Your approval in ***** situations
the constant complications
between you
between me
between God
living a lie
making it by
with no self respect
I needed your attention
Your constant supervision
to make me feel special
because you were my motivation
my self worth came from you
and what you wanted me to do
but i cant live the lie
that got me by
because the lie that got me by was dry
and worthless
but now,
I can generate it myself
our 'break' gave you temporary pleasure
with the girl who could give you what you wanted
our 'break' gave me eternal understanding
of the demanding
branding
crash landing
reationship that took over my life
I was not strong enough
to see past your penatrating words
that sunk into my heart
'its my fault'
'this is normal'
'im not suppost to care'
care about the **** you put me through
you twisted my life to mold yours.
now your mold is hollow.
So heres just a little thank you.
thank you for showing me how wrong everything was
and giving me the self worth of ****
so i could grow the strength
to accept myself.
i accept myself
long lasting.
The worst part is that you dont see any flaw.
You think your perfect?
you will always be a ****
you will always be vile
you will always be a boy
with a temporary smile

I cant deal with this anymore
I cant be a puppet
moving to her every command
i cant do everything that she wants
only in her benefit.
does she look at other people?
Does she care about others feelings?
no.
she never gives me the chance to explain.
she never lets me in
she never lets me out.
it a continueum of fighting when we are together.
neverending.
like birds in a birdbath with one drop of water
fighting till death.
do us part.
this is mine
no wait that ones yours.
theyre both mine she says.
its all mine she says
truth is
it doesnt matter what i say
wrong or right
this void in my heart that will never be filled with love from my
one and only
sister.
my void is whole and ready to except her
but still she chooses
to ignore
to avoid
to disreguard
my every word in hopes to get her to understand.
this is a simple minded animal with the brain of einstine
feelings mean nothing, theres only room for fact.
this is mine.
no wait that ones yours.
truth is nothing is mine
because it will always be hers.

I feel so free,
Take it from me,
I'm finally the girl I wanted to be.
Stress of my chest,
This feelings the best,
Living life like to the fullest of free.

I'm done.
I'm done with all the commotion,
Nothing is worth this much aggravation.
I give up trying to please, plead, or promise.
Im done living life like this, I'm ready to do this on my own.
I'm ready.

You left me dead
I'm loosing my head
The hurt is too great to bare
This constant trace
Of no embrace
It just doesn't seem quite fair

When a blast from the past
Takes you by the hand,
And this airplane your riding
Is about to crash land,
Take a step back
,a deep breath and a relax.
Just remember all it is
Is a blast from the past.

Fire gave me life.
Out of the corners of my newborn eyes I could see him standing there.
My blacksmith.
My father.
My creator.
He was cloaked in black, but not with clothes, with paint.
He told me that i was equal to a beautiful saint.
Oh father, what do you mean by this? I'm merely a servant, made to represent your glory.He responds that I'm unique. Perfect, in fact. I'm privileged. Yet cursed...
He made me, He aids me, He gives me my breath.
He takes me. He breaks me. And thus comes my death.
Good sir, thank you for giving me at least a glimpse at living.
Good sir, I'm sorry for sinning instead of giving.
He has burned me down to make a new,
therefore fire took my life.
Though purposely, I am one of few,
Who has met an **ending to strife.

My teary eyes behind these happy reflections
can only be camouflaged for a moment more.
These thoughts burn in my mind like permanent engravings,
scratched on the surface. Etched into my brain.
Attempting to find the love that was once there.
That love, consuming every ounce of my body,
is even too great for this pain to use anymore, for happiness.
So my eyes continue to cry until I'm forced to forget about it all.
Until my eyes are no longer camouflaged, and my pain becomes a part of me.

I was just an old lady, I didn't know what to do.
Then my cat passed away, with out a helpful clue.
But then came a spirit to watch over me.
"I think its my cat!"  ... They all called me crazy.
But i knew the real truth, so i constently asked,
"Dear God, won't you please raise all the dead cats?"

Your skin has grown colder,
Your face now looks older,
Mr Brooks, are you dying again?
Your teeth are getting jagged,
This vampires gone rabid,
Goodbye to all the good men.

A girl named Mc Stickle
Was in quite a pickle
This girl had every reason to hide
Her lines wouldn't work
For attention, she twerked
Oh this girl, oh this generation, oh my.

Star filled night
Dancing to music from a phone
Gown and suit
Yet still perfect

The early bird gets the worm, is what they're telling me.
But babe,
The one who waits for honey turns out the lucky bee.

Bow down, there's the king
Looking for a worthy queen
Tell me I'm the one

They're flooding my house
Eating all my hard earned food
Pesky little ants

Such simplicity
Sitting here alone writing
Stupid tales for you

Old fashioned love songs play in the distance.
Hear the soft crackle of the record player.
That would be my favorite sound,
if it wasn't for you
sitting here
conversing with me.
Under the lights, sitting under a birch tree,
what a blissful night this has come to be.

Your beauty is beyond compare.
A jewel of light that lingers forever.
You are so unique, so rare.
To have you I will endeavor.

Fire gave me life.
Out of the corners of my newborn eyes I could see him standing there.
My blacksmith.
My father.
My creator.
He made me, He aids me, He gives me my breath.
He takes me. He breaks me. And thus comes my death.
He has burned me down to make a new,
therefore fire took my life.
Though purposely, I am one of few,
Who has met an ending to strife.

You are not fat.
You are not inferior.
You are beautiful.
Little girls try to be older than they are,
Without realizing they could go far.
Forget your doubters,
Be yourself
But not for someone else
Be yourself, for you.

Meaningless scribbles
Pieces of folded parchment
All together trash

How can you forgive me so after what i did?
Taking away your childhood with my demanding hands.
Loving you for my own pleasure.
I saw your face, your cry, your plead...
yet i did nothing.
Darkness consumed my days afterwards for I had ruined something so pure.
Forget, yet no accepted forgiveness for what id done.
Sorry will never portray my apologetic natures, or my thankfulness.

My teary eyes behind these happy reflections
can only be camouflaged for a moment more.
These thoughts burn in my mind like permanent engravings,
scratched on the surface. Etched into my brain.
Attempting to find the love that was once there.
That love, consuming every ounce of my body,
is even too great for this pain to use anymore, for happiness.
So my eyes continue to cry until I'm forced to forget about it all.
Until my eyes are no longer camouflaged, and my pain becomes a part of me.