Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
7.4k · Apr 2013
R Apr 2013
I remember the day my dad left.
He didnt just
On my mom
He cheated us too.
2 young daughters,
A son that wasn't his but
We thought he cared for.
A beautiful wife,

I guess that's what happens
When you're truley not
I remember when He left. I remember when he came back too. It was a bit later in the year and my sister and I stayed up half the night watching movies, being funny and all. Then we heard a knock at the door. My sister, being the oldest, went and checked while I hid behind a chair. When he came in, I still hid behind the chair, afraid that he was going to leave me again. He did, but the woman he cheated with have been happily together, they have a baby and I'm very close to them. They're wonderful people. I just wish my dad would act different.
7.3k · Oct 2014
Gay Rant
R Oct 2014
My heart hurts
And so do my eyes
And what's left of my brain
And my legs ache
It is if as I am running from who I am
All the time.
I love her so much, I cannot even explain how deep
My love for her truly is.
And I cannot imagine my life without her
Because she truly is my light.
But I can't help how afraid I am.
I am not afraid of our beautiful relationship,
But what our relationship might be if
Someone-our school and/or parents- we're to find out.
I can feel tension and anger and sadness swell up inside of my chest
And all I want to do is to protect her.
But how can I do that by hiding all of the time?
We kissed openly yesterday by the lakefront
And my God, I miss the way she looked under that sunset.
I miss the way she tasted with that hint of salt in the air.
I just miss being hers openly.
Sometimes I ask myself and God, why am I gay?
Is there no man who will ever perfectly complete me like
She does? I honestly think not, she truly feels like the only one
Who can know me better than I ever could.
And does any mans lips feel any more truer than when her lips
Are on mine? Everything about me in this moment is a fire that is burning. I am burning and raging against this door because I'm not sure how much longer I can be contained. I simply cannot live in secrecy but if I ever let this flame out then everything would burn. I love her so much and I simply cannot let this flame go because if I did, all hell would break loose and we would both be put to death in the worst manner possible.

I just want to love her the way God meant for it to be, but how can I do that when everyone I've ever loved has told me it is wrong? That it is immoral and disgusting and a sin. I can't believe for a single second that our love could be a sin. Maybe we can't have children and maybe the way we make love is different from the way you do it, but in all honesty, is that what makes a relationship beautiful? I find the way she crinkles her nose to be enough to set a flame in my heart and the way she points her toes when swinging on swings to add to ignition and the way she smiles at me to keep me going forever. I love her so strongly and passionately that maybe I am crazy, but this love can certainly not be immoral. Why would He make me this way? Just to put me in hell? Did Satan indeed win my soul from the moment I was conceived and God just... gave up? No, I cannot believe this for a single second. He loves me and he loves her and he loves us and if you cannot understand how we have maintained this beautiful and loving relationship for so long while staying hidden it is because you do not see the effect that God has on us. I believe that he wants us together, not to eventually cause us pain. I hate lying, and I'm sure God can see it even more easily than my lovely girlfriend does, but maybe He lets me lie because he does not see any other way to let me be with my other half.
I just kept writing. I've just been so upset about so many things today that I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please shed some light on this. Has anybody ever had someone they love so much but they had to hide them from other people they loved as well? I just want to keep loving her forever.... I'm just so scared that something may happen one day. I love her too much.
6.6k · Aug 2014
Future (15w)
R Aug 2014
Every time I touch you
It is like feeling my future
In my own hands.
And I simply cannot wait for our future together.
6.0k · Sep 2013
R Sep 2013
I know that when
You see the
Grade I made on
The test you spent your
Time helping me with
You'll be so
5.9k · Aug 2013
R Aug 2013
Jealousy is a sad thing to go through.
I can't go see him without feeling
Awkward since I'm not
His student anymore nor
Do I feel like I'm
As special cause
He has others
In my

I wish I were yours again.
It's a terrible feeling,
5.7k · Apr 2013
R Apr 2013
I want to have a
With you my dear.
I'll bring a blanket
To wrap us in.
I'll bring food
For us to munch on.
And I'll also bring my heart,
Hoping to win over yours.
5.4k · Jun 2013
Oh Step-Mommy Dearest...
R Jun 2013
so, stepmother,
you're saying that
because of my
of lying and
doing things
that i regret now,
makes what happened to
a liar?

that's sick, and i'm
surprised even you could
even think of that
as an option.
5.1k · Apr 2013
R Apr 2013
Someone asked me the other day
"Do you like her?"
I thought for a second and smiled,
"Yes, yes I do."

