“You don’t know what it’s like
to be this empty,” he tells me
and that’s true, I don’t
but I know how it feels
to want to fill the space.

maybe we dont believe
we're beautiful
because those who have
told us that
have hurt us

I thought I could stay,
But the sun gave me signs to breakaway,
I didn't want to stay,
Wanted to sway,
Then I went away.

For a moment, I sat still,
Another moment, looked for thrill,
Wondered about a whole life to fill,
Just couldn't find the time to ****.

Got a car with pedals I couldn't reach to drive,
Like a bee stuck in a hive,
Felt like a swimmer that has lost the desire to dive,
I was just struggling, fighting, and climbing to strive.

The wind was the greatest tempest,
It could even topple down an empress,
They didn't let me rest,
They left me helpless,
The torture was endless,
So I don't think that leaving's reckless,
If I stayed I wouldn't be here in Venice.

peril is not what i fear, i fear your death at such a scintilla of contentment
how can i love you for such distorted exaltation, if it is love at all
she has sunned only her heart, a weathered inamorata of gangrenous pallor
timid and stark naked in the swirling moonlight, blood viscous and ripe to drink, she speaks at last:
i cannot be your lover.
in retrospect, the affair was a whim; lithe but so bitter
love is not divine will, but tenacious valor
as i have learned
as anything

have i disrupted your cadence?

Use this to better yourself. Try as ******* yourself as you did on the relationship. You are the most important person. You are capable of everything you want to do. Don't give up on yourself too. I love you. I love you. I will learn to love you. There is time for sadness. That is okay. Turn it into creation. You won't always be happy but you will always be okay. Fill the holes in your heart from loving him with new reasons to love yourself. Go hiking alone. Climb a tree and read a book. Write more. ******* it, don't waste that talent. Practice gratitude. Practice mindfulness. Believe. In the future. In the power of your mind. In your ability to overcome. You will be reborn in strength.

Love,
Your forever companion

heard the trains in the distance
whistling your name for 20 years
but you never understood their language,
it wasn’t meant for your ears.

you were so comfortable
sitting in your bed,
watching tv,
wishing you were dead,
you didn’t think twice about where the trains went.