{"page": "\n
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\n \n \n \n Brooklynn Rogers\n \n \n \n \n 4d\n \n \n \n
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\n glass\n
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\n I opened up to you
when I told you what happened to me all those years ago,
I could see the heartbreak in you eyes.
I could feel your soul hurt for me while you struggled to find the words so you could apologize for another mans crime.
But I am not my past, and I am not what happened to me.
I am not glass, and I am not a delicate flower.
I'm a person, and people can heal.
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\n \n #abuse\n \n #hurt\n \n #pain\n \n #healing\n \n #growth\n \n #love\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n dessa\n \n \n \n \n 4d\n \n \n \n
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\n do you?\n
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\n do you feel it?
do you still feel it?
do you feel the hand
snaking up your thigh
as you sit there
wondering why
why you feel it
why you still feel it

i hate how it goes
trailing up to my throat
it's not a joke
please, it's not a joke

i still feel my hands
pulled back and helpless
against this sick
disturbing
covered-up mess

oh, do you feel it?
'cause i still feel it

and then they shush me up
when i try to explain
when i try to make sense
of the mess
of the pain

do you feel it?
'cause i feel it
i still feel it
i might forever feel it
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\n I was sexually abused every morning as a little kid by my grandmother. I didn't think it was what it was because, at that age, I thought only men did it, never a grandmother to her granddaughter.

She would tell me to keep the bathroom door open, \"help me prepare for school\", touch me in a way no grandmother would usually touch a child.

We moved away and a few years after that, I was able to tell my parents about it. I still see her every now and then (I take precautions not to be too close to her), and have forgiven her for what she's done, but I don't think it's possible for my body or my mind to forget how it feels to be taken advantage of.\n
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\n \n #childhood\n \n #abuse\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n Quetta Rose\n \n \n \n \n 4d\n \n \n \n
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\n Tragic\n
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\n Maybe it was her smile...or the way she chewed her lip when shes thinking...or the way she shook her leg when scared or mad...maybe it was the way her black eyes looked welcoming...what ever it was, I fell madly in love with her.
I fell harder when she looked up at me bruised cheek and shaky hands...Her once bright black eyes almost dark grey...she grabbed my hand and placed it above her heart...\"I wish we met before I met him...\" she whispered and leaned in to kiss me...I obliged.
My heart broke when I heard her screams down the road...I raced to her house barefoot...when I reached her she was already dying...a knife in her stomach, blood pooling around her...I tried to put pressure but all she did was mumble loving words and goodbyes...I watched as her black eyes glossed over and her chest stopped moving...the moment her heart stopped beating so did mine.
I died as I watched them close her casket...They carried her up a hill next to her mothers grave...when they placed in the earth....I did everything I could to not jump in the hole with her...
My heart beats once more when a blued eyed her girl smiled at me...
I heard my love whisper in my ear...\"You deserve happiness.\"
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\n \n #love\n \n #valentines\n \n #tragic\n \n #abuse\n \n #death\n \n #sad\n \n #heartbreak\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n Aoi\n \n \n \n \n 5d\n \n \n \n
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\n VENGED\n
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\n Kept hearing the ticktocks,
It is time to start my little game
Eyed the prey as he talks,
Hope he still remembers my name

At the dusky street,
Where I started what is planned
Took him long to accept defeat,
Pinned him until he stopped struggling on
the land

Took my blade and stabbed his orbs
Oh, what disgusting views it absorb!
These pair of eyes, I despise
For it was used to spy on my sister's
thighs

His sinful hands, I chopped
He heard how my sister begged but he
never stopped
These hands that traveled my sister's
pearl,
This is what I had witnessed when I was a
little girl

Lastly, his little shaft
I slashed it in half
This little thing is the reason why we mourn,
For she slaughtered herself with a baby unborn

She had commited the unforgivable sin
For she was sexually abused at the age of
fifteen
I stood up to desert the venue,
My dear sister, I have venged for you
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\n \n #vengeance\n \n #avenge\n \n #revenge\n \n #******\n \n #*****\n \n #sexually\n \n #abuse\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n Alaina\n \n \n \n \n 5d\n \n \n \n
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\n it started as an itch\n
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\n my ankle was dried out from
the blazing summer sun
from the time at the beach with you.

it was the best day
but it turned so dark
so ******* quick

we were sat in my car
the windows down, breeze
flowing through the air

and i handed you a dollar
to pay for my coffee
but you declined my offer.

so i put it in your shirt pocket
and you made a joke about strippers
and i made a joke about strippers

except
you didn\u2019t find my joke funny
you never did

your face turned as hot and red
as the sunburn on my ankle
that now felt itchy

you questioned me
interrogated me
for something i did before i knew you

and you left me by myself
threw the dollar at me
and walked away as my tears start to fall

they don\u2019t affect you though
they never really did
so i run out of the car

but you\u2019re already buckled into yours
and slowly pulling away
telling me out the window

