Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Kyle John Somer Oct 2012
Our fingertips are getting so cold in the places we call home.
Putting themselves to sleep with braille goose bump bed time stories.
As our bone marrow weathermen  predict another liquid nitrogen winter.

Lately we have been falling apart like glacial walls.
Our chips off the old block selves falling short
Sinking deeper with all this new pressure and all the cold.
The last of our oxygen seeping through the cracks of our lungs as our time on the bottom runs out.
As our face in the gutter hourglass runs low.
Until we forget why were looking up.
The air bubbles are slipping through our lips like rubber balloon landmines that we've blown our hopes into.
And the places we house those dreams are beginning cut loose the strings that we have been holding onto
The childhood fantasies that are better let go.
Mostly our views of perfection an
d of affection that we should no longer be grasping.
Until we are almost bursting and all that fills our minds are the thoughts of red iron razors
The ones we grow when we think of our wrists.

And I am hoping that they can drag their metallic fingers through the flesh of those message in bottle balloons til they burst
so we can cut out the silence we have been thinking so long and fill it with some ****** inspiration

But the nights are still getting darker with tongues of shadow frostbite
and ever since our nomadic tendencies saw our survival expectancies
we have been moving around in our own skin with foster kid frequencies
wearing our heart sleeves rolled up because we don't want to get hurt again.

We are sensitive to light and you are diamonds and that scares us.

because even sunlight has a history of dripping agony
and the chances are high that we end up dancing with bad luck when the sky falls.
Stepping on cracks and filling shoes with puddles.

There's a cold war going on in our hearts
and were scared of the deja vu fallout of another nuclear winter
and you like to tango with destrucion
so we duck and cover behind the bright side of the sun
we live in shadows to protect our eyes from unclear reactions
Seeking shelter in empty alleyways
Under Gothic styled rib cages

And in the hollow places that we locked away our heart
We thew away the keys.

We have the same sickness as Icarus and we are burning up like a candle in the core of the earth.
Because we already have swallowed so much blue sky salt water
We have downed glasses and glasses of your unpredictability
and its been flowing counterclockwise down our throats
stinging like back stabbed golden friendships
like out cast creation
like the heartbroken rejection that had so much promise that we believed in it
and put our hearts into it
and then were broken
and burnt
like Alexander libraries and tornado explosions

Its been so lonely being safe.
Its been so cold.
So if you ask me how many heart beats I skipped for you
Ill tell you millions
Ill tell you life times
Ill tell you that I have missed you symphonies and that you should come home.

I've carved a place in my lock for your key.
I've looked up at the stars with wide eye telescope desire
and I want to dance with you and your big dipper hands.
I've worn chameleon skin for far to long and loved you under my breath even longer.

Your brilliance scares me but please let me join you.
I am sick of hiding behind shutters and stutters and dark water.
I am sick of thinking of razors and space and being alone.

We could blind the world together
You and I
Two happy people burnt into the memories of the universe.
The Oddity Sep 2013
I stand before the mirror, circling everything I wish I could change.
Before long, there's more marks on my body than freckles on my face.
It's funny how you could tell me I'm beautiful, and I'll quickly forget.
But a simple 'you're ugly,' will forever be implanted into my head.
I keep my gaze down in front of strangers, terrified they'll see what I see.
My eyes are two open windows to the doubt and insecurity.
Maybe if I just smile, play along, pretend I'm alright,
nobody will suspect those are my cries they hear at night.
And I can't help but wonder what it's like to be pretty.
To make guys stop and stare, tall, tan, and skinny.
To throw on anything and walk with confidence out the door,
instead of trying on 13 different outfits and wondering why you try for.
Why doesn't God listen to me when I beg him to be someone new?
Just live in another's skin, is that so hard to do?
For a day, that's all I need, I want to see what it's like,
to not be the one who stares at her reflection and cries.
I am the first page of a well-loved novel,
But often the first one ignored,
Dog-eared and transparent at the corners
From the touch of one too many hands
And witness to the enterprising twist of a smile
As my readers are privileged to only pieces of me.