"God, you're such a lesbian!"
I smiled and replied with,
"I know."
And kept on walking.

Later in the day
People were staring at me
Calling me names.

I held my head up
And smiled.

Nobody will stand in my way.
UPDATE***not lesbian, but pansexual
I have a wonderful and beautiful girlfriend so call me whatever you please

preferably call me nothing at all because i am a human being ha
5.1k · May 2013
Electrons and Bonds
R May 2013
i noticed that
i'm nothing like a
covalent bond.
they share;
i can't seem to do that
with anything.
i'm more of an
ionic bond.
they gain and lose electrons...
just like me.
i don't gain and lose electrons.
i gain and (mostly) lose friends and
other relationships and
i know the reason why:
because i'm nothing
like a covalent bond.
i can't share my friends
and it's becoming a problem
for not just them
but for myself too.
i become selfish and
possessive and
i always wondered why
people would leave me and
yet i'm the one who
pushed them out of
my electron cloud.
4.8k · Jan 2014
a real man
R Jan 2014
i cant call this love
i know its... sort of complicated.
i can tell that it is for you.
one second you say im young
then the next you call me beautiful?
maybe i just take things in the wrong context.
but those blue eyes of yours really get me
and that silly smile you have on your face... god...
i just... i dont know. id never trespass your comfort zone
but i just keep thinking of the embraces we shared
and that kiss on the top of my head
i want you to remember me and love me
and maybe just turning that kiss from the top of my head
to down to my lips, and to love every second of it.
just once, please, one day let me lean in and
taste a real mans lips.
4.4k · Oct 2014
Gay Marriage
R Oct 2014
"Gay marriage is not real. It's like trying to get a license to drive a jet ski on the road. It just doesn't work." My theology teacher everybody!
I feel like throwing up.
3.8k · Sep 2013
Homecoming Dance
R Sep 2013
everyone was dancing
having fun
not caring about
but i stood still,
scared of the voices,
feeling like i didn't
fit in.

when he bent
down to kiss me,
i pulled back.
i felt bad but....
i just couldn't.

all i do is hurt people
and I'm so sick of it.
i cant even be happy
at my own homecoming

he told me to have
a good time because
everything gets better.
but they don't,
its only for a little
while that
they do.
i cried and relapsed the other night because i knew this would happen. i just knew.
3.6k · Jul 2013
Run Away
R Jul 2013
she said thats she's surprised I haven't
run away yet.

but the real question is:
where would I go?

I have no one,
I can't even have my bestfriend.

I should just go far, far away.

Anybody feel like helping?
3.4k · Jul 2013
Ashley From Soccer
R Jul 2013
She seemed nice when I met her.
(Dyed) Brown hair and
Perfect ( Colored In) eyebrows and
A good kick.

She's played soccer before,
Just like me.
Even had a nice personality,
Or so I thought.
I wanted to befriend her but
She had other plans.

Now, when I see her at practice
I feel bad about myself.
Soccer used to be my
Safe haven and now it's
Turned into an unbearable sport
All because of the girl with the
(Dyed) Brown hair and
Perfect (Colored In) eyebrows and
A good kick in the
3.4k · May 2013
R May 2013
You don't want to go
But you don't
want to stay.
What do you want to do?
I'm here for you sweetheart,
All the days of your life
No matter what you choose.
3.3k · Apr 2013
R Apr 2013



2.9k · Sep 2015
R Sep 2015
You were red and you liked me because I was blue
You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky
And you decided purple just wasn't for you.
I really love this song and I really connect with her.
2.7k · May 2015
R May 2015
Take up your arrows, Artemis; the forest calls.
its time to answer
2.5k · May 2014
I am Dominant
R May 2014
You were asked "Who is the
man in the relationship?"

because apparently there has to be
a man...
But, you said "That's the point.
Nobody is the man."

I'm sure he smiled and
tilted his head to the side
because in reality
isn't the man

I remember as a kid
believing that the men
had all the rights whereas
the women had none at all.
But, now I see if you want the
relationship to work out, then
you must both agree that you are
equal in each others love.

