i’m still that fat kid
that’s filled with self-hate
but I deal with it different
than I used to do
now i’m building lean muscle
at 172

I still have the same problem
I’m sick of this ****
when I look in the mirror
I’m still seeing ****
but I guess there’s not really
that much I can do
‘cos that kind of self-image
attaches to you
Next page