You, like the binding that surrounds me,
Enclose and encircle all that I am. Write a novel
Under my skin. I’ve falsified too many smiles,
Sacrificed even the best of myself for ignorant
Delusions of caressing hands
That take and abuse my corners.

The used bookstore on the corner
Of Middlebury Marbleworks, Otter Creek and window-origami —
My salvation and river-penance. Seek my story with hands
That feel to comprehend, with novel
Softness and a tenderness that ignores
My pleading glances and indecisive smiles

As you speak in hush-whispers. Smile
With your eyes as you touch my spine — corner
Me at the exit. I want you to ignore
Faults, make peace with flaws that inhabit me
Like poetry misplaced within a novel,
Or willow branches falling too low, tired hands.

I memorized the shape of your hands
The first time we danced to Chaplin’s “Smile,”
And wrote on the broadness of your shoulders a novel
Of my sins, apologies stretching to your corners
In villanelles — repeating refrains. It took all of me
To tell you what I could no longer ignore.

Because once you start to ignore
Conflictions that exist in the nerve-endings of your hands,
What you feel becomes a burden. For me,
Sand ran out of the hourglass when our smiles
Stopped touching — and at the corner
Of Maple Street and Printer’s Alley, I said goodbye, our novelty

Gone. Still, I find it hard to ignore what used to be when you smile
As you look at her, your hands on her back in the corner
Of the room. You remain my unfinished novel.
unnamed  Jan 2014
Atelophobia
unnamed Jan 2014
She was the girl
The girl with paper skin
The girl with chocolate eyes
The girl with autumn hair

She was the girl
The girl with a porcelian heart
The girl with a wounded head
The girl with a soaring soul

She was the girl
The girl with fragmented dreams
The girl with starlight memories
The girl with clouded yesterdays

She was the girl
The girl who used broken vases
The girl who used flower bandages
The girl who used yellow books

She is that girl
That girl with her tic-tac-toe skin
That girl with her malleable feelings
That girl with her guarded past
She was
And is
And will forever be

Me
Esther L Krenzin Apr 2019
Don't discard me
like a seashell
with a blemish
yes
I'm cracking
of course
I'm crumbling
no amount of polishing
will sand away the bits
of me
you'd rather not deal with

Again
and
again
I am picked up
examined
and thrown away
always falling short
never the right shade
or shape

Forlorn
in the sand I await
unable to unsee
everyone
but
me
being chosen

One day
as the sun sets
I let myself release the childish
dream
that I was enough for
them
that they were enough
for
me.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-
Atelophobia: the fear of imperfection. The fear of never being good enough.
Max King  Sep 2014
Atelophobia
Max King Sep 2014
Girls like me are taught to treat our bodies like metaphors, we are taught that we can only be desired if we are oceans and hillsides, if we are Septembers and sinkholes. They paint us, all sunset eyes and nicotine, hoping to color us in with their washed out words, so that maybe we can mean something. We are taught to fold into ourselves, to shrink our waists and our voices, that being small minded will compensate for the space that we take up. We are taught to apologize for the space that we take up. Girls like me have to be thankful to the stranger who comes and dares to want us, as if we’re only worth our weight in love poems, as if he’s doing me a favor with his wandering hands. Girls like me fill our heads with shipwreck and sorry’s, hoping that this time it’ll be different. That this time, for once, love might be blind. That this time, for once, we can be enough. Girls like me are afraid of being enough. Because maybe if I think of my body as anything more than a graveyard, your ghost hands will find somewhere new to rest.
Rebecca Gismondi Jan 2016
it rained the day after Christmas and

you said you’d prefer snow.
it reminded me of London

so I kept my mouth shut and pushed your hands
further between my legs.
“eat my pineapple,” I instructed
as the *** coated my tongue.
“carry me through

the tiki bar and do pushups in the empty
space while I brush my lips on your temple.”