I have found that maybe I am the
Dominant lover, but something she
may not realize is that my heart
beats for her and my hand reaches
for her. That my thoughts lead to her
and that my body only wishes to feel
her warmth beside me every day and night.

I may be dominant, but you'll always have superiority over my heart.
L<3 see, I wrote you something yay I'm not completely useless lol I love you darling!
2.5k · Apr 2013
Picnic Plans
R Apr 2013
I told you
My plans,
for our
Summer picnic was

You laughed
Smiled even,
Through the phone
Your slight
Raging through my ears.

You told me how
How wonderful
It would be.
I told you about the
And the

But what I didn't say was
That I planned on kissing you
And telling you what you meant to
2.5k · Sep 2014
Rant/Stress taking over
R Sep 2014
My chest is caving in
And my arteries are clogged with
McDonalds filth.
And honestly,
Nothing makes sense
I have a lot on my mind,
And blood on my hands.
I'm not even sure
What I'm fighting for.
Girls want guys and
Guys want girls and
All I want to do is to
Stop wanting to hurl my
Homework at the wall in
Hopes of not being so
Stressed every single day of my life.

If Education nowadays didn't equal death then
Maybe I'd be more pro-school and less
Ugh help
2.4k · Sep 2013
R Sep 2013
im pretty sure i
eat less than
i should.

i dont have time for
breakfast and
the lunch at school is usually
i eat a lot at dinner but
thats all.
i dont get hungry but
im not trying to get
skinny either.

thats the thing:
im not trying and
yet im achieving

also, i just
dont have the

i doubt i even eat
over 1000 calories anymore.
and considering we do
******* workouts at
school every other day;
im losing weight.

it feels nice to
fit in my
2.3k · Jul 2013
The Perfect Daughter
R Jul 2013
she used to be okay.
always a smile on her face and
she talked with a sweet voice,
which is something i don't want to under state,
and she never really cared that she was
40 pounds overweight.

but now as she lays on the beach
and no boys and no girls look her way
she feels invisible, even while she dreams of
being able to tell her parents that she
might be gay.

her parents talk about her figure
and how she'll never compare to how her
sister looked when she was her age.
thin, toned legs and a stomach with abs.
after all, who wants to date a girl
with flabs?

she has a blog dedicated to the thin girls
who make her feel so bad,
it makes her feel less,
it makes her feel sad.

if only she counted calories and
if only she could fit in that size two,
maybe she's be the perfect daughter that
her parents wish they knew.

but even as she drinks a sprite and
takes all her bites in spite she knows that
if she was skinny then
everything would be alright.

all she needs a push and a pro ana friend and
maybe she can be the perfect daughter
again. She can't like girls and she
must skip dinner, by the end of the year her
bones and boyfriend will
show that she is a winner.

2.3k · Sep 2013
Who am I
R Sep 2013
She said that he thinks that
I don't like him.
That I don't want to
Date him nor
Be his homecoming date.
I sigh at the thought because
I know it's true.
All I'm doing is hurting
Him and I hate every
Second of it.

I want to be happy
Also but it's so hard cause
I know what I want but
It can never happen.
And as for being gay,
Well, my parents would
Rather me die than
Be who I am.

The big question is:
Who am I?
2.3k · Aug 2014
Dreams (20w)
R Aug 2014
So, it would seem that we
Are both dreaming about
The people we wish would
Never appear in our
I dream of him in the way that I fear.
R Jun 2014
7:10 AM: I knew the time was coming for you to leave me, for you to prep for your surgery and go under. Thinking about you leaving hurt me in every way possible.

7:11 AM: You said it was time to go, but you promised till 7:15. I started crying again, even though I had just stopped.

7:12 AM:  I told you goodbye, even though it was the hardest thing I had done in forever. (I prayed for you too many times in the last few hours, I prayed for a goodbye that was meaningful.)

7:13 AM: You told me goodbye... I hate goodbyes. I never want that to be the last thing I say to someone.

7:14 AM: We both agreed that we loved each other equally. I mean it with every fiber of my being, I love you with everything I am. I'll give you the Universe, don't worry baby.

