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1.1k · Apr 2016
pavement to paradise
Shawn Adams Apr 2016
Three decades
Lost in this maze
Of dirt road
Clay and grated soil
Underneath
Grandpa's Oaks
Branches hang over us
Like the arms of Ghosts
The unknown parts in between
The cities and towns
With names not large enough to
Fit on maps
Another microcosm
Of sociological problems
The constant chaos of
Lives crashing into each other
At speeds history
Has never
Seen
Shawn Adams May 2016
We are to dance in poverty
We could have more
But to be poor
Your self worth is not grounded in their perspectives
Soul ****** into a cell phone
Cannot
Cannot call home
Lost in our digital new millennium
Growing old too quick
We try to clone those moments
Spread our systems
Destructive tradions
Reluctant unknowing
Now growing resistance
Spot of DNA is all we need
To bring
Ingredients ill conceived
Lyrics that we bleed
Smoke we'd rather breath
Than this cancerous disease
Falsified democracy
On the brink of
The extinction
The end sequence
Leaving fossils for the future to find
All in good time
All in
Good time
676 · Aug 2016
Woman
Shawn Adams Aug 2016
You couldn't blame me
if you
Could see her
Take everything I own
Set it ablaze
Taking for granted the very Foundation
Of the structure
Of my life,
Why?
Because her face
Is beyond the will of any god to change.
Her mouth conveys
The mind of an unknown Goddess
Beyond reach
Beyond reason
Beyond the repercussions of such
treason.
Beyond.
Her hands electromagnetic
Body beyond ecstasy
Overdose on her  
So called flaws
And imperfect complexity
Out of reach
Fires would have to be set
Lives ruined
Chains people depend on
Broken at their feet
It's not fair
For anyone
But her hands are electromagnetic
Her voice
Hypnotic
Her smile
Unbearable
Raw
     Excruciating
Attraction
Life altering
Magic
      In her
      Gaze
I awaken everyday
Unphased by the obstacles
Life has placed between us
This is unhealthy
      I know
But there is
Something I can't explain
Just underneath
The subtlety of her
Words.
Something beyond me
Shawn Adams Nov 2016
Not composed
And no composure
No more love for
Or sense of closure
Wont bring you roses
I attract these vultures
When one door closes
My window opens
Releases the smoke in
To the breeze
A calming motion
I shun emotions
You evoke them
Im done and hopeless
Too much of your
Hopeless potion
Has me chokin
I let go then
You just keep throwin
All the flaws you notice
Walls keep closin
Eyelids refuse to close and
Pupils remain focused
Penetrated my dialated
Heart is still broken
Your ego needed strokin
So i fed you my soul
You devoured what was left of me
to empower your shallow self esteem
So wasted the time
Forgotten moments
Some rhyme for those that may still enjoy such a thing, i promised myself, i would not sleep without writing something. To the sleepless i say hello, i suffer the same
587 · Oct 2016
wrong
Shawn Adams Oct 2016
Sometimes the heart is just wrong
Dead wrong
Listen to something else
565 · Nov 2016
drain
Shawn Adams Nov 2016
I watch all of the                    
Doubt
Anger
Jealousy
Fear
Longing
Swirl together
In bright neon colored waste
Spinning
Counter clockwise
Down the drain
I wash my hands
And exit the room
Breathing is getting
A little easier now
But what of tomorrow?
I wonder  selfishly
Follow the plan
Detach
Observe
Extract
That which I can
Extract
again
564 · Oct 2016
punctuation
Shawn Adams Oct 2016
Is there nothing else that  can be written?
Is this how this story ends?
A short little moment
A forgotten chapter
The last page of a book
To be determined
I place the last sentiments of punctuation
A question mark lingers hauntingly
Dismembered and torn out
I squeeze and press the paperback
In between two  classics on the shelf
There you will sit
Unrepaired
As the sunlight beckons me
To forget you
524 · May 2016
life in the works
Shawn Adams May 2016
There will be more than one book
And perhaps five hundred tests
I fear the loanshark baby
And Ive felt the poisonous debt
6 thousand days Ive slaved
Shed too many tears
All for a wage obeyed
Poverty our modern fear
I feed the offspring well
With table scraps of upperclass
They can't even tell
Their made with broken dreams
Stories i cannot sell
Worth every moment
From time to time unspoken kind
Woven fabric of ethical mind
Unbinds
And here we find
The absence of tragic
Lies
That magic of creation
That imagination
That curious
Furious fire
That burns
That
Life in the works
"Daddy, why are you going back to school?"
