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All I ever wanted
all I ever found
Clouds of agony
soaking the ground
Rivers of pain
inside insane
Just because you limp
doesn't mean you're lame
 Jan 2017 Shawn Adams
Lauren R
I turn my heart back to a time
when my silver nail polish
hadn't flaked off like
dandruff into the
rolling sea of my carpet.
My hand hangs over
the edge of my bed
as tears fall
down my cheeks.
I picture your face,
the gentle blue of your
gentle eyes and the gentle
curve of your nose, perfect
in my own mind.
I wonder how I ever
deserved to meet you.  
I think of your nervousness
and how I want to hold it,
arms thrown around its neck,
face buried selfishly in
it's shoulder.
How I want to press the anxiety
that fills your chest
into origami
I cry and cry and think
just maybe,
if I have cried
enough for the both of us,
that you will finally
smile for no reason at all.
Wish u were happy
 Dec 2016 Shawn Adams
We are not entitled to exciting things.

Neither sunrise, nor sunset waits for any human hand.
It simply is, and you must be there to capture it, if you want, and you can.

Lest you complain, that you have been given a lesser chance than another man.

To live your life without the sleep you need, and sacrifice your hands and feet.
In pursuit of something far short of eternity.
I call that a distraction.

On your game again, you cannot help but play again.
Obsession mixed with practice, is but a single means of expressing passion.
Which may or may not be, for you, a form of extraction.

Pulling yourself from the reality of a dissatisfactory life.
Softening the blow to take, and heading down the wrong direction.
Time and time again, for goodness sake….

This life, this journey, will always be full of such mistakes.

But to let your doubts drive you away,
To let your fear of the unknown, leech the very passion of your life away,
By means of distraction.

That my friends, is a failure of action.
A surrender to the reaction of taking a check, and spending your small fraction.  
When every day, you’d grow in spirit, if you'd only renegade with your your passion.

Staggering home after half a day, while trying simply to escape, the prior day's’ inability and inaction.

But I digress. Remember this.

We are not entitled to live exciting lives of interaction.

We must first create and encourage, not inhibit,
The excitement within others,
Which motivates them towards their own action.

This my friends, is the very nature of passion.
a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything
 Dec 2016 Shawn Adams
 Dec 2016 Shawn Adams
My fear is massive
It can't be wrapped up for Christmas
There is no way to contain it
It grows, grows, grows
My fear is a fire
It burns down bridges and highways
It burns through entire cities without ceasing

My thoughts are tornadoes
No one is safe
My thoughts consume, with gluttonous cheeks
Feeding on the pain, the joy, the fear, the living

I have been hiding behind small talk
And soft kisses
No more
I am exhausted
Why can't speaking be easy for me too?

Is there something to hold on to when reality slips away?
There are always more questions than answers
Some days I believe in solipsism or nihilism and that scares me
Some days I believe it's all just a dream
And I tell myself I shouldn't be scared because there is nothing to fear as if that would give me courage
But it just makes me silent
Solipsism/nihilism: nothing is real, nothing exists
 Dec 2016 Shawn Adams
Up down
the hill that I just keep
finding my feet
flowing but I can't stop
and my knees
lock and bones grind
breaking my teeth
forced into falling down and down
but an up comes, yeah?
do you know
when the rivers flow back
and my heart
finds its beat and the woods sing again

I'm not sure,

and my arms
outstretched towards the endless sky
I weep for the moon and mostly
for you--

 Dec 2016 Shawn Adams
I hate the way I crave the wetness of your lips
I'm begging for your touch that I'll never be given
I see you and I want to dig under my skin
Make a new home in the cave between my blood and bones

I hate the way you gave me a perfect glimpse
Then told me it's unhealthy to see you again
When the only medicine I needed was your touch
Please hold me one more time I'm craving what I've lost
boys will really do a number on you, folks
I think the last time I got a decent amount of sleep
Was when I was in my moms belly
So don't complain
If I'm a little tired
Cause I didn't ask
For life to turn out like this
 Nov 2016 Shawn Adams
 Nov 2016 Shawn Adams
A stranger - Plays with you
like an old friend sometimes,
yet shows a different shade
in its fleeting.

Offers no reasons
for its changing seasons.

Sometimes  stops
to make a moment larger than life
and sometime just flies away
like a bird in hurry to kiss the horizon.

Holds you in its warped
clutch sometimes
yet lets you kiss
its open palms other times.

Time is like a man,
changing all the time,
travelling and wandering
like a grain of sand
on the wings of a whim's wind.
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