Dear Crystal ****,
I loved you
I put so much trust in you
I spent every hour of every day confiding in you
I told you my deepest fears
I let you know how broken i was
and you ******* took advantage of me
You took everything i owned
you stole my family from under me
you robbed me of all my money
We never had a healthy relationship

From the first night i met you
you beat me into a ****** pulp
You made me hate everyone
You turned me into a monster just like you..

You dug your claws into me
You slit my skin with your razors of control
But you just brushed it off and kept destroying me
I tried so many times to leave you
I tried so hard to cut you off
But the attemps just failed

You flooded my mind with thoughts of you
You gave me flashbacks of when we were together
I heard your voice screaming when all i wanted to do was forget about you
You controlled every aspect of my mind
my body
And my life

Then one day i couldnt take it anymore
Your abuse was to muc for me
You had me on my knees begging for a saving grace
I cried
I screamed
I begged god for the light
I wanted to die
I stood on the edge of bridges
I stared at knives and blades
I felt like i couldnt continue with you
and like i definitly count continue without you..

Then one dark august night
God awnsered my prayers
He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me to sleep after so many weeks without closing my eyes
I slept for almost 4 days
Waking only to use the restroom and to shove any food i could find in my face
You slowly left my system

You didnt go peacefully of course
You paniced
You clawed
You begged me not to do this
but i didnt listen

I stayed true to myself
I finally left you...

Things wernt smooth at first
I felt lost
I was confused about everything involving life
I didnt know who i was
I thought i would for sure go running back to you
But i gave it time

I pushed through the hot and cold flashes
Ignored the hallucinations and the fevers
It was pure hell on earth
But the torture was worth every second because leaving you was the best decition i have ever made for myself

Tomarrow is 30 days free from your shackles
Life still is a constant struggle
But honestly
I would not expect any different after breaking free from the cage of satan and into the sunlight of heaven

I now hae so many things to be greatful for
I have a roof over my head
I bed to sleep in thats not jail or a hospital.
I am a cherished member of y family again
I found love unexpectedly with a man who makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth
I have my goals and morals back
I see a future for myself
and most of all..
I am thankful i am breathing because you almost killed me

Someone once said
"Dope heads never quit, they only take extended breaks"
Well, i am proud to say i never am allowing you back into my life

So thank you ****
Even though you shattered every part of my soul
I now have a brand new outlook on life
I also never would have asked my now fiance for a ride home if you had never made me so sick i was in the emergency room
I dont regret you
Because i learned so much about myself and life from you

But now i can finally say...
I ******* hate you and i will never be with you again

Sincerally:
One greatful proud, life loving forever ex tweaker <3

To its mistresses wish, the blade dances through till she has been pleased, leaving a mess by engraving the scars of death as a mark, Alike a shadow she does not crack, cavorting a masacre of cruelty,
Berserking she follows the orders, shedding blood in fountains of death and misery without chance for this rage to stop without order,
Emotionless, cold, time is for her to stop moving when her ****** devotion consumes her entirely, swaying in the dark, destroying,
Tortured with true or false everyone disappears, time flows again,
A phantom glides over the sea of blood, in a mist, scarlet red,
Observing this would cause a riot of emotions to rage in pure fury,
Her name already burnt away, as a new one was given to her after this rumpus had found its peak, leaving the mistress in bliss, joy,
Watching their attemps to flee as they reach their dying moments,
Until those who get to close have perished, nobody and nothing left,
Cricling karma surely will catch them, after this sacrifice is done,
Warm blood melts the left over snow, laughter echos and reverbrates through the unending seeming night, bells ring, it is only midnight.
In the end her loyalty and efforts, her energy and love for her mistress
Are but a ****** devotion

~ Umi

When I grow up
I want the world to be happy
Because as of now
It is not

For you see
This world is shrouded in hatred
And love can be bought

All around conveyed love is being traded for physicality

As the players get stronger
And the girl
She cried out to a diety
She doesnt even believe in

Because he left her
Broken
Bruised
And
Pregnant

Leaving her for another girl
One with a bigger rack
And ***
Even though she shook hers
Every night on stage
Baring her body for strangers

Only so when she goes home
He can unleash his rage
So she gives him her money
And he loosens his grip on her
Freshly
Dyed
Hair

Then he'll pretend to care
As he invests her money in his new Jordans
Instead of rehab for his
Crack head lover.

because he never loved her.
If he did He wouldnt be saying
"That baby isn't mine."
So he can spend more time
With the new girl by his side.

A girl who's snorting coke
And lets strangers hands
Travel up her bruised thighs

I Cant be happy seeing this world in this disgruntloed state

Because A young boy hangs up
A flowery dress in a closet full of
dusty skirts and heels

His moms attempt at making him
"Normal"

Because what you don't know is he was born a She
But she wants to be a he
And he doesnt know somewhere out there
A he wants to be a she

But they feel more alone
As their parents threaten to send them to camps
In failed attemps to make them
"Okay" In the eyes of
Their God

So he lays in bed
Blood pouring from his
Self inflicted wounds
One for every missed label
As they call him a her
Or he a she

But they don't see it
"It's just a pronoun right?"
Maybe to you
Because you haven't fought
your whole life
To be called something few
are open eyed enough to see you as.