7:15 AM: You were gone. You said your last "I love you" and left me to say it back with tears rolling down my face and ugly sobs escaping my mouth. Nothing has ever hurt so much, not even when I had that awful kidney infection. I felt like someone took my heart straight out of my chest and ran over it with a stampede of elephants... Nothing has ever pained me more than seeing those words, those three little beautiful words, because for a few mere seconds, I thought they were your last.

Love is wanting the best for them even when its not the best for you,
and I really believe that God was testing me in these last few weeks because I could have left and spared me the tears (not that it was ever an option, because it isn't, trust me)... but I have stayed and I so glad I am still here to support her and love her with everything I have inside of me. She deserves everything I can give her and so much more.
I love her so very much.
And she loves me equally.
oh god i really truly do love you
tuesday the 10th of june was the most frightful day of my life by far.
2.3k · Apr 2013
Big spoon
R Apr 2013
I love when we argue over the
Silly things.
Tickling and
Who is going to be the
Big spoon or the
Little spoon.

I'm always the big spoon and
You tickle so

I hope this lasts forever.
2.2k · Jan 2014
J (II)
R Jan 2014
i bring out the child in him.
you'd think by the way he shoots nerf gun bullets at me,
that he would have pierced my heart earlier in the year.
but, he grew on me with his childish smirk and those blue eyes.
when he sips the green tea out of the cup i gave him my lip quivers.
when he says my name my heart stops just as quickly as it started.
when he tells me that i am pretty and that i am worth so much more,
what does he mean?

are the gifts just a coincidence?
are the nice words just nice words?
is everything i am feeling even real?
2.2k · Apr 2013
R Apr 2013
You asked me earlier
How I was
I replied I wasn't
That I wasn't
That I felt like complete
You laughed a bit
Replied with a
I told you everything
Except for the real reason.

I'm slowly falling
Out of love
With the man

You made me smile
Behind my tears
And I felt like the
Luckiest girl
When you told me
You were
2.1k · Sep 2014
Alive (10w)
R Sep 2014
I want to stop surviving
So I can start
You give me life. You are the rebirth of my soul and the death of my endless hell. I love you fully and unconditionally L<3
2.1k · Jun 2013
My Gay Philosophy
R Jun 2013
I think I knew I was gay when
I started to notice girls more than
guys or when
I started drawing them more frequently or
Seeing them in my dreams.
The excitement of just
One kissing scene in a movie with
Two girls just gives me this...

I still think that maybe I'm just
Not all the way gay but
I can tell that I lean towards
Girls than guys more and
I think I like it
Better that way.
2.1k · Apr 2013
R Apr 2013
I just hurt
Around me
Don't I?
R Sep 2013
when he said, "this is
my note, after all, thats
what people do, right?
leave a note?" my heart
completely caved
      >     in.    <

when my teacher said
that a lot of people
commit suicide due to
bullying or because they
feel unaccepted,
i raised my hand to
speak up about the

the true facts.

how more than half of the
homeless teenage population
are gay. they were kicked out
by their mums and dads.

how its not just the
bullying, how its
them too.

they feel so alone and
we always wonder why
there is a new name in
the paper saying,
"Suicide--Age --"
and yet because of
someone being p    u s h  e       d
to                                                      far

it made them take
their own life.

i wish i could stop
i wish for once
i could be the one who
closed the door on

but im no rolemodel,
i always let death
back in.

but that doesnt mean i
wont help you take
him out.
if you ever need someone to talk to, please please please dont hesitate to either talk to me or one of the other HP members. call a hotline or call your friends. write it down, talk to someone. 1-800-273-8255 heres the suicide hotline. please, if you need it, use it.
1.9k · Apr 2013
Infatuational Math Class
R Apr 2013
I never noticed what a
Bore it is
When I thought I
Loved you.

Definition: lie, one sided love, not true love, fake

Seems about right.
1.9k · Jun 2013
Food Journal
R Jun 2013
It'll take some very
hard work and some
But, I think if I
keep a Food Journal then
I can keep
track of my
weight for
1.8k · Oct 2013
R Oct 2013
you'll think of me later
when you got to turn on Netflix
and type in 'Sherlock'.
you'll laugh at Benedict's badass
attitude in the show, and
i'll be lurking in the back
of your mind.

rach rach rach rach rach

you'll be thanking me for
showing you this great
show and you'll be
smiling because of
all of the good times
we've had.

but, then your fiancé will come by
and kiss you on the lips,
you'll hold her close and
you'll probably put your hand
on her waist to keep her steady.
you'll take the time to pause the
show and i'll be gone from your
mind because now the only thing
on your mind is her.

lyse lyse lyse lyse lyse

that's all you'll be thinking of.
not me, not the show,
but making love with her.
and to be brutally honest here,
it hurts. but then again,
i never really was an option,
now was I?

