My fear is massive
It can't be wrapped up for Christmas
There is no way to contain it
It grows, grows, grows
My fear is a fire
It burns down bridges and highways
It burns through entire cities without ceasing

My thoughts are tornadoes
No one is safe
My thoughts consume, with gluttonous cheeks
Feeding on the pain, the joy, the fear, the living

I have been hiding behind small talk
And soft kisses
No more
I am exhausted
Why can't speaking be easy for me too?

Is there something to hold on to when reality slips away?
There are always more questions than answers
Some days I believe in solipsism or nihilism and that scares me
Some days I believe it's all just a dream
And I tell myself I shouldn't be scared because there is nothing to fear as if that would give me courage
But it just makes me silent