a lady lights a cigarette
glowing red cherry
lips, puffing without
regret
a cigarette, burning
smoking, grey breathing
choking and
tap tap the
falling ashes

it is over with
a definitive flick —
a lady lights a cigarette
she can see her spirit
dancing in the smoke

this terrible nightmare of a life ,    
you call it,
is unbearable to face anymore.
But darling,
You're only looking at the world, not indulging it with your mind.
Once you open your mind and block the way everything seems out,
you will find that there is a whole world of opportunities to discover,
and happiness
is one of them.

it took 2 pills of Xanax and 6 glasses of wine to stop crying over him and it took 4 doses of NyQuil and 2 Vicodin to forget him but it only took a seeing his name on the screen of my phone to shake my body like a earthquake and rattle my soul into remission

theres so much screaming inside my
head.
making me stay awake all night;
insomniac.
your voice taunts me in the shadows.
having me remember the
terrible things i had done
the things i have experienced
should not have been seen by these young
eyes and this young body.
even though i am away from you,
i still remember you.
the happy you that was with me.
the me that was okay.
the me that wasn't dead inside.

how haunting it is to be in your presence,
your hands so near to mine.
the hands that used to stroke my hair
and brush tears off my cheek.
the mouth that would speak the words
to help me fall asleep.
the eyes that saw the scars and blood
along my fragile arms.
how haunting it is to see you and to know
that you know
that the blood continues to pour
and the scars
are forevermore.

They say i write too dark of stories;
to write more happy things.
But once you've seen the things i have
you will understand why.
why the
tears drench my face,
why the
cuts stain my arms
why there is
hurt in my eyes.
once i tell you all the reasons
then you too will hear
the demons screaming lies.

the first time i looked into your eyes,
i knew i was hooked.
you were a drug
i was the
addict.
you wanted,
i needed.
you said,
i did.
i was a puppet &
you were my
puppeteer.