Oliver

Oliver Oct 2018

I am burdened
With emotions
I don’t want to feel
Don’t know how to deal
With my suffocating heart
My brain tries to depart
I don’t want this to be real

My mind struggles
Under the weight
Of my broken reality
Something’s wrong with me
The blood in my veins
Are filled up with pain
Unfortunate calamity

I am too much
Yet not enough
Beneath waves filled with hell
I drown under the swell
Crumbling under pressure
Can’t escape this, ever
Bottom of a never ending well

The title is German - the literal translation is “life tired”

#drown #notenough #escape #pressure #emotions #struggle #pain

Oliver Oct 2018

Please Don’t Let Me Fall Asleep

I can’t go to sleep
My body is fighting
Through the dim lighting
Pain is igniting

I won’t go to sleep
My nightmares won’t cease
From hell released
Please give me some peace

I don’t want to go to sleep
Don’t show my despair
Don’t want to be there
I know nobody cares

I will not fall asleep
Yes, dreams do come true
But I thought you knew
Nightmares are dreams too.

#sleep #nightmare #dream #scared #sad #despair

Oliver Sep 2018

Ignorance Is Bliss

Maybe we’ll be fine
Pretending it’s okay now
Turning a blind eye.

#ignore #ignorance #pretend #okay #bliss #lookaway #haiku

Oliver Sep 2018

Crowd

Too many bodies
Strange arms and hands
Too close, too close
I can’t hear my thoughts
Through that constant noise
I can’t see over the shoulders
I can’t see through the gaps
I’m being pushed
All sides closing in
I’m moving against my will
Swept along in a sea of flesh
When will it stop
When will I get out
I can’t hear
I can’t see
I can’t breathe
The crowd doesn’t allow escape.

#claustrophobic #crowd #strangers #stuck #afraid #escape

Oliver Sep 2018

Speaking Is Hard

I’m not stupid
Honestly, I promise
I think it might be
You making me nervous

I’m bad with speaking
You might think me a fool
I stutter and stumble
Trying to keep my cool

Not much time
To think it through
But I have to analyze
What each word will mean to you

I think and I think
I know what I want to say
The problem is just
I don’t know which way

My words seem to fail me
Mouth moving like a fish
I want to talk, please
It’s my only wish

Scared of saying it wrong
Confusing you, driving you away
I’m so ******* afraid
That I’ll make it not okay

I’ve found my words
Each and every one
But when I look back up
You’re already gone

#gone #trying #words #thoughts #nervous #scared #talking

Oliver Sep 2018

Moth

I am just a moth
In a world of butterflies
Nonetheless, I fly.

#haiku #try #fly #beyourself #moth

Oliver Sep 2018

Trying

I am a stranger
From the outside looking in
I’m trying
I’m trying to be here
But no matter how I try
I’m still not inside

I am a nobody
Invisible to those who are close
I’m trying
I’m trying to be a part
But no matter how I try
I’m still overlooked and forgotten

I am nothing
Meaningless to everyone
I’m trying
I’m trying to mean something
But no matter how I try
I’ll always be worthless

#try #worthless #nothing #forgotten #sad #nobody #alone