470 · Nov 2016
learning the release
Shawn Adams Nov 2016
Learning to breathe
Release my grip
Let go
I tell myself
To know
Is to free myself
Of any illusions
Of control
There is no right way
To despair
A muse to amuse my ego
How I used you
Because you were
There
but I,
I let go
451 · Dec 2016
meditation
Shawn Adams Dec 2016
Youre unavoidable
Trust me
Ive tried
For so long
I never was a believer
I swear I was a nihilist
All the way through my bones
But that all changed
The day I met you
I pass the time
Trying to slow down my heartbeat
learning to breathe
Calming that rhythm
Clearing the subconscious
easing into the quiet serenity
Of this darkened moment
Becoming comfortable with
The shadows that surround me
407 · Oct 2016
my brown eyes
Shawn Adams Oct 2016
It's the burden in my brown eyes.          
Gives me away
I've developed this act for you
Everyday formulating idiosyncrasies
Cool,  calm,  classy and clever
That's what turns you on
Yet,  my brown eyes give me away
I exude a quite confidence
Never letting you see the cracks
And when you pull away
I pull away farther
You hate that and I love that it always draws you back in
Every now and then though
You catch me in a gaze
I forget everything
The game stops
And there's a silent revelation
My brown eyes give me away
384 · Jul 2017
7417
Shawn Adams Jul 2017
Ritual cycle
Eat,  sleep and repeat
Fight,  sweat, beg and bleed
Cordless and bored
Can't afford a more important course
Tour the tunnels
Force the worm to sacrifice itself
Sleep away the overwhelming since that this is all there is
Ego is greedy and never satisfied
The destroyer, must avoid her
Try not to stare into her eyes
Fall in slow motion into a comfortably numb existence
The silence of revelation
The deadend of procrastination
The hollow beat of hearts encased captivity
381 · Jun 2016
oh us
Shawn Adams Jun 2016
We've armed God to the teeth
Ready to **** indiscreetly
Through his
Favorite little sheep
We rabble babble on
Never forget
The power of
The tower
The Babylon of freedom's
Worthless lie
The ignorant that curse
This land
The first to fight
The last to think
This worldwide
Disease of thoughtless homicide
No peace
        No not on your TV
No
Not on your flat screen
HD **** machines
I scroll habitually
Programmed emotionally
Can't stop reacting
Stroking that enormous
Ego
Blood flows wherever we go
Spreading that capital
Anywhere habitable
Masters of our own destruction
Racing to the end without reluctance
370 · Mar 2017
Skin canvas
Shawn Adams Mar 2017
Tear away my skin from you
Was a habitual dilemma
Sell your skin as canvas
Still and bleeding ink with *******
I can't find the drugs
Dear rugged dangerous angel
Where do you find your purpose
Fear the hammer
Sudden thud
Reality
Ashes,  dust and mud
Clean your wings
Those pretty painted things
So you may fly
Without resistance
366 · Jul 2017
Lust in a small town part 1
Shawn Adams Jul 2017
I come down hard like a landmark targeted heart
A falling star destined to scar and then fall apart in your arms
All eyes on the body language
Words get lost in between the moments our pupils cross and become locked and dilated
This sweet fascination may be two dangerous relationships lay wasting at the feet of fate's ultimate destination
A life lived uninspired
You are no muse
Merely to amuse this ego
Eyes like green fire
A sacrifice to use as you desire
What will become of us
When we learn to trust
Lust in a small town
As we await the fallout?