But he can see it clearly
as he pins back his hair
and puts on his binder

What is war? Is it a soldier dying, or guns, or bombs, or crosses, or weeping mothers, or sport, or patriotism, or valor, or high paying jobs? What is war? Not hell. For that is merely evil. War is worse than evil. It is mind-boggling suicide --mass suicide-- with humankind devouring or trying to devour itself. In vain attemps to assuage some sort of weird, innate (and apparently insatiable) appetite nurtured by our true and beloved God, Mars, we will not settle for less than the "flower of evolution" as the main course, embellished by bountiful side dishes and fanciful shakers filled with the "fruits" of our marvelous hands and big starving brains. How long will we persist in this lethal nonsense? How long before we really believe that salvation lies not in an insane paradox fostered by brute and selfish gluttony, but in the far more "nutritious" and healthful viand in the sadly neglected garden of human compassion and understanding? Considering the status of brotherhood today, possibly too long.

By Jack Kervokian

Her smile is too fake
That girl is not okay
She tries so hard to be like them
But her attemps are in vane
She’s different and that’s great
But she doesn’t know this yet
Nobody dares to be her friend
She is alone and so afraid.
Does it ever end?
- S.

The Beast Within by noronradss55

My heart bleeds for the innocent
that were slaughtered. And I find
little rest beneath a full moon light.

For there Is little doubt that the beast
will once again be unleashed on this
ominus night, devouring victim upon
victim who attempt to take flight.

This centuries old curse won't stay
locked inside, not strong enough
to battle It's will to survive.When
the full moon rises my body evolves
bringing the Monster completely alive.

With little memory of It's murderous
wrath, just a trail of blood and bodies
litter my path. My cowardly attemps
to end it all have taken two many lives
and now before the full moon rises the
Beast must fall.

Placing a pistol to my temple Silver
bullet locked in, can't pull the trigger
can't stop the Beast Within.

Im fine
Wait come back
Im so very far from fine
These contacts hold back my tears
These long sleeves hide my scars
This filter keeps my sadness on a leash
And these needles keep my heart from falling apart
These thoughs , this mind always so dismal
“ Happiness is a hero “ but my pain is ever so abysmal
Nobody feels what i feel
But at the same time nobody seems to reveal
Whats going on inside
So how are we going to know when your horrors decide to collide ?
My monsters seem to be my only companion
They relieve the pain of feeling abandoned
But they hide the purpose that attemps to surface
Trying to delay what my heart seems to portray
But i am a cold soul and i continue to replenish
My basket of bad vibes that never seems to perish
Listen to the sentiments i repeatatly blare
“ I will disown you at once before i decide that i care “
Saying that statment makes me feel manic
I want to let go but there is comfort in the panic
Just like that i have lost everyone i hold dear
Just when i noticed that my happiness was beginning to appear
But when the moons goes away the sun comes out to play
So i will continue to try for the happiness
That my mind keeps trying to betray

I´ll get so hurt inside,
When I don´t know what I´m doing,
I´ll be so focussed on one person,
One person I want to love.

When I meet the person,
He shows me love,
But when we don´t see eachother,
The fire reaches to my soul.

Why isn´t the love as pure as it is in reality,
Why can´t u show me the same love,
Our love is being questionned,
Because you don´t know how to stay.

You love the moment,
But you love to live your life too,
You love the taste of every bit of life,
You´ll grab it and throw it easily away.

I´m holding my heart,
After 1 million attemps for love
I´m trying to survive the pain again,
Trying to live again,
This shouldn´t have happenned if it would not last,
I´m in a black hole,
And do not want to get out of it.

As remembered from my days of yore,
there's no evocation of the forever gore
of life's never-ending unfamiliar shore.

The dearth of relevance spawns numbing bore;
Which results to aimless attemps of fervor.
As my number grow even more,
the soothing void causes more allure

2.0 In quiet an unease and gloom perhaps would mind burdon to weight in too the gamble which my heart was struggled by to question the certain few and walk 2.1 meanwhile i did so far i knew only so little of but wonder but one or two i did dare nor could i think in that hour else but to count or guess i thought to day and night and myself another three or four or five the many was must had i go to find to came to new of dearanged senses to celestial was the wind to correct the view what i saw like frost on the window smiling like written in a childrens handwrite in the dew on the fields most beautiful rose 2.2 as if something unborn and whole and holy whispered: look! 2.3 And as soon i did i found myself in a land rather strange to call a stranger maybe would and might come to think as unnatural of course it must seem to you 2.4 in time reflect like the cold skin of the old snake does the future the past and present from his heads gliss blue and tip of the sweet tongue and poison behind cold eyes throught out the body moves forward and a crawl and the hiss and hunt of hours and minutes to use 2.5 the body lies gone until the tale it leaves behind to cruel the attemps to bite it has like a flock of storks whirl white it rolls around and clues like oclock the sun the day and the girl the boy and milk the ******* to bloom 2.6 how it ***** on the edge of souls where borders like the cloud to rain apure the world where dont dream anymore and love in due of else instead of adventures to be right instead of true and instead of every what another instead of beautiful another reason why not and not yes 2.7 we are and do it feasts on itself in a link of the high of the chain where its strong and where its weak it   lusts the mind in heat and hangs from much as a beat time a threath in a bottle to remember to mind near and return to sender in the same write of ink and same bottle of glass and from same shore it was found at to find its same way 2.8 in vain hope might but only fair and more by faith is the magic of what im about and is life if you ask so to complain least should what reason of mine to answer 2.9 to word a letter i do have decided to from what thrill it could be only to stole my mind from fear of death to think i might have died to do its worth i would again million times.