Today you told me you want something real
And when I’m with you that’s just how I feel.
I feel real, and loved, and a great sense of pride!
When I’m with you I get all these butterflies.
I look at you and my head starts spinning
And I can’t tell who is really winning.
We agreed that it was all just pretend
But now I don’t know if I want this to end.
It’s 5am and my thoughts you still taunt
But every day it’s my heart that you haunt.
I search in my dreams but you cannot be found.
I try to scream that I love you without making a sound!
I have all of these others to occupy my time
But when I’m with you I can really unwind.
You talk like you’re ready to soon dissappear
But all I really want is for you to stay here.
My problem is, can I stay committed?
I don’t even know how you can really admitt it…
You say you still love her, but you want another?
I thought that was why we were here for eachother.
You can see us together, you’ve told me before.
Now I wish you would tell me that it’s time for more…
I think I lied and I fear that I’m losing,
Or maybe I’m just greedy, it’s all so confusing.
I don’t think I’m ready to stop all my fun,
But sometimes I wish you were my only one.

The gods let this baby be born
As a thing they could reclaim
One day with cruel delay
Boils from black plague desecrated her skin
Right before her second birthday
A lesson on how a life can be stolen
Shortly after it begins
Or how we're without hope to the whims
Of the bored gods before us

To save the last of his kin
The father implored the science
Of the village sage and physicians
He was turned down at every door
Their medicine was not meant
To save the poor nor destitute
  
Resolute in his faith
there were good gods who gave grace
Unto children without sin
He next beseeched healing power
from varied institutions of the miracle men
Preyed over by priests, rabbis, and sheikhs
He sacrificed and spent
every cent he had saved
And their churches took his tithes
But did not take her pain away

Grief striken, defeated, with no recourse
Liquid sedated in a pub,he feels remorse
" our child will join you soon,
my dearest departed wife"
a pubhand overhears him saying,
"you can still save your daughter's life!"

"listen as I entail
The hidden trail you must trek
before the antelucan hour strikes
Her magiks are only ripe
in the dead of the night
Nestled within that loury forest
Her cabin obscured from mortal sight
Resides an occultist of such cunning:
A bog witch named Blight"

The pubhand helped him to more mead for free
Unprompted he then proceeds to lead
The father through that place he now seeks
-claiming his shift had come to an end
As they drew closer to the cabin
Something happened most curious and queer
The pubhand turned into a black cat,
Scurried off into the brush- to dissappear

Influenced by fermented spirits in his blood
He pays heed to their whisper
-Her cabin door is ajar
And they beckon he enter

Now in Blight's place of power with his offspring.

"oh hapless father when you sing,
How the gods do smile
You worshipped the very ones
who wish to **** your only child
they're vile and malcontent
All they know are delinquent tendencies
They'll torture her spirit for sport,
When she dies you see
But by my incantation
That needn't come be"

"drain the blood of a bat
with deviant intent
Recant the name of your gods;
You now resent  
The blood will brew all the while
-in my elixir
When the little girl drinks:
it will fix her
It will turn her pale white
You will fear she has perished
She will stalk this earth
Forever parched with ravenous thirst
And a stark aversion to sunlight
NOW YOU MUST CHOOSE:
A dead child!
...or a creature of the night?"

The father did as directed
He did not second guess
Unaware of the sorceresses subtle gesticulations
-Were creating a hex
He's blind to machinations set in motion long ago
The wiccan pours her will into a binding circle
As the child drinks the concoction slow

His daughter's vitality returns
The plague is receding
Fangs sprang forth
as she bites into her father's neck
Blood trickles down in specks
The girl keeps feeding
And feeding

all gods once assembled to fight Blight
The powerful mad goddess would direct
her sadistic debauchery at their human subjects
-human praise appealed to the god's vanity-
Her godhood sealed by the Parthenon
in a prison comprised of flesh
Divinity bound;
betrayed by other gods
There were too many for her to resist
A former god trapped in mortal form
Blight's punishment was to simply exist

For 300 years Blight had waited for a night like this
An ancient curse she could wield
As revenge for imprisonment
Finally obtaining the last two ingredients:
A child that was pure
And a father's consent

A direct strike of lightning sets Blight's cabin ablaze  
still in her binding circle, she's indifferent
And unphased
From threats of fearful deities who see
She's about to set her nocturnal creations free
Undeterred by their show of force
she releases her two vamps
with a flick of her wrist and no remorse

Iightning strikes within an inch of Blight
She leers at the heavens
Much defiance and mirth
In the distance a village screams
As her fiends burn it down to the dirt

The Parthenon replies:
Bellowing cumulonimbus clouds
decries her decision
Such chaos;
now her scheming REALLY has their attention
The.Ones.Who.Watch. Above

See all.

