I used to dream that I would one day soar the infinite sky
That I would have white beautiful stunning wings
And I would fly everywhere and see everything
Oh how I imagined the joy I'd feel

Landing has always been out of the question
Never even planned for it.

Do not settle
I've always told myself
Go out and seek for more
I've always reminded myself

Flying above and below clouds
Discovering worlds never shown to men
Oh how dreamy it sounds

However, you showed me what a wonderful dream land could be
How the world looks beautiful too without being high up above ground
How the ground is everything more than I could ever hope for
How being here and feeling, touching could mean much more than watching, surveying

I could not believe I fell in love with land
remembering what I reminded myself
So I got so mad at myself
That I jumped into the deep blue dark ocean
Wanting to drown myself in blue

I see now as I slowly emerged from the waters
Where you waited in patience
That I wasn't caged like I always feared
As I chose to land
I chose to see what was in front of me
I did not give up my wings
Nor did I stopped being a dreamer
I did not loose myself

I just picked up a part of myself
that I never knew I lost

I love feeling
while I used to fear it

Dark thoughts felt much stronger
than happiness that I know

Sadness became my fuel and obsession
I give it life
And in return it made me feel alive

But it is contagious
so when he came bearing the treasure they call - happiness
I had to let go of my obsession

Guess what my decision was...

Love makes you greedy.

Two worlds collide. And slowly come together to become one.

You can't not expect an explosion when planets come crashing into one another. So when the two start to engulf each other, conflicts begin.

You can't help but feel an inbalance.
But love is never about equal feelings but rather both fueling the love together without regards to calculations.
However when insecurities kick in, you see how they seem to feel less passionate than you do and their world engulfing more of yours than you are theirs.

We then start to ask for more.
But did not realise it was never about how much was given.
It was always just bliss and enjoying of company and times together.

But sometimes,
we become greedy
we want more
but did not realise
we already have everything we need.

We already have them.

I am putting my life on hold.

Not to waste it away

Not to
get lost

Not
to disappear

But to become better

To become the best version of me
so I would finally feel like I deserve everyone who loves me

I am not pausing my life
I am pushing the restart button
I am making changes
I am taking out the virus and filling it with self-love
I am learning to love

The Perfect way to know for sure is “wait”
or you’re just leaping to the next thing you think that’s great, with a chance of running against fate.

Given a fairy-tale reality
You try your hardest to fight the insecurities
a motivation to finally learn to love yourself
The default setting,
”It's too good to be true."
embraced the idea of bliss soon fleeting

The beginning
Was everything sweet and heart-melting
it was pleasant and pure, simple and warm
It's sitting closer to you just to steal a little warmth
a lovely secret you swear to kept to yourself unless Otherwise
It is a fresh start from hell since you got into your birthday skin

The Otherwise happened
it was so unexpected
like two painters meeting in the middle of the canvas
Realising what they were painting
was just half of something wonderful
and together you created a masterpiece without knowing

Retracing that your entire life was leading up
to this
being overwhelmed
natural instinct kicked in
But being Home
Prevented it from happening
being home disconnects the motherboard

It was like being crippled your entire life
then given a walking stick
And I would ask for nothing more

Just grateful you added a new colour palette in my life
wishing. With you
I could finally
walk slower and enjoy the view I have always loved
Hoping we'd walk to the end hand in hand

How I wish we are so far away from the end
knowing even when we do
Hands would still be linked after crossing the line

I want the entire room to be filled with paintings we paint
trusting nothing could torch it, even with a burning fire Match

The Perfect way to “Grow Up Too Fast” is by being a spectator for as long as you dream
yet you know just by submitting an application, you could be on the team

Failed by a daughter’s first hero, the warrior geared up,
Dreams still filled of rainbows and unicorns, lilies and daisies,
fireplace and wooden cabin, hot chocolate and cosy blankets,
chase towards the sunset, walks on the beach and dives into the seas.

First, it was electricity.
It got so shocking, it became cringy.
It was a nice piece of candy, with an intriguing wrapping,
you took a peek and it came alive. Chasing and haunting.
Too eager to have you taste its sweetness, too eager to have you love its taste.
Later when the obsession died down, you realised it wasn’t the flavour you want.

Then, it was bonfire. It got cold, deep in the woods.
In the dark, you see the fire from afar. Attracted, you closed in.
The fire crackled. Your new favourite sound.
You sat by the fire, telling stories of a warrior, of how she dreams in her town.
Ways to take off her shields and disarm her.
It was too hot. The fire almost melts you with warmth.
So you took off your jacket and moved closer.
It burnt you. You became speechless, as you were the one holding knives, so why were you the one bleedin?

Shortly after, a friend came over to look at those healing stitches.
But the request to show the scars were too absurd. You overreacted.
Leaving you in disgust and you zipped up your jacket.

It was just a scratch on the surface. Yet you felt you were quickly catching up.
No longer the new member on the team. “You learn fast”, they said.
The burden, the distance, the emptiness, left you as you were, as skin heals in seconds.
It just made you more familiar as a player.
Bandage ready, you are set for a new Match.

Aurora, it needs a break.
After years of sailing, it could no longer fake.

Ardour could only go so far,
antithetical to talent and holding
ace.

All encouraged in good grace,
Almost there. They prevaricate, clearly did not
anticipate.

A few had a slice of the honest cake, un-
aware of how they caused an
ache.

'Aye! What absurd thoughts, mate.'
Annoyed by the voice inside create,
as the pirate couldn't tell.
A message from garden or well,
are solid facts or silly doubts?

Aquivering, he supined on deck.
Anxious, desperately he seeks for his
answer. Impatiently he awaits for his
anchor.