I'm just a daughter to you,
while you are my hero,
my savior,
my glorious passion.
you are the fire burning inside of me,
the sweet smell of lust after love
you were and are and forever
will be my
1.8k · Sep 2013
R Sep 2013
i dont exactly have
anything to complain
about today.

the sun is shining
the music is nice,
my cat is fluffy,

today is ******* fantastic

im studying in my room,
im watching my nephew,
im drinking some tea,
and scrolling through

im messaging my friend(s)
im eating some pancakes
painted my nails earlier,
today is awesome.

ive started to think a
lot about myself lately
because all i do is
think about others and
its not fair to me at all.

when i go to homecoming
this week i will
smile and kiss my date and
be happy because hey,
im alive.

i wont show the pain
im feeling when i see
the man i love and
ill dance all night cause
i look ******* hot and
nobody can tell me i dont.

i wont let him get into my
thoughts and i wont let that
fabulous tuxedo he'll be wearing
distract me from the good things
in life.

like his smile or his
eyes or his 5 o'clock shadow or
his hands or his
height or the way
he bites his lip and
looks down or
how he says my

no. i wont allow him
to get to me,
i have a dance to
well, he doesnt have a full beard but i keep forgetting what its called when a guy doesnt shave for a day or two and it starts growing back and it looks ******* hot. oh ****, my feels right now.
1.8k · Sep 2013
what i want (not done)
R Sep 2013
What I want is simple
and with hardwork &
dedication, I'll have it.
I want Berkeley and
Astronomy and
the Art from the

I want the stars in
the sky and the
balck holes.

I also want everything

Not sure how I'll
achieve that but
hell, you
gotta start
1.8k · Apr 2013
R Apr 2013
Screaming my feelings,
Left and right.
Doing time,
Throughout the night.
1.8k · Jan 2015
R Jan 2015
a year will be here
soon enough and I cannot seem to
control myself when I am around you
the sound of your name pushes my
heart of my chest and the touch of your
fingertips let me know that you're not all
ice you are a burning fire that consumes my
soul and roars with the wind in the winters
brisk air and I've never met someone who could
take my heart and burn it with their eyes as if I had
never seen a fire before which is true, I have never
been burned by another person before because how could I
possibly let someone inside of me that way?
our hands touched and I instantley knew that you owned every single
part of me, including my wrecked and aching soul that could only seem
to see that you were the one for me and we took a chance that some are
afraid to take, and we were too, but we took this chance on us because
we could see that something was there, something called love was there
and I've never felt so beautiful in my entire life, you have loved me time
after time and have showed me how this horrible world isn't so horrible,
it is actually quite beautiful in a way, but you have showed me
that life isn't just about grades and being touched by
someone who doesn't burn your very being
but that this life is about the love that
you can hear in the middle of the
night when you are starting to
fall asleep and the smell of
her hair when you are
telling her you will
love her forever.
Something about Love which is also about L. It's almost been a year. I love you so much.
R Apr 2013
I can't seem to wait
It's sick I know
I'm so excited
To have the body that my mind
Wants to know.

I want to see bones
Not my rib cage
But more!
Oh joy,
The hip bones,
And muscles galore!

I want to be strong
So nobody can tell me wrong
I want to be the best
To have a body that I seem to long.

This tale may sound weird
But at least I know what I want.
One day I'll have a body
That won't jiggle, but one that I can flaunt.
1.8k · Apr 2014
R Apr 2014
Eyes say yes
lips moan oh
and your body moves
with me as I
swim laps
inside of
I hope this never ends.
1.7k · May 2013
R May 2013
I'm still trying to figure out wether
We really belong together.
When we were so close and everything
Seems so fine it makes me want
You so much more.
I have scary visions of you
And I hate them all except
The ones that
Are good.
I want you to be happy and
To remember me.
Want you to live on without me,
I can just be a
Good memory.
Remember my eyes
The ones you've never seen as they
Explored your spine and how it
The eyes that
Memorize the
Freckles on your arm.
The same **** eyes that
Know when you want to cry.
I'm still trying to figure out why
I want you so much and if I
Should stay.
If I did stay,
One reason would be
Because of you.
1.7k · Apr 2015
R Apr 2015
The only thing you gave up for Lent was me.
And now it's time to be the one who gives up on you too.
1.7k · Jan 2014
R Jan 2014
What comes to mind when i
hear the word bitter
is you.

