I have a warming glow

coalseced in the pit of my soul

giving rise to more profound insights

that are yet to claim their words.

I pray they do find them similarly

in days yet to come,

but the beats pass unavailed often.

I read the note she left you.

You're as cold as ice on a mountin top
un reachable
my fires lay burning and you cast yourself with curious castrations
Her lips moist and seeping the language of love
and your frigid air does nothing to cool her molten desire
you're a cruel and desolate love scape
fierce fire and savage ice
make for still waters
this puddle
is all I see
reflecting the deep chasm between us,
you refuse to fill.

she signed it-

Yours sincerely,
well past Randy.

A ring of futility

The patience game is not for the faint heart

Watching them tear your confidence apart,

Pulling the flesh from your backbone

Creaks give way to breaking

Shattering of nerves

Plucking away the feathers of hope

Bare naked and goosepimpled

The carvery lays waiting

An unceremonious carving

Beligerant twisted barbs of lies

They think they have power

They think the can destroy me

I almost thought they could too,

But as they say reputation is king

And mine speaks flesh to my bones

I pick the scales off one by one

Their pious deception no match

for my holy inception

A twisted fork tongue lays deep in its own rotted flesh

How the snakehole swallows it's own creator

Writhing in contorted panic as it's own truth flashes in its eyes

I may well be torn down every shred of pride

Only to rise a new and free from their serpentry

While they taste the bitter poison in their own sad tales

They never had real faith

And mine was never afraid of being tested

They forgot the sage old saying

Death trampling on death

Arise Tabitha and sin is no more

And nor is the serpent whom devours its self.

I have a right to discriminate

against:

The selfish

The lazy

The malicious

Thieves

Rapists

Paedophiles

Murderers

Terrorists

Rioters

Looters

And ******* in general

Whatever their race

- or as racists would define it, what ever their color.

His kiss was vacant

His stare drew ice from her veins

That no warmth pleaded could melt away

And she knew now how he felt

When she ****** him and walked away

Because love hurt more than she could say

Because his touch was where she wanted to stay

And when he asked her why she left

the tender words would not come  

She flit about like a bird with a broken wing

Too angry pecking eyes out to sing

To his tune, Because his love left her cold aeons ago

And she could not unremember it.

And while the fractures of his frozen heart  fell,

Hers had melted into a boiling *** of pain and despair

She found love

But the words would not come

Unanswered he left before she was done

He tried to say, but his words would not come

And the tragedy is, that if they were really listening...

Neither one needed to say anything at all.

Folder: DEDICATIONS With Love or Otherwise.


when good friends recede,

they try to erase all evidence of the connection.

why?

who knows.

people outgrow eachother all the time.

no hard feelings.

no biggie.

the dragon was slayed

were safe for now.

I guess I'll see you again

the next time we need to band together

in the mean time erase the traces

forgiveness lives only for the betrayal

till then.

Folder:  LOVE AND OTHER RELATED *******
Its not rocket science
the way you **** Me
Its nothing specific
Mechanically fitting 
But there is something ethereal About your touch, 
And the way you say ***** things with that husky voice
The way I choke on it while you watch
And the sincerity  in your kisses
Contrasted by your cool withdrawal
the way you pull your pants on 
And walk out the door
with your shirt over your shoulder never looking back
The way you think you've won the pride steaks.
It never lasts
always been your good time girl.
I let you hunt me down again.
Its not rocket science
I love to ****.

it's a new day and I seemed to have crushed those damning thoughts

the sun holds its new perspective over me and I see it through brightened eyes

it is what it is.

no one said to love would be with out heavy costs and sacrifice

the birds still sing everyday despite their troubles

theres somehting to glean from every shadow and dark space.

I am in love with too many gorgeous creatures in too many ways

and I cant save them all.

though it kills even to lose  just one.

unacceptable. intollerable. pittance and suffernation!

alas, to love and lose is a thing so crucial.

it defines love.

it defines you.

and all the tollerances afforded, brings no relief to hearbreak

and these are things I struggle with because they are such beauteous presents wrapped in tragic illustrations

I love the the struggle. it keeps me warm, it keeps me alive, it meters my heart

it changes the beat, it forsakes the dolldrums and the zombie-like dutiful love

it shakes the tree  and as the tree strengthens only the more powerful storms have a baring

untill the end and the tree falls over or breaks in half only to discover a new way of being.


the sun rose today. the wash of bright warmth falls over every delusion, its clear.

The kettle boils gently, its time for coffee;

just me and the sun

this is a bright new day, fresh with no mistakes in it.

yet!

Folder: Heart aesthetics


truth.

my tainted version or yours?

I cant find the reasons that I need to convince you

you cant find the words to make me understand.



I dont want to wallow in your misery, I am happy in my own

feed me more ******* and inspire me to write insipid vicious lines about you

i'll make them dance in pretty lines and force you to confess!

