She is mellow like yellow.
A halo around her head,
as swift as light breezes
on a spring Sunday morning.

She isn't too much,
but more than you can handle.
A kohled vision,
that will never see evil.

A small vessel for her,
to carry a big soul,
and enough room for you
to share with her... a home.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

I'm suffocating again
Gasping for breath
Unable to inhaul the air
That I so desperately need
I feel my lungs burning bright
A flame roaring in my chest
Desperate to escape
I have to leave.

I need to spread my wings
I need to feel the cool breeze
Rushing through my hair
I need to have the clear view of the sky
To fly to where I want to be
I can't be held down by chains again
This isint where I belong

I can't breath

Run.
I'm too close to the edge
Push me now and I'll fall
Pulling my feathers one by one
I'm slowly losing my ability of flight
Please let me go
I'm losing my will to fight

Stop it

Dont hold me in your embrace
Its not love and warmth that I'm searching for
Its the freedom that sets my heart ablaze
Not to continue to see the same face

Let me go

Dont ask me what's wrong
Dont tell me the words that you think will persuade me
Just silently stand by
And allow me to be free

I want to be alone
I want to be with me
I need time to think
I need to recover

I can't keep doing this...

I CANT
I CANT
I CANT
I CANT

I just can't anymore...

Just let me breath the air that I so desperately desire
Just let me be me

I'm going to disappear again

I’m exhausted with grey color- schemes
And copy-paste lines
Please spit out any empty words
Only speak if your thoughts have flavor  
I’m starving for something real
I’m aching for something breathtaking
Still reminiscing of bold colors
Passionate reds
Blooming greens and
Yellows of perfectly content happiness
And wondering, when will I feel colors again
Let me run through those trails with new eyes
And wade through the rivers with new skin
Help me to create joy that cannot be compared
To anything I’ve felt before
My god these days taste bland
The grey paint is peeling off my hands
Still they never come clean
My god, she knows I am so close
She knows I have every color at my fingertips
She knows because she gave them to me
And yet I choose to paint in this grey color-scheme
And it will be my choice to see the world
In vibrant colors again

Faces turned to walls

I was talking to the sky
my whole childhood
instead of my mom

I always hugged the moon goodnight
because my father
was never home at night

Walls hear all of the secrets
I slept without a worry
days seem so blurry

Where I would lay in bed
without a thought in my mind

I looked up to trees
and jumped so high
I couldn't breathe

Life seems smaller now
In ways
I can't remember
What it is to be young

My poor veins
carry my blood
so slowly

I'll soon be turned into a wall

i'm sorry i can't be strong like you want me to be.
my limbs feel heavier than my heart lately and it's hard to look at my friends without wanting to cry.
i still try to stand tall but it's hard today.
the massive lump in my throat got larger when my teachers asked me if i was okay.
because in all honestly,
no, i'm not.  
please hug me and tell me it's okay to cry.
tell me these tears running down my face will eventually stop.
tell me i'm strong enough to make it for two more years.
just less than 730 days and i'll be free.
i'm sorry i broke down today.
you have no idea how badly i wanted to fall when i stood up.
or how badly i wanted to run away from all of this.
i needed someone there,
i needed someone to hold my hand and tell me it's okay.