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Emma Kate Sep 23
sweet and sour,

he is ******* sap

from the **** of a

talentless swine.

her sapping, sip-less, sticky syrup-

succulent, seeking severance,

his salty belly-

spewing bile, screeching,

his barren belly-

bones shattering, squelching

his bloat-less belly-

innards squished,

her hooves so unkempt-

suffocating him with such ugly, udder-less love.
The cyclical nature of emotional abuse.
asuka Sep 19
today i woke up and played animal crossing. i ate ice cream and i binged. i microwaved salt and water, it didn't do anything and i felt stupid calling it a binge. small binges count, shallow cuts count too. it's about how you feel while stuffing your face with three cereal bars at the speed of light or storing sharp objects as a panic button.

I spent the day self-loathing and wishing I had a prettier disorder. one that doesn’t get you called a ***** when you just need someone to tell you what is real and what is not, one that doesn't make crawling out of your bed an impossible challenge. I remember how forgiving people were when everyone suspected I had adhd. I would hurt myself whenever i couldn't focus and they thought that was worth a hug, mania is not even worth a kind word. I remember my ex handing me ritalin, I remember not taking it because I was paranoid about being poisoned. there was “you can do it” written on the box with a smiley face. he had the same grin as he f!cked me and spat on me minutes away. I scratched his back as bad as I could so the other girl would notice and ask him if he was treating me right. he thought it was arousing. it was a cry for help.

now I sit on the edge of the bed I spent the past few days in. it got me missing my old bedroom, the cocoon i lived inside for eight years. i sit here alone and unlovable by the standards of controlling neurotypicals, i still can't focus for the life of me and I've never felt so close yet so far from my dreams.
if i'll have to take a step back from my ambitions once again, then so be it.
my only hope is that death feels like going grocery shopping and exiting the store knowing that you checked all of the boxes of your list, I hope my grandma felt safe as she passed.

if heaven is real I hope my hym3n grows back to convince myself I was never in danger. I hope I can be something other than life's mixed, blonde, green-eyed f!ck doll.
i was made to chase dreams my illness can't handle
I stood there and took the abuse
But in my mind I let it become my muse
My veins are filled with all that you left
Venom and a planned theft.

Planned my escape to easier days
Let you see yourself in too many ways
Did you like it or did you hate it?
I knew you wanted to break it.

And so you did and when you saw me
Behind the mirror in my glory
Did you ever think I'll tell the story
Of how he truly likes to adore me?
Trigger warning: abuse, physical violence.
Billie Marie Sep 8
feeling so strong
I felt to pull to me
you too far and aloof
and in love
with your own pain
and always there is another way
other than pain and hatred
the flip-side of whatever
you are most afraid of
and anyway pain feels more familiar

see the ground open
no one falls
no one flies
nothing explains what's happening

feeling so strong
I felt to love
to only feel what that was like
in a world like this
where dreams ignite in real life
and nothing feels like it said it would
you stalked and stood and said
very little in a densely dark and deep voice
laced with even less certainty than
I felt to remember when
I knew another you before
I knew this me
and again it seems to appear

see the floor fall away
no one falls
no one flies
nothing is left from some
distant holographic memory-scape
nothing explains what isn't really happening
Mary Huxley Aug 26
They walk in shadows cloaked in pride,  
With fists clenched tight and eyes turned wide,  
Their words like chains, so hard, so cold,  
Bending wills, as stories unfold.  

They claim dominion over our grace,  
Silencing voices, erasing a face.  
What power feeds this hunger deep,  
That in our tears, their demons sleep?  

To them, we’re vessels, tools, and means,  
Yet fragile hearts wear warrior’s sheen.  
They crush with deeds, they carve with hate,  
Unleashing darkness at heaven’s gate.  

How cruel the hand that wounds and maims,  
That calls love power, masked in shame.  
How can a world still turn its eye,  
When every scream’s a whispered cry?  

They fear our strength, our rise, our fire,  
So they chain our souls to quench desire.  
But we are oceans, wild and deep—  
Rising tides they cannot keep.  

In silent wars, we fight to breathe,  
With every bruise, our spirits seethe.  
Yet even when they draw their line,  
They’ll never steal what’s truly mine.  