Throughout panoptic thrones they peer
pained fury for this village culling:
Blight jeers
Sanctimonius thunderstorm brings fervent rain
Their vain,pious tears-
The skies can not contain

The gods cry.

"Oh, how i wonder what will worship gods then,
When humanity dies?"

Luminous surges of lightning bolts strike
Tries to smite this emboldened bog witch
...Yet, in spite of their wish,
she somehow stays unhurt...

Blight smirks.

The goth doesnt know what she wants anymore

her head deep in thought as she falls to the floor

spinning in circles her torment is clear

the blackness is back and wont dissappear

time is a healer or so they all say

but here in her head the ghosts are at play

tearing her insides and shredding her soul

breaking her being death becoming her goal

will she be missed probably not

no grave with a headstone just left there to rot

neither alive nor permantly dead shes left to wander

the path in her head.

I've begun a war, i wanna abandon.
But the love in me, the one you can't see, is the only reason im here.

I wanna defeat gravity.
I wanna be high and woke.
I wanna blow all these thoughts and the **** called feelings up in smoke.

I want that liquor in my hands and my *** on the floor.
Till i find my way, i won't take steps no more.

Don't wanna go home, cause walls gives the body warmth not the soul.

Give me words to express how i feel.
I don't wanna be real.

I wanna dissappear into the crowds, and not come out.
In my own world.
Im gonna cover up, i won't let them know.
Cover up, i won't let it show.
Cover up.....my broken soul

Like new summer wine
We were green in our time
And the yellow rose
never smelled better

But like the weeds in the road
Armadillos , horned toads
The truth was spelled out in the letter

You know some days are just fine
Others will find that your lying
But most of the time
you're barbed wiring

Well the rains came on down
Washed away most of the town
I found you boarding the bus to Dallas

You said you gave it a go
It's time to go with the flow
Then I watched the bus
dissappear with sadness

Well the high plain's never tame
Life's not long there for the lame
And one can drown in the dust
of your sorrow

You can ride on and mend
But you will never be able
to bend
The land or the will that's known as Texas

So goodbye my dear friend
You can write but I'll never send
I'll be waiting for you
at the nexus

The anxiety that builds up in your chest
Makes it harder to take every breath

The cascade of tears that drowned you in fear
You need someone but no one wants you near

All these broken promises and cuts on your heart
You're just one choke from falling apart

You embrace your hunger and eat in fear
Maybe one day this will all just dissappear

Your enemies are just outside the door
Maybe you just can't take it anymore...

But wake up my soldier, pick up ur knife,
Maybe it's time for one last fight

Open that door and let those angels in...
Your enemies will break you down, but you will never let them win

They're the reason why you're here... The reason why this started...
It would make no sense now if you gave up and departed

Hold on to that last hope,
Hold on to that rope,
These dangerous items won't even help you cope...

No, I don't mind,
If you leave me here.
There's no reason I can find
To not let you dissappear.

Sure, it's okay,
To hang out with that guy,
Even though we had plans for today.
No, I believe that he's gay. You never lie.

You know I don't care if you call me dirt.
Or when you say you're too hot for me.
Of course seeing you kiss him didn't hurt.
Yup, it wasn't what it looked like. I agree.

Honey, you're always right.
I know, I know.
I've ruined your night
Maybe I should just go.

Love, I can't live alone.
So I guess it is time
For my mind to be blown.
I'm glad that you will always be mine.

I am eating sweets like a spoiled fat kid
the elated surge of sugar coursing through veins
like kiddy *******,
zooming through  internal tubes
green lights all the way
soon to be shuddering as I pass the summit
and descend,
coming down faster then theTwin Towers

when there’s a boom there’s always a bust

what goes up will always come down
gravity is invisible and it's inevitable

a ghost hanging on your shoulders
the sheer weight of all this.

Boredom flogs me
and time is the vinegar thats poured in my wounds.

I want be on the savannah shooting lions with the sun turning my neck into cracked leather. I would shoot it without mercy or malice I’ll look it right between the eyes then I’ll pull the trigger. I’ll watch the dessert ground absorb his blood. It will just dissappear.

I am an astronaut bouncing on the moon. I have planted bombs in capital cities. I have stolen from museums.

Do I feel you when I'm in the car?
Do I feel you when I gaze at stars?
How do I know if it's you or not?
Always cutting corners you won't get caught.

Did you call me here to dissappear?
Did you call me here to dissappear?
Closed my eyes, I'm not seeing much.
Put my hand on you face to see by touch.

Did you call me here to disappear?
Did you call me here to disappear?
All you want is my money, my blood and guts.
My mind and my breath until the beating cuts.

Do I feel you near when I play guitar?
And all the other things that give me scars?
I'm running over pages and my heart is tired.
Is it just an app or should I be rewired?

If I got down on my knees
and called your name
Would you promise me that
it's the truth your saying

If I go out swimming
With the holy man
Would it be only then
I could understand?