I will ****** you with lies and pull out my version of truth,

and you will hide from me all that you feel,

because you believe my lies are my truth revealed.



what a lovely tango!

our dance of fire and ice;

first passion and ***

cold disintrest next.



dance with me my beautiful liar

dance with the words of my song in your head

push through my curtains and find whats there

your truth or mine it seems we never care

it never mattered as much as our lovers dance

a careless tango brought to life with fierce exchanges

a slap in the face

a caress of redemption



our lies our seductions

our words are our weapons

our music is our emotion

our dance is our truth

our love, our curse.



this is our pain my fierce love,

let's dance our tango

and create our timeless verse




previous version below:





truth. my tainted version or yours?

I cant find the reasons that I need to convince you

you cant find the words to make me understand

I dont want to wallow in your misery I am happy in my own

feed me more ******* and inspire me to write insipid vicious lines about you

i'll make them dance in pretty lines and force you to confess

I  will ****** you with lies and pull out my version of truth

and you will hide from me all that you feel,

because you believe my lies are my truth.

what a lovely tango our fire and ice

passion and ***

cold disintrest next

dance with me my beautiful liar

dance with the words of my song in your head

push through my curtains and find whats there

your truth or mine it never mattered

as much as our lovers dance

a careless tango brought to life with fierce exchanges

a slap in the face

a caress of redemption

this is our seduction

our lies

this is our truth

our dance

these are our weapons

our words.

let's dance our tango

and create our timeless verse.

Folder: God Consciousness
I dont feel very romantic,

I dont want to paint the skies in pastel colours

or drape them in velvet studded glitter.

my pen has run dry,

the well of emotions draws nothing but cold

this mind wont let the heart glow

its too cluttered with pain and fears

the worlds ills have laid themselves on my shoulders

As much as I kneel

there is a nagging

I know I must do something.

I sit still waiting for a divine inspiration

or is it fear?

How my soul longs to hold

such poetic pearls within its atmosphere

To be free at will,

to cast them on to the masses

as some psudo manna from heaven

Hung on some ethereal frequency

Where  the lost wander aimlessly

Waiting for the Glistening words

To breathe new life into a phoenix

Rising from the ashes

In a sea of coalesced stars

To enrich my own.

speaking with you over the frequencies,

I often wonder what a touch could do.

would it connect me to some omnipitent source

or create an annoying buzzing tingle feeling?

I guess I dont need to find out,

but when you walk right through my soul as if its nothing

leaves me with nothing to do but,

wonder about it all.

pull my heart strings
scratch your name in my skin,
write your contract in blood.

hold my soul hostage,
lay down your demands;
crush my spirit in your hands.

rip apart my sanity,
write your inscriptions of pain;
etching your savage ways.

destroy my hopes,
your precogziance dictates;
stomp and scrape your lies into me.

defile my innocence,
your morose curiosties reep;
****** and stab your morbid *******.

maniacal manipulations claim yet another victim,
but in your clenched hands
none ever so willing,
to die in your hold

to feel something other than ice cold.

**** the wind and how it whispers your name

******* love notes all the same.

I don't want your scent to drive me crazy

I don't want my senses all hazy

you're no **** good for me



**** the memories and how I wish for you again

******* not worth all the pain

I don't want you to keep trying to  save me

I don't want to dream about you  but

i don't want you to disappear.



I Know.

I wish it was ******* different too.

Staring up at the universe

Looking for signs of you amongst the satellites

Sending thoughts, hoping you could read them

I flick a wish at a a falling star

Seems I missed again...

A sprawling wry smile marks the tone of disillusionment

Abandonment interlaced with hope

Choked with longing, and a fervent rage threatening to scrape through composure,

A quizzical furrow nudges the eyes up again

Watching intently as two satellites glide headlong into each other thier speed an exact mirror of the other and in a blink seamlessly cross over each other.

Oh what a soul wouldn't give to have that brief moment where we kiSs up high  amongst the stars in the sky.

Can you feel it?

The wind creeps up on me carrying the whisper of your voice
With welcome Warmth Your soul envelops me,
comforting.
You haven't forgotten me in this long breaking of our presence
I miss you too.
You know I won't come,
I'm too stubborn
I know what it means
Though I think of you endlessly
I wish on every star I see it could be different
But time is the ultimate master of its journey
It won't go backwards,
No matter how desperately pleaded
Time has no conscience
And serendipity is a joker
Poking fun while living through disaster
Seducing with flashes of false hope
Oh but love is a greater power
It out lasts and out shines all these trials of destiny
This life is half led
Shhh, I whisper,
Not this life,
The next
I will come for you
With a fanfare of all the colours of love
I feel you gently let go
But know you'll come again
Just as you know
I'll be waiting

For you the words did not come
they will never do you justice
the beauty my eyes see
have only wordless translations
<3

You know i deserve it,
I needed you to show me something more
Something to show me its all worth it.
But, you still defer to your usual devices
It was such a small thing,
Far too big for you though.
It tells me a universe of what i dont want to know.
Too weak to face the truth.
My happiness is not worth thier inconvenience.
You know every sickening detail;
And still.

