Out of the earth's belly i was born,
into the earth's  belly i shall return.
      From the belly of one of this present day,
      to the belly of one of an ancient day.
From the belly of one whom i grew to know,
to the belly of one whom i shall never know.
      Many rejoiced as i came out crying-
      quietly shall i return as they do the crying.
Weak and dependent is the state in which i came,
I only hope that i will return the same.

sitting on the bathroom floor
smoking kush behind the closed door.
listening to music/ all the bad i can ignore
i use it and i always feel better than i had before.

i think about every decision i've ever made
wondering why i never changed
wondering how things managed to go this way
if i hadnt done the things i did i cant help but imagine what wouldnt be the same

i stare into nothing
just lost
not really here
i can see
i can feel
i can hear
well aware
just not there
not anywhere.

i snap back into me
pull another dab plus
three
the drugs are not just killing me
they set me free
allowing me to be
where i've always wanted to be.
not here
not there...
not anywhere.
still
well aware...

Her emotions run dry
She's out of tears to cry
The sky looks grey
As if it's got something to say

She longs for his love
Consumed by desire and lust
Even when ashes turn to dust
He's the only thing she thinks of

sometimes i feel like going back in time
to try to tell myself things that i didn't know then
to try to save myself from the ache that made my heart bend

he didn't love you for your soul
he didn't love you at all

he's not going to stay
don't hold out that hope

please let him go
please let him go
please let him go

because i'm still trying to say these things to myself today
and i don't know for how long i'm going to have to
until i begin to realize it was all just a mistake
and i've confused another stranger with a soulmate.

No no darling
You're not the reason I'm crying
No no, don't feel so important.

I want to puke,
The little I had left inside
I rushed on to pour them into you.
Now, I see why wise men say, only fools rush in
But oh well, I've always proved myself as a fool.

I feel like a piece of trash,
For I was stupid on trusting in someone again.
I feel like a joke to you
When it's usually the other way around
Tables were turned, just your way, not mine.

Oh my,
darling,
standing there
in denim
where your
eyes immediately
go to mine
and your hands,
magnets to
my waist

You say that you
don't love me

now you can't stop kissing me

and sometimes,
between kissing,
you hold my nervous jaw
between your hands and you push my
head against your chest
and you hold me like
a china doll you've
caught from
falling

how is it
you can hold me
like this
and say that you
don't love me

Love,
I've never felt more
fragile
and more sheltered
all the same.

And now you like simple girls
When I already combed my hair
Like the way your former girls do

When I already painted my lips
Like how the roses would bloom
In rows in the fields

When I already dressed myself
With how the pretty girls do

When I already turned into something
Your senses have been looking for

"I like simple girls"
And I never got the irony
Turned myself into someone I don't know
Because now, right in this moment

*You like simple girls...

it's not something that i want to gloat about.
i'm not being selfish or greedy.
i'm not doing this because it's a trending topic or i saw other people do it.
i'm doing this because i love.
i love people.
maybe this is happening because i haven't always felt love from others, and i'll just accept what i can get.
maybe it's because i am a rebellion and just want to love him or her regardless of the status quo.
or maybe it's just because i love.
and i love to love.
to make a person smile no matter what is between their legs.
and make them feel wanted.
and happy.
and give them a home in my heart hoping i'll have a shelter to run to in theirs.
i love girls.
i love boys.
but most importantly i love myself.
and as scared as i may be.
and judged.
and discriminated against.
and shunned.
or cursed at.
i will still love.
and i will still stand with my hands in my pockets or in a girl or guys hand.
it may not be a happy life.
and i may not have as many opportunities as the man next to me who has different values.
but i will still love.
i will love my God for i know he accepts me for who i am.
for how he made me to be.
i will love the people who stick with me and tell me that there is no difference between me and the woman that i crossed paths with on the street.
we are all the same.
we are all one.
and we should all love.
regardless.
so this is me saying.
i love.
and i will no longer be ashamed.
even if you belittle me.
and my love will prevail.
because love is the answer.
not arguments between politicians and preachers.
but love.
between a man and a woman.
a man and a man.
a woman and a woman.
and a brother and a sister.
as God made us.
to love.