\u201cdon\u2019t talk to me right now. you disgust me\u201d

i have never felt so hollow in my life
like i could fall over and
shatter into a million pieces

i walk inside my house.
\u201chow was your day sweetie?\u201d
i respond how i always do
\u201cit was amazing. i\u2019ll tell you later.\u201d

my ankle is itchy
i sit on my bed
and i scratch

and scratch

and scratch.

it hurts more than it itches now
but i continue to scratch.

my nail finds a permanent groove

it continues to scratch.

it hurts now. it\u2019s bleeding.

but i am telling myself

that i deserve this for what i\u2019ve done.
i am disgusting. how could i have done that. i\u2019m a horrible girlfriend.

i look down and see red
it\u2019s all over my fingers
underneath my nails.

i feel

accomplished.
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\n the scar still haunts me from this on my ankle\n
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\n \n #emotional\n \n #abuse\n \n #boyfriend\n \n #self\n \n #harm\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n Alexander Low\n \n \n \n \n 5d\n \n \n \n
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\n Silence\n
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\n I                                                        if
                               asked
you                                                              loved                                                  me
        
      razor-blade                           silence
    
  the  
                                                                  blood
                    stained
                                                                              my                                           sweatshirt

left                                    
                behind\u2014
                                                                just
                                                                        a
                                                                              cutter.

I                                    
              never
                                     mattered
                                                                                                to                                   you
                                                            anyways.

           You
                                              left                    me                                                   alone
                         in
                                                the                                         dark                                            of

your                                                  room.
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\n \n #freeform\n \n #relationships\n \n #abuse\n \n #selfharm\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n Lucas Ennis\n \n \n \n \n 5d\n \n \n \n
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\n I wish you didn't drink.\n
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\n I wish you didn't drink
because when you were drunk
you never gave a ****.
You hit me hard
leaving me a pretty bruise.
It is a pretty color.
Mixes of purple, green and maroon.
I try to stay happy at school.
If my tears were bottled, they could fill a pool.
I'm worried someday that you will get arrested
and get my baby brother taken away.
Not like you would realize he's gone.
You're always drunk anyway.
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\n Ew.\n
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\n \n #drinkingproblems\n \n #drinkingwhiledriving\n \n #abuse\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n nat\n \n \n \n \n Jan 30\n \n \n \n
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\n untitled\n
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\n bathed myself in bleach
and scrubbed my skin with rubbing alcohol
when i light myself on fire
i feel somewhat better
and i have swept the kitchen floor a lot
almost obsessively
but when i walk around i still feel dirt on the bottom of my feet
i am surprised i still have the ability to feel anything
i tried drinking gasoline and licking flames
like megan fox in jennifer's body but
i am a freak and a coward so things didn't work out
still, i am used to disappointment
and i am used to hating myself
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\n \n #bleach\n \n #abuse\n \n #depression\n \n #hate\n \n #dirt\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n nat\n \n \n \n \n Jan 30\n \n \n \n
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\n black lipstick stain\n
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\n pt 1
the love you hold above my head
and the malicious scars you give me
vicious reminders so that
i'm too scared to leave

pt 2
you showed up in my dreams last night
nice to know my thoughts of you
are rotting in my subconscious too
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\n \n #love\n \n #feelings\n \n #abuse\n \n #dreams\n \n #scars\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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\n \n \n \n Alaina\n \n \n \n \n 5d\n \n \n \n
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\n Why\n
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\n when it happens, you\u2019re not thinking.
you\u2019re blood is rushing through your ears as loud as waves crashing on the beach
and you\u2019re yelling at the top of your lungs, so loud it hurts with every syllable.

they say the things that cut into you, so deep, and they shove salt in too
just to make it hurt that extra bit.
just to make you scream till your own head is ringing

then the first line is drawn.
the hand comes flying and you don\u2019t see it
you wouldn\u2019t expect it
never from someone who\u2019s held you for 20 years, who has never done it before

your mind is an empty field filled with nothing but a scarily calm breeze.
you fill your lungs with the scent of ***** that radiates around as you prepare for one last fight, one last urge

with a face that even the devil would be scared of, you yell and scream
praying it gets past the cussing and
red, glassy eyes. praying that maybe she still loves you underneath the horrible right now

it doesn\u2019t work

it does not work

it doesn\u2019t ******* work.

you\u2019re shaking. trembling. like a fawn who has gotten lost....
but maybe not lost.
one who has been left behind.
one who has been forgotten.
one who cannot be seen through this red veil between us.

the marks left behind are real
not makeup nor self inflicted.
slightly raised tally marks, no diagonal line
you hope they\u2019re gone by the morning

your eyes are glistening with the tears you know you\u2019ll receive in the morning.
your mind is a scratched cd; going back to the same line over and over again.

come morning, i\u2019ll wake up and she\u2019ll be fine. maybe a slight headache.
but no words because HER mind is an empty cd, waiting to be filled with only the best songs of last night.
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\n i didn't remember writing this until i went back through my notes on my phone, it feels like a dream reading it again because i blocked it out of my memory.\n
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\n \n #abuse\n \n #physical\n \n #emotional\n \n #mother\n \n
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\n Continue reading...\n
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