Naked ring finger screaming unavoidable obstacles
Pain is probable
Alternative timeline in real time
To believe the impossible
You adjust what we must to contain this attraction
Single out distractions
Interference and static
366 · Oct 2016
shitty night
Shawn Adams Oct 2016
You use your words
To break me
And you don't care
And that's okay
I'll never ever listen
To another worthless
Word you say
I'll smile through the pain
Never ever
Let you in again
You used me
Just to feed your ego
Foolish pride
I'll never let you see through
These shitstained eyes
You've got everything
And all I got were lies
So I bid you farewell
And don't you worry girl
I'll never tell
358 · Nov 2016
face
Shawn Adams Nov 2016
You either jump
Or you find yourself one day
Wiping the bitter
Regret from your wrinkled
Lifeless face
Still wondering
If she would
Have been
Waiting there
With the rest of her life
Stuffed in a suitcase
Waiting to take your hand
To where ever your entangled
Fates would lead
341 · Nov 2016
song
Shawn Adams Nov 2016
Another night of liquor
A bottle gone to my despair
of drowning out the thoughts with music
That **** the silent air
She knows somethings wrong
She knows im weak in spirit
She hears it in the songs
She reads it in the lyric
Another day of duty done
The bills are paid in vain
My brother says just carry on
So i carry on again
I write another drunken prose
With words so simple i compose
A verse, a curse, a wishful spell
To break the monotony of this hell
Nothing special
Just a mess ive made
Another song
For another day
340 · Apr 2016
usual muse
Shawn Adams Apr 2016
Lost minds
To the TV
Repeat tagline
Catchphrases
Disease
Internet ignorance interconnected
The polls are open
We've already projected
The results are close
But the people have selected
The next war monger
Mongrel
Expect
Death, secrecy
Lies
And hunger
The people of an
Invisible god are
So easily bought
Yet they give away so much
Sacrifice any inner peace
For their own sense of
Power and security
All the while still
On their knees
Waiting,
Praying
Voting
For their inner beast
This is the hell we seek
We speak in tongues and
Cheeks
The dumb will speak
Repeating these decrees
Segregation
Congregation
Separation
Modern nation
From the pulpits
And stages
They feel safe
When all their
Fear is in cages
And say they
Trust in the one
The god is a gun
Cruel religion
And a senseless vision
Evolution of the
Human conditions
Stuck in rendition
337 · Oct 2016
Lucid, The Year 2416
Shawn Adams Oct 2016
I found myself lost on a familiar street full of merchants peddling corporate goods.  Many of the people seemed injured,  possibly handicapped from birth. Finally a familiar face appeared in the crowd. "Carl" I said, "What day is it?" "Monday or Tuesday" he replied Looking exhausted like a soldier fresh from battle. "Well, what time is it, where am I?" I questioned further.  "The city of Charlotte, at The End of California." He replied.  "The year 2416." My next question escaped my lips with a sudden desperation. "Where is Serena? I have to find her!" "She stays over by the TV station." He replied.  "Where is that?" I asked.  "I don't know man,  I don't know." He vanished into the crowd.  
         I must have stumbled into a vortex,  a wormhole into an alternate reality.  
        I had a destination at least.  And as I began to question this reality,  I awakened from my dream,  wondering if I would ever find her.
330 · May 2016
addict
Shawn Adams May 2016
In this silent daze
Hypnotized by life's repetitious ways
Fallen into this helpless pattern
I'm the addict
I'm the disaster
I'm the habit
It is my master
I fastened to my skin
Empty visions of distraction
To help keep me from slipping in
To the same painful routine
Night's sleepless
Days without dreams
313 · Nov 2016
My English professor
Shawn Adams Nov 2016
My English Professor says that I am not that good of a writer. I should have known by all the garbage I lugged around with me. Espousing it here and there. Trying to lighten the load. It's better to accept it I suppose. Not everything can be good. It'***** and miss. If I throw enough **** at the wall some of it is bound to stick. He said, "You can only be as good as the stuff you read." Maybe I should read more good ****. Any suggestions? I like to read Bukowski. He says Bukowski is trash. I really don't care what he thinks. I'll be happy with a C. And hopefully, a degree one day. He reads The New York Times and rambles on about politics. I read trash and I don't talk very much. I'm too busy thinking about liquor and women. Usually one at a time or one in particular. I work, go to school and come home to play mediocre superdad or distant husband. I wonder if I'll get that degree. I wonder if I even really care anymore. And if not, then why? Maybe there is some fateful reason for all this. That's what people like to say, "Everything happens for a reason." It sure feels good to think like that. Seems that way.
