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 Jul 2014 Kay
Mel
Sometimes I just want to
**** myself, just so I can see
the world unravel itself,
to see all the people I love
get the news and lose feeling in their knees
and drop to the floor, or silently cry to themselves at lunch
or think about me whenever they hear or see a certain thing,
reminding themselves of an inside joke we once had.
To imagine those who disrespected,
took advantage
and carelessly stomped over our relationship like a hardwood floor--
as if I was ever stable enough to hold up the both of us--
let the merciless furry of regret scorch them and melt them from
the inside out, like acid on skin,
wishing that maybe they'd
shown how much they appreciated me,
instead of showing true to the prophecy:
You don't know what you have until it's gone.
Maybe I want this because I long to be the center of attention,
or maybe because I'm curious.
Or maybe because I just want the world to suffer.
I named this #1 because it's a selfish thought of many.
 Jul 2014 Kay
Arija E
Mad
 Jul 2014 Kay
Arija E
Mad
I gave up on being mad at you a long time ago

I realized it didn't do anything

I opened my eyes to the fact that you didn't care

I only spent the energy to be mad because I thought it would make you want me

I gave up on being mad at you a long time ago

I took up a new hobby

I became mad at myself

I spent so much energy and time on someone that didn't even want me

I gave up being mad at you a long time ago
 Jul 2014 Kay
wulfhug27
mad
 Jul 2014 Kay
wulfhug27
mad
Dealing with anger innocently
means we become angry and immature
where you shout and you scream and
you make love to  irrationality
and you make truths
           tweaked
and mice
            monsters
then,
how do you deal with mature anger?
the type that's repressed and kept
the type that expresses through
clipped words and picked sounds and licked letters
where you hold your tongue
and beat your drum and
sigh loudly.
What now do with this anger.
When neither can answer and each has understood
each has come to know the anger and
which it there stem
so why be it..
the lost remain lost


this "mature" language of anger is obsolete
we must like children
disrupt this planet
erupt amidst the winds
and cry
its 3:30 am can you blame me?
 Jul 2014 Kay
unwritten
i.

they say that when you drown,
it's nothing like in the movies;
it's silent.
there's no splashing,
no screaming,
no kicking or crying for help.

just
silence.

and i guess it's true,
for i am drowning --
there is water in my lungs,
pouring into my heart,
filling my veins and escaping from my eyes --
yet i cannot speak.

i am rendered speechless
by you.

ii.

i'm not so sure if it's
the smooth white sand
ingrained in your skin,

or the intricate seashells
that are your daintily painted
fingernails.

maybe it's the pulsing red
of a moon during high tide
that shines through
your scarlet lips,

or maybe
it's the crashing waves
filling the ocean in your eyes.

maybe it's the way you sweep me up
and pull me under,
stealing my breath,
invading my thoughts.

or maybe it's how you
are unpredictable.
you are in alliance with the erratic skies
and fickle moon,
and yet,
no one can control you,
no one can predict your next move.

iii.

i find it fascinatingly beautiful
how easy it is
for you to destroy yourself,
how you hide within raging whirlpools
and tear yourself apart from the inside.

people are afraid of the ocean,
but the ocean is a part of you.
who knows, though?
maybe you're scared of the ocean too.

iv.*

beware the girl with the ocean eyes,
for a heart that is eaten away by the sea
can never be whole again.*

(a.m.)
idk.
 Jul 2014 Kay
Ruthie
Break
 Jul 2014 Kay
Ruthie
Have you ever felt your heart breaking?
Not just crying because somebody said no to you or something petty like that.
Have you ever literally felt your chest cave in on itself and burn with a searing pain?
Have you ever lost all control of your legs after hearing a simple sentence?
I've had my heart broken a number of times.
All equally as painful.
But this....
This is something much more.
He seems to have broken my soul.
I feel fragments of myself falling from my body.
And I know it's not just a heartbreak this time...
I think he broke me entirely.

Stupid girl.

You knew him two days.
 Jul 2014 Kay
Sydney Mae Dompier
I'm thinking of love at 2:45 am.
And all the while, your face
pops up in my memory like a flower in a meadow of weeds.
I don't think i know how to love but
When I see that certain smile upon
Your face,
My heart skips a beat
And my stomach does flips
And my hands get sweaty
And my mouth runs dry.
And if that's love
Then, God.
I'm crazy for you.
 Jul 2014 Kay
diana
"Find what you love and let it **** you" -Bukowski*
this is a response to this quote i find intriguing.*

well i found what i love, and it
wasn't the type of love
you can get over in a day or in a year.

that love came in a form of a human
being, a great genuine boy-- well i thought.
he wasn't the most perfect human being
in the world,
but i loved him.

slowly but surly, the love we had
didn't last.
he started to move on with out me
leaving me behind.
but in my mind,
oh god how much i loved him,
i couldn't seem let him go.

the love that i had for this boy,
slowly did end up killing me.
not physically but emotionally.  

the sad part of it all,
i don't know if i should believe
in love anymore.
just random thoughts i had when i read this quote all put together.
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