The deepest depths have yet to be travelled in your eyes
They held a promise of a new life and unspeakable joy. You travelled the depths of the universe a million billion chances in one to be confronted by your unfolding beauty but you were inconvienent and i never got to look into your eyes and as I faded to black it was too late. Nothing could replace the aching vacancy that would never be filled in a life now unworthy of life in the eyes I did not want to see.

oh I pull pieces of love thread from my soul all the time hoping just one is still attched to you

the missing is the worst part

the gaping hole of emotions where the swollen heart overflow pours

does it go where you are?

can you feel me loving you?

can you sense the way i need you near?

awash with fear and dread.

Im afraid to pull another thread,

and still i pull it, hoping each deathly milimeter draws me closer to you

are you still here?

or have you made the unkindest cut of all my cruel dear?

will you answer?

just a little tug

so I'll know

and not worry anymore

a virbrato hug carried upon this thread of ours

anything to stop this ache of mine

I miss you,

I miss you baby,

please dont play games with my head,

where are you dearest?

Im desperately yours

and terrified alone

help me love I beg,

i keep pulling out loose threads!

Fingers yearning, burning for touch

Cool skin warming under the heat of desiring eyes

Melded from memories of midnight places

And timeless glances

Welded eyes want to give all the clues to every secret longing, yet nothing away.

An inch spanning eternity a fragile bridge formed by the heat of breath swirling invitations of divine pleasures and intricate patterns for desires filled with aching, yet wanton abandon refrains

The rare heady warmth and enveloping depth of hearts intertwining in some mystic soul ritual, as if it had been too long and naught but for the savouring of such tension like the surface of clear glassy water before shattered by the shock wave of a projectile, just before chaos and expulsion ensue,

tip to tip shared breath, aching for the finite change of the slightest touch, not a hair arched forward, not a finger tip dared move, frozen in the complete confession of a love found unforced, not chosen, nor designed by day dreams. It just was as it had always been inextricably theirs yet not for this moment, this plane, or this existence, but love, never plays by the the rules

my finger tips bleed for you

pouring out confessions

blackmailed by my betraying heart

sscraping your leftovers closer,

hoping you can see through the

bright lights and encryptions

that the vicious remains of our love

still circles like a vulture

and I, so desperate to be tasted

offer to you in this mangled mess of loveliness

my soul scratched in wretched gliphs for an endless time

in a language that could only be deciphered by your cruel love.

Sometimes tradition speaks more loudly than youthful exuberance
but change is an ominous adversary.

---

And who is right?
The loudest one?

to ******* is to know you in some intimate way
and take that private part of you with me
to mess you up from the inside out
the way you tore up my love nook
swearing you loved me all the way
with each heartless pounding grind of your
badgering ram rod you stupid Tom ****
you gave yourself away
and now we play the fuckery game.

Delicate tips hover over taut skin
Shudders then Crawling
Waves of static dance
Electric
Tension lapses without breaking
only to build up tighter
Eyes welded shut
Darkness envelops
But time lingers
Longer than imposed eternity
and yet it ends in fading
Only to crackle back to life again
Delicate fingers suspended...

Folder:  Soulmates II

Sweet, sweet fantasy embrace me with his shadow'
cover me with his moonlight passion
let me hear his whispers of love on the warm night wind
Let the light of his eyes twinkle deep in my heart
bring his soul kisses through space and time
bring us together in our immaculate love
let us each other once more find
and dissolve into a phantasm
as we leave our glittering traces of love
trailing across the heavens behind,

Trying to stay strong
But i feel so **** alone
The only way out of this steaming pond is to drain the sucker dry

Tired of swinming in my own sweat and tears
Delivering on other peoples promises that never took into account my quality or my generosity, only thier comfort in my selflessness.

I am a being like not too many others whos goodness and light has slowly been leached from my bones with no sustinance i have reached the form of a blackened stone

Heavy and compact repelling all light to the centre. This is the state of being used one phase before ashes.

Self preservation embarks on negative pressures...

better watch the **** out when this diamond comes the clarity will be blinding and the cut so clean youll barely notice

till even as a paper weight you wont find me ill be sparkling precious in anothers eyes who's smile enhances mine.

there are no more words

there are not enough reasons

there is no time

there is only life

and it is catching me by the heels and tossing me about

the thing to do is not apparent

so i fumble groping for hope as I stumble and crash into things

maybe I will find something to grab onto if I have the strength to hold on.