313 · Oct 2016
tight warm embrace
Shawn Adams Oct 2016
Reaching strangers through unseen signals
Less than I expell
Character error
Flawed
No scratches
Claws
Imagine digging deep
Into my back
Tangle flesh
Embracing sin
Time spent alive
Like god
And goddess
Creators
Crashing minds
Through the shadowed
Sweet night
Steal the time
Before history decays
The possibilities
310 · Apr 2016
no gardens
Shawn Adams Apr 2016
I shredded my notebooks
Or burned them
I wrapped the past
In plastic
For your protection
It's better to keep such things
Inside
You were right about
What I write about
Too real
Too hard to read
Or to ugly to see
To think about
Those words
Crawled out of place
From my mind
To my hand
To your face
I have no meadows
Or gardens to show you
In here it's never Autumn
The lights are all out
The nights are attacked with regret
Sleep is my escape
308 · Apr 2016
worthy of such affairs
Shawn Adams Apr 2016
She hides
Underneath
The blackness
Of the spaces in between
Galaxies
I await her
On hopeless knees
Whispered forgotten truths
Escape the prison of my doubt
Shackled to these memories of you
I cannot disavow
There's no time for a crime
Like this tonight
I drive
In no direction
Ignoring your reflection
In the rear view mirror
And I ponder lonely
As I drive away this
Fading daylight
Who am I to say
You're worthy of
Such affairs
I'm going nowhere
Staying there
Shouldn't leave you melting
No confession
No crime
We are posessions
We are destined
To rot in time
A plot
Unresponsive
A godless life
I stopped and called you and lied
It's just that easy
For emotions to die
306 · May 2016
demons
Shawn Adams May 2016
I pretend I'm human
Succumbed to the illusion
Escape the web
Before we regret
I walk a fine line
Not just imagined
But one quite defined
My eyes turned inside
Worst feeling of my life
The truth is I hide
Right before your eyes
I've been kissing demons on their foreheads
I've been commiserating
Ive been wasting time
I've been dying
Sleepless in the night
I've been penetrating
Insensitive sins
Indifferent useless
Pens
That will not bleed in the order I need them
They simply stab at the future
prey
They feel something
300 · Oct 2016
bread winner
Shawn Adams Oct 2016
All I've been wittled down to
is your survival tool
298 · May 2016
carving
Shawn Adams May 2016
I never felt comfortable
A stranger
Born at the wrong time
In the wrong place
An identity
Anonymous in the chaos
of my thoughts
I found a knife
And I found this rock
And then I began to cut off
All the ugly parts
that I didn't like
And there was little left
when I was done
295 · Apr 2016
Mondays eating at my soul
Shawn Adams Apr 2016
I wake up slow
Clenched jaw
Face muscles don't respond
When I tell them to smile
What will I do when this goes wrong
What will I say
When they realize
I don't belong
293 · Apr 2016
journal
Shawn Adams Apr 2016
Born Words
The white skin of this
Newly acquired messenger
Fresh and waiting for the ink
Of my needle
Vibrates on subatomic level
As I tattoo new verses
I ache like the old man
Collection of heartbreak
Inviting beaten bones
Along this singular path
Of dissolution
I'm awaited
Crowded
Needed and exposed
A quite life
Where the sounds in my head
Are becoming harder, louder
By each syllable of thought
I struggle to deprogram
It must be done to grow
To live
To breathe air that doesn't burn
To hear clearly that voice
That is not
Unlike my own
292 · Apr 2016
drive
Shawn Adams Apr 2016
I misrepresent the evidence
She smiles
Like an atom bomb
Waiting in The catacombs
What am I dying from
I contemplate which road to take
Her hands between my thighs
I drive
Disregard the gods
Warning
All the passers by
292 · Sep 2016
wormhole
Shawn Adams Sep 2016
The fever seems to be fading
There's a new calmness
soon to set in
I shot my self out into the chaos
ricocheting between possibilities
wormholes in this universe
of uncertainty
I didn't find you there
In radiant light
I merely caught a glimpse of you
as you ran away
292 · May 2016
decent beasts
Shawn Adams May 2016
Another Monday has arrived with teeth exposed
Ready to consume
Hungry for dreams
For hope
For whatever has kept me going this long
Maybe nothing more than
That human need to survive
To feed my future
With every scrap I've managed to rip away from our oppressors
With hands of treachery outstretched
A smile only fools could trust
Spine straight and head forward
I'll never show them weakness
290 · Jun 2017
The visit
Shawn Adams Jun 2017
I couldn't memorize the scriptures
Words get caught in between my mind and my mouth
I murmur worthless phrases
When my blood feels like static
Underneath my skin
Seventeen Sundays and you come to visit me
It's always been too hot here for you
But I've always felt safe next to the fire
A wave of silence between us
Always comes crashing in
Drowning everything that could have been
273 · Jun 2016
grace
Shawn Adams Jun 2016
I can't help you. You know by watching me or at least from your passive glances that I'm having quite the time keeping my own head above water.