For in these scars, our voices rise—  
No more the prey, no more disguise.  
Though fear may reign, though shadows fall,  
We stand together—unbreakable, all.
This poem expresses the pain and struggle many women face but also highlights the resilience and strength within them.
Kalliope Aug 25
You brought me flowers
But what does it mean?
I can ponder for hours
But I still want you to leave

And this wine is my favorite
I'm surprised you remembered,
I don't know what you expect of it
The man I once loved, you almost resembled

But you haven't been him for a long while
And I know you'll never be him again
Sure, these gestures make me smile
But to say I still love you would be pretend
My skin was black and blue
At the hands of you
A time I won't forget so soon
Hello Daisies Aug 24
I can hear the school parade
I can hear the football being played
The Cheers and joy
The announcer
Filling my ears
Void

It's a strange feeling
You know
To hear something fun
And feel so
Cold

Deep in my soul
It's something
I'll never know
It's haunting
It's daunting

I want to know
The sweet bliss
Perhaps the secret
Romance
I was never given
A chance
Never more than a
Simple glance
Of a life

I had pain
I had restrains
I was detained
And remained
To feel shame
Touched
And abused
Cursed
And used
Never finding
The truth
Only searching for
Hidden clues
Trapped in a tower
Forever waiting
On the hour

Waiting for what?
My life to change
Waiting for who?
Someone who could
Remain
With me
Free me from chains
Take away my Shame
Never give me an ounce
Of blame

It never came
Nobody comes
When you're crying
Alone
Nobody comes
When you want to leave
The devil's throne
Nobody
Nobody
There was
Nobody
For me
Nobody
With me
Nobody
To help
Me

Cut the poetry
To state it simply
I wanted
What I desired
So evilly
Was to be a kid
To have a childhood
To be loved
And understood
To feel safe
And never hurt
To be hugged
And loved for my worth
To never be touched
My any man
Who's simply
"Misunderstood"

I wanted
Something everyone
Deserves
I wanted a love
With all the words
I wanted to be free
From my broken
World
I wanted
To never have to
Curl and cry
And wish
To die

I wanted
To stop asking
And praying
Why?
I wanted
My parents to love me
And give me life
Instead they gave me
A knife
And led me to believe
It was life

I wanted to be comforted
And told it's okay
I wanted to be told I wasn't
To blame
I wanted a sister
Who would stand by me
I wanted not to be told
I'm just too whiny

I wanted to feel alive
And laugh and cry
Without being
Blinded
I want to rewind
And tell that little girl
It's not a ******* crime
To ask for a dime
Of love
And a gentle reaffirming hug
From someone you looked
Up To

What's the use?
I wanted the whole world
I wanted to be Cinderella
And run away from my parents
To discover the stars
To dance on Mars
To show the whole universe
And more
What it means to love
What it means to give
And cherish
Never knowing a day of
Perish
I would have been so alive
I would have never wished
To die
Never asking why
Can't I be in the sky
Away from everything
Alone and a ghost
Because being here
Is living in unrelenting
Fear

I just wanted
To simply
Never be hurt
I wanted to be a child
Who knew what it meant
To *******
Smile
I write a lot of poems that are very open but for some reason I feel like I really let myself open up here and I'm crying lol I guess I've been denying that my childhood doesn't affect me anymore. It's August and it brings back bad memories.
The curse of the night
Is the blure in my life
The Things I took, weren't nice
They Show me a spooky sight

Scars like tattoos on my skin
Telling the stories I went in
The game I played, I will not win
It made me live in the city of sin

But this city is tearing me down
This city, full of strange clowns
And the odd beast is wearing the crown
And I'm wearing the queens gown

I tried to find a way
So I can leave the city today
But all the ways lead to stay
Trapped in the city, no way away

I hear a haunted voice
It was to much but not your choice
Now I have to pay the invoice
I hear the creepy drum beat noise

It's the army of death
I have no breath
They're comming, to bring me to the depth
To chamber of the undead

A ringing voice, hey sis come back
I looked at the door, I hear it crack
And then around me, only black
The earth was quaking and I felt a whack

My mind flew through space
I came back to my place
I saw my brothers face
The paramedic said "We have to go, no time to waste"
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