If you looked at my lips,
you would not even recognize them anymore.
You once said they were porcelain soft.
Well now my porcelain has cracked and will never be put back together by your words.
But I guess that is a good thing.
Why would I want something so fake and evil tracing across my face and ruining my smile.
Your approval in ***** situations
the constant complications
living a lie
making it by
with no self respect
I needed your attention
Your constant supervision
to make me feel special
because you were my motivation
my self worth came from you
and what you wanted me to do
but i cant live the lie
that got me by
because the lie that got me by was dry
I can generate it myself
our 'break' gave you temporary pleasure
with the girl who could give you what you wanted
our 'break' gave me eternal understanding
of the demanding
reationship that took over my life
I was not strong enough
to see past your penatrating words
that sunk into my heart
'its my fault'
'this is normal'
'im not suppost to care'
care about the **** you put me through
you twisted my life to mold yours.
now your mold is hollow.
So heres just a little thank you.
thank you for showing me how wrong everything was
and giving me the self worth of ****
so i could grow the strength
to accept myself.
i accept myself
The worst part is that you dont see any flaw.
You think your perfect?
you will always be a ****
you will always be vile
you will always be a boy
with a temporary smile
Did not go back and edit, so sorry for the mistakes.
Are you looking for it?
Does it make you glow?
Is it the very flesh under your skin,
bones holding you up,
gushing though your veins?
yes. That's what it was for me too.
Bu then i misused it.
thought I could confuse it
No. Not for me anyway.
Better for someone else.
They took it away and now its dirt.
dirt on my face.
stained flesh under my skin
hollow bones tearing me down
brown and muddy
gushing through my veins.
the feelings gone now.
so why would you let go of it?
Learn from others experiences?
Nah, of course not.
We have to learn for ourselves.
see for ourselves.
experience for ourselves.
You mean that's why they call it faith?
Oh, i see.
well maybe next time you should hold on to that
******* feeling before the
forgotten fight you fought
is now fire.
Yes there it is.
But mine is different.
I don't have to look for it.
Open to interpretation.
I cant deal with this anymore
I cant be a puppet
moving to her every command
i cant do everything that she wants
only in her benefit.
does she look at other people?
Does she care about others feelings?
she never gives me the chance to explain.
she never lets me in
she never lets me out.
it a continueum of fighting when we are together.
like birds in a birdbath with one drop of water
fighting till death.
do us part.
this is mine
no wait that ones yours.
theyre both mine she says.
its all mine she says
it doesnt matter what i say
wrong or right
this void in my heart that will never be filled with love from my
one and only
my void is whole and ready to except her
but still she chooses
my every word in hopes to get her to understand.
this is a simple minded animal with the brain of einstine
feelings mean nothing, theres only room for fact.
this is mine.
no wait that ones yours.
truth is nothing is mine
because it will always be hers.
Did not spend much time editing because it was sudden feeling.
I feel so free,
Take it from me,
I'm finally the girl I wanted to be.
Stress of my chest,
This feelings the best,
Living life like to the fullest of free.
They're misty eyes begin to bleed,
As they look upon one who will lead.
His hot hands complete this deed,
Enforces pain on those who concede,
Making life hell for those who succeed.
This life is now guaranteed.
So everyone now has finally agreed,
The devil has landed and is ready to exceed.
I'm done with all the commotion,
Nothing is worth this much aggravation.
I give up trying to please, plead, or promise.
Im done living life like this, I'm ready to do this on my own.