I can listen. I can empathize.
I hope that is enough.
She must have been something special.
When everyones feet are red and eyes are starred
When she is in the ground.
When everyone is lying awake at night
       hurting.
     I can imagine
  The pain.
I can shed tears for this stranger little soul
Whose path I've crossed in this life.
Why does death bring us all closer if only for a moment?
And life
        Drags us farther every day into the grip of the unavoidable end
271 · May 2016
flagrant
Shawn Adams May 2016
A light for my tunnel
My mind spirals down
And through this funnel
My eyes dilate
Chest reverberates
Inflation
Madness
Infatuation
No destination
No destined nation
It's all a lie
And now that i've
Opened my eyes
I'm hoping I can help a world that doesn't know that she is dying
Slow spin
Notice how the result
Is never the original
Intention
Sacred myths of fiction
Pushed into your children
No resistance
Now conditioned to ****
For nation and religion
False conviction
Freedoms fraudulent promise
New dictatorship
Support your heroes
They can do no wrong
No matter how they march
On the innocent bones
Hands up or unarmed
Poor or more or less
Perfectionless
Open air incompetence
Ignorance wrapped around the continent
Waving guns
And gods
And books
So devine
Modern times
Marching blindly into the abyss
Of nonexistence
With such a zeal
And admirable
Persistence
270 · Sep 2016
vortex
Shawn Adams Sep 2016
Your words put my mind through this vortex
A fool indeed
269 · May 2016
teacher
Shawn Adams May 2016
I've had my share of good teachers.
Mr. Stegall in third grade.
He taught me that a man can be calm, gentle and kind.
Strange.
265 · May 2017
Seven Sundays
Shawn Adams May 2017
The occasion called for goodbye
The anticipated day of their imminent separation
Penciled in thoughts that she could not say
A folded up love letter
Demanded closure
A slight of hand
Last time
An uncertain wave
A sip of bitter realization
From the lips of yesterday
She saw through his smile
Deep into the hollow shell
The former home of creation
To the shallow eyes of submission
Clawing through layers of freshly painted on make up
The kind of mask that won't come off
265 · Sep 2017
New place
Shawn Adams Sep 2017
Vacation
From a life
Pathway procrastinator
Advanced destruction
Psychological decimation
Can I ever come back from this?
Started with a glance
Lust envelopes the both of us
Unjust love
Infection no medicated protection
We become our obsession
Quickly regressing
Life to the point of tears
264 · May 2016
to my childhood
Shawn Adams May 2016
You were that green blanket.
I slept with on the couch.
We were poor and I didn't care.
It was the only life I knew.
Coffee mug through Television glass.
I still carry pieces of shattered aftermath.
I was the baby. Youngest of four.
My brother the keeper kept my eyes
fixed on the door. A broomstick to the window and out into the storm.
We were runaways
On rainy days
We'd find our place
Our escape
           From the storm
From our broken handlers
Bullet hole filled soul
Of our father
            Taught that life was anger
And comedy
And pain
And sadness
             Blindfolded battles of epic
Telekinetic brotherhood
             Black eye light bulbs
Putting our heads underneath the pillow
So we don't have to hear anything
Pretending to be asleep
            Watching wrestling
Like it was the only thing that mattered.
