sometimes I just get in these moods where I think about nothing but destruction

But, what's the point in living, anyway?

I don't see a purpose quite exactly

my idea of fun is everything illegal

but if I get arrested, it's gonna be more than difficult to find a job

I could end up homeless
Or even worse, 40 years old living with my mother

we're born, and education is forced on us
we go to school with people we hate
atleast 50% or more of the school population hates themselves because of the people and remarks they have to deal with
everyday

but if we drop out of school, it's gonna be hard to get a job
and if we get lucky enough to get a job without education it's usually a job with poor pay

but how do you pay for your wife and two kids as a coworker at McDonald's?

"Lifes to short to have bad days," they say

life's not so short when you spend most of your time drowning in sadness and remorse
thinking about different ways to commit suicide

because it all started with a stupid boy
and it ended with a couple girls from school laughing at you

I breathe in anxiety
I exhale insecurity
while I'm stuck contemplating wether or not the girls across the room laughing at me

It's all so stupid
I guess life's not so short after all.

well ****

I finally stopped crying

I may have spent a lot my time stumbling to stand and drunk texting all his friends
but I was happier than I've ever been

you came into my life for barely 2 months
and now I'm back into the same sadness it took me almost 6 months to get out of

I'm tired of feeling angry
shouting stupid words i don't mean

you can't calm me down
not this time

i changed for you
but you changed me for the worst

I feel empty
the only thing I feel are the tears rushing down my cheeks
and the ache in my throat after shouting
sometimes I even feel the blood rushing down my hand after picking up the glass

I fell in love,
again

I must admit
I didn't think it was possible

but once I met you I know it would be inevitable to fall in love with you

I am once again drowning in sadness and regret
I am drowning in my own tears

I can't take it

I got through a heart break once
I can do it again, right?

you love me?
then please, let me go

your eyes are as blue as the ocean
and my hair is as blonde as the sun

together we both make the perfect beach day

but sometimes
you become dark

and that's when it storms

you become the dull grey sky

I try to light you up but it only makes things worse
and I guess that makes me the lightening

It may be dark and stormy

but what's a storm without lightening?

and what would the ocean be like if there was no sun?

what would I be like if i didn't have you?

I have a strong feeling I'm about to find out soon

maybe they were right
and maybe sometimes there's no calm before the storm

sometimes the storm just randomly hits,
hard

and maybe one day,
It won't clear up

have you ever broken something and tried to put it back together?

you usually can't find every single piece

but you glue the bigger pieces together

it's not perfect but it doesn't look half bad

most people won't notice it's broken unless they look hard enough

and that's kind of how it was after you left

I was like a broken vase that you dropped on purpose

it may have taken 6 months for me to put most of the pieces back together

and I'm still missing some

but only a couple people had to look hard enough to notice such sadness in my eyes

and everytime I see the half broken vase in my hallway I smile

because even though it's missing some pieces it still stands

it may not be perfect but it's fixable

And it gives me hope that maybe one day I'll be okay

without you,
the missing piece