I could say that I only have eyes for you but I know one day all I will ever see is black and an empty side of the bed. But please know that I will still yearn to see your face. I would travel through hell and back just to find you.

I could say that you will always be in my mind but you mentioned the other day that you don't like being confined.

I could say that your hand fits perfectly in mine but lately, my cup of coffee provides more life than your fingers. But I would still hold a pen & write for you if it makes you less sad.

And I could say that you have my heart but yesterday you threw it on the ground then said, "Find someone else."

I'm stuck in this room
Trapped by the decaying white walls
That I scrape away at,
Mindlessly, as I shift
From medicated dreams to
Manic insomnia.
I thought the last thing I said to you was
Don't leave me here.

My eyes bleed
As I try to remove the demons
Infesting me,
Creeping through my lashes
Into my irises.
The droplets stain the walls,
Fingerprinting my frenzied panic,
Echoing the last thing I said to you.
Why did you leave me here?

The air is intoxicating,
Shifting from breathlessness to weightlessness.
I'm sure they poison me here.
And you, the fallen angel of my thoughts,
You fiendish whisperer,
You have felt my fear,
Witnessed its brutality
In its shifting manifestations,
But still you left me here.

But honestly,
Who are you?
I'm stuck here pondering,
did I ever really get you?
All the time in the world has passed,
why the **** am I not over you?
Still thinking of the could've and the would've,
and why cant I just hate you?
To be honest Im just done with you
your mind was never with it.
You said you loved me in the end,
then why is my heart twisted?
Confusion envelopes my clouded brain,
and while im still stuck loving,
did I ever actually love you or were we actually nothing**?

You told me
(As I laughed at you for
Your draining phone memory)
That you have 7,936 images
Because you photograph everything
You fear losing.
                            I can't help but notice
                            In all our 2,190 days
                            You never took a photo of me,
                            Once;
                           ­ I suppose there isn't room
                            In your memory
                            For me.

That crazy little thing. 
Have you ever been so attracted to someone that you can't even fully look at them. 

Not like you can't look at them like glance at them but you can't rely look at them. For when u pass at just even near them the connection is so strong, so deep that you feel as if everything moves in slow motion for the fear of the electricity sparking and making a new current. 

Eye contact is literally so dangerously impossible for the fear of exposing your soul's window and the curtain being left opened has made you tangled and enraptured so vulnerably not only lost in your transparency but also in how willing you are to be seen and to see the deepest most intense free side of someone. 
Have you ever had a small chance to be with this person. Where all the intimacy of souls and the electrical current could have been placed to start a fire that would have burned for energy and warmth. But instead of being the carpe to the diem you waited and avoided and lost that moment.