            Going to church with grampa
And gramma
        Her hand would shake back then
But she would always smile
257 · May 2017
Reset
Shawn Adams May 2017
Wasted tick tocks
Automatic hands
Praying for the white noise
Whispers to block the constant
Reminder
I must be still
And still awake
I burned the ticket
I learned my place
I used to court angels
Now I just wait
I am still
Hypnotized
By the rhythm
Those robotic hands
Automatic set
Seconds of selective regrets
Conscious continuum
Subliminal reset needed
254 · Jun 2016
year is this
Shawn Adams Jun 2016
What year is this?
The propaganda fills the brainless heads of poor human hate zombies
Their hate fueled on by meaningless
memes of reality contradicting
What year is this?
I am called white guilt
Terror sympathy
I am to blame
According to the populace
I only write fact
I save opinion for the ears of those closest
Cognitive dissonance
Behind the twitches and jerks
I shut them out
They have a voice
An orange face of greed
Of ignorance
A demagogue
To be defeated
252 · Apr 2016
Untitled
Shawn Adams Apr 2016
I thought I might have been dying
And then some good news
I'm not
Now if I can only figure out
How to live
I'm a factory worker
Yeah
I should have listened
To my sister
A dropout
Keeping droplets
Disgraced in a jar
Can't replace all these scars
So they're on display
Disguised as an art
249 · Sep 2016
the one
Shawn Adams Sep 2016
That feeling
That hopeless, neurotic sleep-depriving feeling,
That sick starving
That destructive hunger
For that which I cannot have,
For that Angel
The dark-winged one from my dreams,
You'd know
  If you had merely a glimpse of her gaze or
   You might
  be lucky enough
To hear an echo of her
Voice
She's the dangerous one,
  She's the humbling muse for
Which I kneel to the cross of
Her sacrifice
247 · Jul 2017
Flowers
Shawn Adams Jul 2017
The unexpected ones seem to care more when you're suffering
When you're like sunlight the others drown themselves in your presence
When your eyes become dull and broken
There's not so many flowers in the field
245 · Sep 2016
theatre of maybes
Shawn Adams Sep 2016
Last night i lived
I found my heart racing
Lost in the city
I peered deep into the darkness
Possibilities endless
Ceasing only when my own fear conveyed itself
But I kept going
And I found myself
In a theatre
Searching for you
And when I finally found you
I lost all words
244 · Mar 2017
Record player cortex
Shawn Adams Mar 2017
Awaken with a song playing in my mind
"you're the reason I'm still holding on"
Shaking off the blurry interference of absurd dreams
"With the vampires, baby
We belong"
The consuming smiles of loved ones
capture me in memories
"you're the reason Im still up at dawn"
238 · Oct 2016
hello
Shawn Adams Oct 2016
I cannot stop
Every morning
You're the first thought
Today I almost
Was able
To gain some sort of control
But then you said
Hello
Every day
I'm like a mouse in a maze
Searching for a way
Past these walls
I almost gained
Some sense of reason
I almost conceded my defeat
And then you said
Hello
Hope your day is well
But it's honestly hellish
Soon as I have some hope
You go out of your way to make me jealous
I understand the circumstances
Yet I've offered to sacrifice my life
Just for a chance with
Or an opportunity to explore
But you always shut that door
As soon as I turn the ****
And rob us both of something more
But I don't know how to quit
Your my last thought at night
And this is starting to make me sick
But I don't know how to stop
Quiet my conscience
In the first morning moments
Awaiting those eyes
To pull me out of focus
Displaying your lies
For the whole world to notice
Honesty resides in your mind
But you hide it
If you're waiting for me to
Break free
Without a commitment from you
Then that's an uneven bargain
But I'm willing for you
Yet you say you're still confused
And that should tell me all that I need to know
yet you recapture me in this rapture
And all you had to say was
Hello
236 · Aug 2016
nothing
Shawn Adams Aug 2016
The alcohol is helping me
To write bad poetry
Perhaps
That's better
Than the nothing
I write
Sober
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