we were married on the corner
of Queen and Dunn;
our officiant on one knee, clad in blue knit
I

never thought I’d be here.

across oceans you recessed
further into my insomniac brain.
your eyes are green, right?
turn around:

it’s less romantic if there’s no eye contact.
track our distance across my sternum --
I’ve never been to Azerbaijan.
I took advantage of the fact that you were wearing black
and forgot to outline my
shape in chalk.
Sabrina  Sep 2018
Atelophobia
Sabrina Sep 2018
Get out of my head
Please
Stop ruining my life
Creating up little lies and scenarios
Forcing me to believe them.
Atelophobia along with my anxiety and depression that controls my everyday life.
I depend on that one small pill to keep me happy and sane
My brain is so ****** up that I cry for no good reason without it.
I miss one day, and I break.
No reason for me to snap, no reason for me to cry, no one can tell me why I randomly developed this mental issue that runs my whole life.
Let me love someone for once without being doubtful.
Let me love someone without a fear of being thrown out.
But maybe it's just trying to protect me,
So that I don't get any worse.
Get out of my head.
torrey  Jan 2015
Atelophobia
torrey Jan 2015
I'll pull, pull you close until you can't breathe
I'll watch you lose your mind trying to seize
I'll push, push you until you're lost with no means
Finding me only in your dreams
You caught a glimpse of my heart
Why, oh why have I gone this far?
You pulled, pulled me apart until
All that was left were my uncontrollable thoughts
You pushed, pushed me until I was gone
Leaving me only with memories that only haunt
Too scared to stop, too scared to let go
Running infinite circles
Planting daises along our broke road
There she waits with a rose in her hand
But the other around your neck
Surprised and relieved
Hers was all he'll ever be
I dug up our daises and gave them to her instead
"To you and your addicted lover"
And away she led
Atelophobia-the fear of imperfection. The fear of never being good enough
I find myself here again
Staring at the wall
Lost in the thoughts that plague me
****** I here from my own mind
Loser, trampling through my thoughts
Give up know
Your no more than **** anyway

I light a cigarette
Yah I think im cool
Not really
Im just and infant in a grown world
A glass boy
A fragile existence

God do you hear me
I know you cant
Why do I try
You only help the good
That’s not me
It never was

I see the dance
But yet I don’t know the moves
Masks are for children
Then I must be a child
Playing hide and seek
Alone

I feel the water over me
Cascading into red
What would they do without me
Live that’s right
Go on, happy
He did say much anyway

Who’s that boy in the background?
Oh him, he’s just a pawn
He’ll be gone soon
Just wait and see
He hold up space for know
Tell someone good comes along

Don’t even try young man
You’ll never succeed
Just play your games
Let the men handle the job
Its no place for you
Go back to your books

No one will love you
Look at yourself
A shell of a person
A drone of some sort
Just another **** in the grass
Waiting to be mown

Don’t try and speak
It’s not like we’ll listen
What a pretty song
To play at your funeral
Make the others look good
Yah that’s your places

Don’t try to be gold
Even copper out shines you
Your more like a rock
Just made to be kicked
Roll down the hill
So the river can swallow you whole

Don’t move a muscle
Lay their and take it *****
Its what you deserve
Don’t try to leave your place
You worked so hard to get there
Don’t you like what you have achieved

All your work has paid off
Your alone and patatic
Like you knew you always were
Just a sad reflection
In a world of mirros
You could’ve been great
That’s a lie

Don’t strive for love
Its just out of your reach
Your hideous to the eye  after all
He just wants your body
No one wants your heart
Its cold and dark

So know youll ended it
Good for you
Just take the razor and go a head
Oh before you do
You know its all *******
Really kid get over yourself
𝙶𝙽𝙶 May 2022
Fear of not amounting to anything.
      Imperfect.
We all feel it...some more than others, but it's there. Chin up. Shoulders high. Smile.

— The End —