We are living in an self-obsessed, self-serving nation
With citizens who only care about their own salvation
Is this what our heroes lost their lives for?
To see this nation crumble from wall to wall?
We have the freedom to choose but do we use it well?
We keep electing leaders who use lies to buy and sell

The system flawed founded on fallacy
They monopolize, advertise democracy
and yet our voices remain unheard
It's absurd, word for word
how we're lead by cheats and drug lords



I'm sick of seeing yellow people
wearing blindfolds on their eyes
reading yellow newspapers
believing yellow lies


Are you sure you're still thinking?
Maybe you're just one of them believing
the fairy tales they show us on TV
They profit from our own stupidity
conformity is what binds us to these chains
We have to recognize the fact that only one family reigns
We need to change lanes, start using our brains
and get rid of the ******* chains!


They're burning us slowly at the stake
Our lives they're prepared to take
This system was not built to defend us
but to rule us, brainwash and control us
So open your eyes and revolutionize
Assert your position, your freedom utilize!


Go forth and march at the gates
Fueled by fire, justice and rage
This generation should not take their ****
Stand against the norm and defy it  



I'm sick of seeing yellow people
wearing blindfolds on their eyes
reading yellow newspapers
believing yellow lies

They won't let you go, They'll keep you in line
Because you let them ******* in the mind
They won't let you go, They'll keep you in line
Unless you stand up and open your mind


They won't let you win, They'll keep trapped
Because you keep taking their crap
They won't let you go, They'll keep you in line
Unless you stand up and open your mind

Tonight the lights are on and the night is surprisingly warm
and despite the joy, the smiles
and the merriment
The thought of tomorrow still makes me cringe
Like how the Grinch hates Christmas
I hate how the season always reminds me of what's left, what's missing and what has changed
And how lonely it is to be a skeptic
when everyone else believes
how awful it is to know that all of us
are pretending
so no one will know how the dark clouds are consuming us
and no amount of presents or kisses or hugs
is ever going to fill that void
and despite the Christmas sweaters
we still feel cold
despite the smiles
we still feel like frauds
with our hearts
growing molds

You said I need to stop pretending like nothing hurts me
To which I replied, I was never an actor and I never pretend.
You sighed with that extra exhausted breath
And it sounded like you're giving up on me
Then I realized you’re about to  

You said I need to stop wearing my anger like an armor of steel ,
And my love like a wall of bricks
because the stronger the steel and the taller the walls,
the more people get hurt

I put fences and traps around my heart
so no one will ever touch it
Then I saw you desperately hide your bruises,
your raw scars and the evidence that you tried

The spaces between your fingers I cannot fill anymore
because my hands are nothing but angry fists I can’t unfurl
The story of us is nothing but an urban legend that refuses to die
Instead of the fairy tale with a happy ending that you wanted

I let myself become the villain for too long, I forgot to be your hero

You told me to stay away because you’re a time bomb
just waiting for the right moment to explode
You said I wouldn’t be able to handle the mess,
couldn’t stand the shrapnel hitting my heart like bullets
I won’t survive and there will be nothing left of me
but broken pieces


But darling you forgot,
I’m a stick of dynamite already lit on both ends
I don’t need triggers
I have no control
and when I explode
I destroy it all

You said sadness is just a phase and I tried to believe you  
But like all the words you gave me wrapped in flowers
Soon withered and died along with the words that once spoke true
You said that emptiness is just a phase
Like all the mundane things we did when we were young
I will forget how it feels like to be so hollow that I can feel the wind going through me
But see, I never forgot about the mundane things you and I did
In fact, they’re the ones I remember the most
And to this day, no matter how many sweaters I wear
I still feel so cold as if I just swallowed the iceberg that sank the Titanic
Along with the ship full of people awaiting their deaths
And Jack and Rose
You said that this is for the best  
And when I asked why, you said my questions are just a phase
And you changed the topic so fast as if I never brought it up
It’s been 678 days and I haven’t got the ‘because’ to that ‘why’
And I’m still living in this phases that should’ve been over by now according to Science
I still hear your voice saying ‘it’s just a phase’ and I’m still trying to believe you
I can’t stop believing in you because I don’t want to wake up one day
At 4am with a heavy heart, realizing the fact that
for you, I was just a phase too.

People say I was drawn to you

Like a moth to a flame

But I say

It was the other way around

You were drawn to me

Like a flame to a moth

Because you couldn't wait

to burn me to ashes

You have no idea how many times I told myself that it’s not you. For years I have been pushing back these thoughts to the back of my head, locking them up and making sure they won’t ever, ever come back to haunt me. But they do, every single day because everything I see reminds me of how you look like and how you used to be. I used to hate strangers with the same haircuts as you. Most jokes and puns fail to amuse me now because I only find them funny when you’re the one telling them. I hated some words and refuse to use them whenever I write because you say them frequently. I’m afraid to sound like you. I am always scared of writing about how awful I feel because they’re mostly your fault. I used to hide behind my words, my metaphors and similes just so you won’t ever find out that all I ever wrote were letters to you that I never sent. Writing addresses as sloppily as I could and hoping whoever gets these letters also gets how I feel and sympathize with me. So far, no one ever replied. Like you, maybe they don’t care as much as I do. I’m always the one who cares the most. Always.

I feel even worse whenever you call me and I hear that extra breath you do after you say you missed me. For some reason, it tells me that you mean it. I never knew how to respond to that because I don’t know how to say I miss you more and it’s killing me every day. I sometimes wish you’d stop saying those words no matter how much I crave them because I never wanted to be that pathetic person who’s forever waiting on the other line, getting excited by every word you say. But I am. I wish you were a liar. I wish you’d stop calling me. I don’t want to hear your voice anymore but I don’t want to forget how you sound like when you say my name.

I don’t know if you noticed how I always put my arms in front of me whenever you want a hug as if I’m defending myself from you. The worst part is, you hug me anyway even though I never hug you back. I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to hug you back, believe me I do, very ******* much. You don’t know how much I regret not hugging you back. I’m just really terrified that I might not let you go. I don’t want to be a thief. I have enough reasons to be disappointed at myself already.  

Sometimes I feel like we’re galaxies apart.  You, a big blue star in the heart of the universe and I, a black hole, exterminating everything in my path on my way to you. Midway, I stopped and I realized that if I get closer to you, I might destroy you as all the other stars I passed by. So here I am, staying away from you as far as I can, watching you from afar so I won’t ever touch the masterpiece that you are even though that’s all I ever wanted to do ever since we met. I watch you shine from a distance as I starve myself from the warmth of your light. I remain in the darkness, quietly counting the light years between us.