You are bitter.
Not even bittersweet.
Just bitter.
The way I love you and
The way you don't even notice me.
The way I get so excited to see you
and how you push me out of the way.

You are bitter.
*So bitter.
not good but im trying to get back into the groove, havent written in awhile.
1.7k · Oct 2013
R Oct 2013
reading johnlock
**** and fluff
in theology class.

oh, how you
should be
R Jan 2014
i think ive fooled everyone.
they all believe im happy.
that my laughter and smiles are real.
and yes, sometimes they are...
but, id rather see the blades and the blood.
and the real smile that creeps onto my face as
i press d
into my skin and the vein opens up
and the blood starts pouring out.

i see myself doing this every night.
i know one day that i am bound to relapse.
i know that one day i wont be able to take it anymore.
i know that i probably am a bit crazy... probably even on the verge of psychopathy/sociopathy...
but, i am trying. i am trying to stop and i guess thats all that matters.

sometimes i believe that i should've killed myself last year,
but then i remember that i wouldn't have met half of the people that
i have come to love today.
1.7k · Apr 2013
R Apr 2013
I have a problem.
It's you.
R Jun 2014
We went on a date tonight.
Not the sort of "normal" date considering
my sister was there and we couldn't act as
a couple because it is frowned upon with
my family and many others (not that it matters
about the others)
. But, nethertheless, it was beautiful.
You are beautiful. Even with makeup on, you are beautiful.
With deep copper and black shimmering lids and
pin-point straight hair (unlike your usual lioness curls)
and your gorgeous laugh, it was so breathtakingly hard
to not stare at you throughout the night, darling.
I looked over at you when you had your first tea
(another first for you, I seem to always be your first for everything) and I felt something I haven't exactly been feeling lately,
pure love for you.

I felt the purest form of love for you in that moment.
I watched you as you mixed in some cream in the
"London Fog" tea (My new favorite...Also Sherlocks...Interesting.)
and I put in a sugar cube or two and watched as you sipped.
Your lips touched the cup gracefully, just like they when they kiss my lips. And my heart grew immensely when I realized I was falling in love with you all over again.

I have been constantly in love with you, my love hasn't stopped, and I don't plan on it ever stopping. But, sometimes I forget to appreciate the beautiful things around me, and sadly, that sometimes includes you.
You are beautiful, and I fell in love with you again.
I know we didn't touch much, and I know it wasn't everything you
wished for it to be, but my God, it was the most perfect time
in all of the Universes history.

I applaud you, darling, for making everything I do and live for seem so important... And for loving me while I fall in love with you
over and over again.
It was a Sherlock themed date with tea and soup and yumminess and mystery and it was great. I loved it and I love her. L<3
I know its love, but I just HAD to write about tonight(:
1.7k · Oct 2015
Love Letters
R Oct 2015
I've written many of them in the past few years.
Some were long and told the girl I loved how much I
missed her and how happy I was to be in love with such a
lovely woman.
Others were ones that would never see the light of day about
people who did not deserve to hear of my love for them because
I knew my heart did not matter much to them.
And that's okay. I left my heart with those
letters and figured out how to stop
giving my affections to
But, there are some special love letters that I have.
I've given them to him. He probably did not even realize that
they were love letters though. I doubt he did.
To him they were just funny notes and silly pickup lines to
read while he unstuffed them from his pockets at swim practice.
But to me? These little slips of jagged papers were full of what I felt
for him and still continue to feel for him. Giving you piece by piece my heart through jokes and puns really has burned me now and I
wonder if you even realize the damage this burn has caused.
Guess not, but it's okay. I guess I did not expect you to.
So this is me, writing my (hopefully) last love letter
to you in hopes that all of my affections will be
put away and that I'll just be able to
move on.

That's how these things work, right?
guess so
Next page