Ha ha! Here I am again
It's raining it's pouring
The criticism is soaring
******* I said just went and read
And could figure out why it was boring

This old mam she played ham
She played knock knack with my spam
With a sick sack fatty whack give a
Hog a pen this old mam came
Crowing poems

All around the burning bush
The donkey chased the ******;
The donkey thought 'twas all in good sport
Pop! goes the ******.

Hey ****** ****** a kiss and a fiddle
The cow entered the room
The little troll laughed to see
Such runs as the cheater ran away with a zoom!

Little miss stuffit sat on her muffin
eating her cares away along came a writer
Who sat down beside her and frightened mis stuff it away.

Two beautiful moons,
galaxies apart
Turning circles
held there
by the obligations of gravity.
But one ever seeks the other,
Sensing they are destined;
They feel the pull of the other
Through the void of spaces.
In their endless revolutions each
Counting the twinkle of the stars,
down to the one Lunar turn
when they align paths
only seconds to Tell
of a universe of love
in that moonbeam,
eclipsing Each others spaces,
their refractions touch.
Particles of moonbeams close enough
to mingle in each others high hopes,
but the universe has
its own time scape
At least as they drift,
further from the rings of their bounds
Each endless cycle,
drifts them a fraction closer to their hearts;
and on that glorious night
when their hearts collide
the universe will see
a brilliance of love
To eclipse every sun.

words through natures verse

keeps a hold in our hearts mind

perfect even when not.

the flower opens
the bloom welcomes the shadow
the flower is crushed.

Folder: God Consciousness
It seems Im lost again.

Im looking through eyes reflected in the mirror

no windows there.



I called and there was no answer.

I cut deals with cheques I couldnt possibly cash.

a desperate act.



the darkness seems to fill up my hollow like smoke.

the white mist of creativity turned haphasard dust floating in swirls of pretty nothingness.

its not evil or sad.



its hovering close by and I can feel it,

and I wonder what it is that i have done to make it flee me again

I know what it is.



hell, I dont even know why or whats going on.

I asked for a way to go there where it was.

is there no wrong healed by my right?



Sorry is a perfunctory word with a perfunctory action.

Its not enough.

it never was.



-----------------------------



its time to admit and move on,

my precious babe I did you wrong,

go peacfully into the light,

I dont deserve to have you near,

its selfish and horrid as it appears.

spread your soul and bring your wings to flight,

i kiss you good bye,

and love you so,

and hope one day we will make it so right

to meet again in a new light.

you are my biggest regret

I must let go.

go in peace my gentle soul,

I will always love you so.





-------------------------





dear love, who ive died a thousand deaths for,

I give you my word,

but my heart I will guard.

I have no understanding of this strange love.

to not want anything but our souls to touch.

I can not see you in my dreams anymore,

to do so drags my soul into darkness,

we have to pay the price of ultimate love.

I can not find the words,

let them be seen in my eyes,

felt across the ways,

I have a love so true oh how they love me I can never count the ways

the truth of proof is too much to bare.

I can not hurt anyone more with my love if it should be divided in two,

the most deserving of my soul,

has the purity of heart.

and your earthly incarnation is not fit for my soul.

the ache in my heart will ever grow as this love prospers

but I owe it to them to show,

that what we have made is real, in truth and wonderful goodness,

what we have made is a blemish.

a soul contract unsactioned

and it can no longer stand alone under the banner of true love.

I send you my warmth and pray that you will find

another love as pure as gentle as mine.

that has seen you grow, and understand that we are not of the physical kind,

and I can offer you nothing now but good will and a friendship to stand till the end of this time,

and space to heal.





-------------------------------





I hope my soul has heard my call,

I miss it so much more than I took for granted.

if you are there, where can I reach you?

I have cut down every branch but yours

yet still you answer me not.

will I have to prove as I have in the past?

let me come home please

I beg you

to the last

tell me where I must come

so that I may reach you

and show you

you are welcome home?



I miss you most of all.

The distance between us seems endless

Yet you're only 2 feet away by measure

I wish I could reach you like I used to,

You know, in the way that a look,

or a penetrating thought could

Or that soul song we used to sing

when the world seemed perfect

Where You fluttered like a moth

And I danced like a flame

When I resonated through you

And your eyes used to burn deep into me

When your touch electrified

And my kiss hypnotised

As you sleep dreaming of flightful fancies

I hope I meet you there soon

But first, stop your ****** snoring!

but a kiss would taste,
sweet lips and loving touches...
A kiss was refused

The unrighteous seek the words to passify their guilt and find peace driving it away with their actions.

The righteous seek the word to acknowledge thier guilt and wash it away with repentence and find peace.

nothing is more inappropriate
or unjust
of a poem written,
than not giving it
an appropriate title
but rather disrespectfully,
leaving it with out one.