i didn't want it to end this way
i didn't want to leave you
i didn't want to hurt you
but i didn't want to hold on to be selfish
and hold on to you when i knew
you'd be better off without me

She found herself slowly becoming immune to her emotions. With her lungs incapable of letting the air out, and the pain buried within her unable to turn into tears, she bled in silence

I was drunk last night.
I made a sandwich at one in the morning
I hated the feeling of alcohol
Burning in my stomach,
But I was drunk last night,
I was alone.
I remembered how
I stood on the edge of the cliff,
I had no fear that time,
Because if I'd died, I wouldn't care.
The way my arm was torn and split,
So I could prove that I still feel,
I wasn't drunk then.
But I was drunk last night.
I wrote poetry about wristwatches
And watched music videos
Until I passed out in this bed.
I don't know why I did it.
But I feel sick today.

I took a shot before school
No one knew

I took a shot when i got home
God im so alone

I smoked before bed
Lord help me before i bleed red

I took swig of *****
And my mom has no idea

Hi, I'm Hannah.
I like reading and old books and tea. you could say I'm an  old soul. I also have a mild alcohol problem and if you can't handle that then you can leave already because my alcohol problem isn't just an alcohol problem it's a depression problem and I use alcohol to cover it all up.
You see, instead of fixing or facing our problems. more often than not we cover them with even more bigger and dangerous problems. Sometimes I'll start drinking and I'm not getting drunk as fast as i'd like to cover the pain and so I'll take codeine with it.
DO NOT MIX CODEINE WITH ALCOHOL. EVER.
it's dangerous and stupid but i'm dangerous and stupid but this can literally **** you.

My "friends" who i think are my friends, even though when i try to be a good friend they turn to each other and not me. But that's cool as long as they get the help they need even if it makes me feel completely useless. Anyway my friends, they noticed my issue with drinking, i just don't think they cared enough to help or at least i hid it so well that they had no idea they needed to help me.
This is all that it is. A cry for help.
Because I'm screaming and drowning at the deep end of a pool but the lifeguard can't swim.
I'm screaming but all my friends are deaf and I'm trying to show them but they're blind.

Then I turn to you.
You're the beacon of light in the distance. You're the destination my ship is supposed to go and it's following your light, the only hope left. My ship is finally sailing back home. It's been gone for weeks, months, years but it's finally coming back from the war.

But you're too far away.
And my ship sunk at the rocky shore.

I wake up. Alone. Covered in last nights make up.
What did I do last night?