i sit alone,
but i have never felt lonely.
The times i feel lonely,
is when i'm in a room full of people.
i always smile,
but haven't felt happy in a while.
the times i actually feel happy,
is when i'm actually all alone.
i've always been skinny
but i never felt so,
i always felt fat and disgusting
the only times i didn't,
was when the scale had dropped.

Dear legs...
I'm sorry how i've alwYs complained about you not being long or straight enough.
Thank you for still carrying me even though i've hated you with such a passion.

Dear arms
I also wanna tell you sorry, for punching you when i got mad, and also for complain about you being too floppy.
Thank you for still helping me, do everything and for just being there, life would be a lot harder without you.

Dear ****
I'm sorry for all the times i've said you were ugly, you not being round, small or smooth enough.
Thank you for still going along and let me sit on you when i've been tired.

Dear stomach
Sorry for pinching and hitting you whever i was hungr, and sorry for never liking you beacuse you were floppy but i know it's just skin
And that's how you're suppossed to look.
Thank you for telling me when i'm hungry and keeping in all the food i eat, you work like a machine and that must be hard to do!

dear *****
Sorry for always thinking you were too small, i regret everything i've said you've grown nice and round, i'm sorry for complaining so tou had to hurry so much you got stretchmarks
Thank you, for grabbing so much attention, that id sort of funny.

Dear hips
I'm dorry for punching you and complaining avput you being too wide.
Thank you for giving me the hourglassshape every girl long for.

dear skin
I have so much to be sorry for..
I'm sorry for cutting you, and bruising you and burning you, i' so very sorry i have ruined you this much, i'm sorry for letting my emotions out on you, i have made you scarred and i'm sorry about that. Im sorry for also complaining how you were never clean enough
But thank you! For sticking along and holding my body together you're awesome

Dear face
I'm sorry for never liking you and being sad about my eyes not being deep blue or my nose not perfect
Though i thank you for
Letting my friends know who i am

Dear hair
I'm sorry i put you through a lot of heat and dying and all that but hey you're still on my head i bet i would look weird bald so thank you!

Dear body!
Last but not least
I wanna thank you for being so strong and beautifull i wanna thank you for holding on even though i put you through this much

*dear body... I'm sorry.. Thank you

I was made to love
And i was sure it had to be you
But seems like i was tricked
And you were too

You leave it alone
You're already over me
I'm so desperate to move on
I fall in love with whoever i see

I've been so stupid
Almost lost my innocence
In a ******* forrest
I thought ihad a better taste..

Right now i wouldn't mind dying
I comvince myself i'm happy
But why can't i just face that i'm not?
Beacuse i wanna move on and be all jumpy

It's our little secret.
You'll have to keep it
Feel the pain in your gut
Close your heart and keep it shut.
Let no other person in
And let the punishment begin.
Every wrong thing that you make
Will also be my mistake

I'm beginning to see.
What people think of me,
I swear it's not by choice,
But ana has this voice.
She starves me of my youth,
And that's the only truth.
This hunger grows in me like cancer
I expected her to have the answers
And she did
But she haven't made me fit

Everyone says i've changed
The people who knows me well says
I'm just a shadow
But that's not even what i am
I'm not even human anymore
I don't know who i am, what i am or why i am
But i know that i'm as far from me as i'll ever get.
I'm lost and i wanna see the sun again.
But i can't cause i'm covered by my facade.
And that facade is me... But not right now
I'm not even a shadow of who i used to be

anorexia you inside of me
hysteria is all you'll ever be.
you're a struggle
and you caused me a lot of trouble
yes you made me skinny
all with that stupid theory
but i'm gonna win in the end
even though you are my only friend

i will not die today
just have to get back what i threw away
i called you my master for way too long
but i just realized where i belong
i have my friends here
and they take away my fear

i might have been close to death
but only beacuse of your stupid threat
"you're gonna get fat"
and then we had the calorie chat
but i'm forcing you to leave
so i can freedom achieve

i liked the pain
it was what kept me sane
i harmed myself
ever since i was twelve
i was just a sad kid
that did whatever my dad forbid
i was a little rebel
that made my parents go mental
i had to resist
so i decided to slit my wrist
and even though i was loved
this depression had me cuffed
i decided to give up
and no one was to make me stop

my momma said
i can't talk to strangers
beacuse strangers
are never nice people

but my daddy
says i'm paranoid
beacuse talking to them
is the only way i'll have friends

and if that is true
then let me be paranoid
i'll always be scared of people
only beacuse of what momma said

She paints a pretty picture
But all the inks run red the picture Of a ****** battle
That's going on inside her head

She paints a oretty picture
Of a girl in dress and heels
But the mirror shows a skeleton
But still she skip another meal

She paints a pretty picture
But nobody's seen it yet
It's of a shiny razor
That makes her sleeves red and wet

She paints a pretty picture
of an angel in the sky
That didn't see the point of life
And now they all whisper
"Suicide"

Now i paint a pretty picture
It's all in black and white
Our memories and childhood dreams
Still wonder why she took her life